


The Past and its Scars

by NovaLobos



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst and Romance, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/F, Happy Ending, Healing, Magic, Mental Health Issues, Modern Era, Multi, Nightmares, Older Characters, Post-Canon, Relationship Problems, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, Trauma, Trust Issues, canon-typical triggers, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:22:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 63,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24731527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaLobos/pseuds/NovaLobos
Summary: After recovering from the physical trauma of her ordeal at Ohtori Academy, Utena, tries her best to live a normal life. Unfortunately, fate has a different idea and she will have to overcome multiple obstacles before freeing herself from her haunted past.This story is kind of an AU that focuses more on the magical/supernatural aspects of the story and will have added background to some of the characters with added lore.
Relationships: Himemiya Anthy & Tenjou Utena, Himemiya Anthy/Tenjou Utena
Comments: 32
Kudos: 71





	1. Stumbling in the Dark (prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> *Hey everyone, I recently became a fan of RGU and enjoyed it so much it inspired me to write this story. There is going to be variations in how the characters act, due to their trauma and experiences; especially since the main plot of story takes place 12 years after the events of the show. This is my first fanfiction; it was suppose to be a simple story but somehow got carried away.
> 
> \- I'd also like to thank my amazing girlfriend for beta-reading this, even though she isn't a fan of RGU lol
> 
> FYI: I will post some warnings at the top of certain chapters, but know that this story will mention rape (nothing crazy explicit) and there will be a bit of NSFW content, which I will also mention in the notes.

The cold breeze sways calmly over her skin as her blue eyes watch the darkness slowly envelope the surrounding hues of yellows and oranges. She couldn’t remember when it happened, but the night sky now harbored feelings of duplicity, anger, and regret, to the point of abhorrence. There was a good reason, but that reason was now lost within the deepest darkest recesses of her mind.

Her limbs felt rigid and rooted while she laid on the hard-concrete floor, trying to ignore the searing pain coming from the countless stab wounds encasing her body.

Blood flowed slowly onto the asphalt floor from the larger deeper wounds, while the rest slowly started to heal. A metallic taste covered her tongue and she wanted to spit, to get rid of the blood, but she couldn’t even move and was forced to swallow it back. Making her stomach churn with nausea.

As the moments ticked away, she could feel her body slowly going numb. It was a merciful reprieve, much better than the feeling of thousands of metal sharp objects impaling into every inch of exposed skin.

She now felt like she was floating, like she had drifted into a hallucination and could no longer tell if this was truly happening.

Her thoughts and memories slowly started to trickle away.

_Did I fail?_

What an odd question to ponder, especially considering the fact that she couldn’t even remember how she ended up under the open sky. She felt so tired now, her eye lids were unnaturally heavy, and sleep sounded nice.

She’d consider that question further once she woke up…if she woke up…

***

Her eyes fluttered as she struggles to open them, her vision was blurry and the blinding fluorescent in the ceiling was preventing her eyes from adjusting.

She jerked her hand up to shield her eyes, while simultaneously attempting to sit up. She quickly regrets her decision because the sudden movement sent jolts of burning pain throughout her body. Making her bite down on her lip and tighten her jaw, to quell a scream. She decided to let her body drop against the mattress, which only intensified the searing pain on her back, finally forcing a loud scream to escape from her lips. She hoped it would offer some sort of reprieve but just like all her prior choices it only made the pain worse.

The sound of her screams must’ve alerted people nearby because she could now hear commotion coming from outside of the room, along with approaching footsteps. She finally relaxed long enough to reopen her eyes and focus on her surroundings. Nothing about the space was familiar and her brain was having a hard time trying to piece everything together. All the charts, machines and IV all pointed to her being in one location but she couldn’t quite think of the word.

The rapid chiming of a heart monitor caught her attention and provided her with the last clue needed to realize that she was in a hospital. _How did I get here…? What happened…?_

Her ongoing questions were interrupted when a doctor and nurse stepped up to the bed. She tried to observe the doctor through her peripheral, making sure not to move another inch. The doctor checked some of the machines near her bed and made a few annotations onto a clipboard.

“It’s good to see you are awake now, Miss Tenjou, but try not to move too quickly. Your body is still recovering from surgery.”

“Surgery?” Her voice was barely audible. She swallowed hard, realizing how dehydrated she was. She surveyed the room, looking for anything that might help her dry throat. Her eyes quickly honed in on a water pitcher that was perched on a table nearby.

The doctor noticed her staring intently at the water and nodded in understanding.

“You must be thirsty, nurse would you mind?” He scribbled a few more notes into his clipboard, while the nurse poured some water into a cup. “Ok, Miss Tenjou, we have to place you into a sitting position.”

Utena nodded weakly. Then the doctor pressed a button on the bed that slowly started easing her into a sitting position. She winced when the pain returned but it was bearable. The nurse stood to the left of the bed, cup in hand.

Utena stubbornly tried to lift her hand to retrieve the cup, but was greeted with a painful reminder of her bodies aching affliction.

The nurse added a straw to the cup and held it closer to her, so she could take a sip. The nurse’s simple gesture of kindness unwittingly made her frustration grow; she hated feeling so frail, and so vulnerable. But ultimately, she pushed her pride aside and took a generous sip from the cup. The cold sensation of the liquid on her tongue and throat felt wonderous, she smiled thankfully at the nurse.

“What happened?” Utena asked, her voice still hoarse.

“We’re not to sure, you were brought here by ambulance after some good samaritans found you. You’ve been in the hospital for about three days and are recovering from a surgery.” The doctor responded.

Utena found the information overwhelming, especially since she couldn’t remember how she got injured in the first place. She studied her arms and noticed that they were mostly covered in bandages. _What the hell could’ve done this?_

The doctor cleared his throat, trying to bring her attention back to him.

“You sustained multiple puncture wounds, along with random lacerations all throughout your body. Most appeared to have been caused by some sort of sharp object, maybe glass or metal from a fall. The stab wound on your lower back missed vital organs, but caused severe internal bleeding, so we had to operate.”

The doctor finished explaining her current status, and said he would contact a relative.

She was given a dose of Vicodin after complaining about the pain and she waited impatiently, for the drugs to kick in. Fortunately, her body soon relaxed, and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep once again.

**

“Utena…Utena.”

The faint calling of her name stirred her from her sleep, she felt the warmth of someone’s hand around her own. Utena looked to her left, taking good care not to move her neck too abruptly. Blue eyes focused on the figure sitting next to her, and she smiled at the familiar face. “Aunt…Yurika.”

“Ah, thank goodness. You’ve had me so worried the past few days.”

“I’m sorry, auntie.”

Yurika’s concerned expression and sorrowful eyes studied Utena. “How did this happen?”

She sighed lightly, trying to recall the events leading up to her hospitalization but her memory felt so hazy. “I-I’m not sure…” She felt her aunt squeeze her hand gently.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

Utena closed her eyes, trying to backtrack to her last tangible memory. It wasn’t long before she realized that the last thing, she could remember was her and Wakaba roaming the school grounds. _That feels so long ago…_ She continued to sift through her mind, then remembered stopping behind a large crowd that was laughing at something posted on one of the school announcements boards. _Why were they laughing?_ She tried to concentrate, it felt like that information was important, but the memory started to break apart, she needed to work quickly. _Wakaba…she was upset…why…why…_

The scrambling memories all floated aimlessly through her mind until the image of Kyouich Saionji and the love letter appeared. It was enough for her to remember confronting him and challenging him to a duel. _What happened next…did we actually fight?_

Yurika squeezed her hand, and the memories slipped away.

“Utena?”

She opened her eyes and focused them on her aunt, “I’m sorry, I’m trying to remember.”

“It’s ok, why don’t I just talk about my day instead?” She gave her a kind smile.

She smiled weakly in return, “Ok.”

Her aunt started off by talking about the major projects she was working on, and how much she had been traveling over the last few months. Utena welcomed the distraction; she really had missed her. They spent about three hours together before Yurika had to say goodbye.

“I’ll be back tomorrow after work. Don’t give the nurses _too_ much trouble.”

Utena chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’ll try not to.”

She stared up at the ceiling for several minutes after her aunt had left, trying her best to piece every memory back together. But it was a futile attempt, most of the pieces were missing and the ones on the table were a mismatching mess.

Still she pushed forward, treading through the darkness, until a blistering headache blocked her path. The headache pounded harder and harder against her skull, it jumbled her memories and tore away at her resolve. Leaving her with nothing but the pain, the pain coursing through every vein, every muscle and every bone. They all begged for her to stop, to end the torture, to stop the pain, and she could do nothing but give into the pleas and into sleep.

* * *

Utena sighed while she laid on the grass to stare up at the sunset. She had just finished off with her last physical therapy appointment and was glad it was over; she was starting to grow impatient with the staff. Who constantly hounded her about taking things slowly, especially during the first month of her recovery. She couldn’t help it; she wasn’t use to spending so much time indoors and missed playing sports.

It had now been six months since the accident, or was it an attack? She wasn’t quite sure what it was but regardless, it had forced her to undergo a surgery and months of painful rehabilitation.

She had recovered random snippets of her memory but not enough to piece the events leading up to the hospitalization. Her memory of Ohtori Academy was basically mapped out, yet something always seemed to be missing.

Faces were also difficult for her to remember, although she could identify a few teachers, some classmates, Wakaba and Saionji. But she knew there had to be others, she could feel the memories at her finger tips, but the more she reached for them the further they would slip away.

She massaged her forehead, feeling the beginning stages of a headache. It was a clear sign she needed to stop dwelling on her past for the moment.

Utena jumped to her feet and started walking back to her aunt’s house, thoughts focused on the next days to do list.

A small grin spread across her lips when she remembered that the weekend had begun and she wouldn’t have to worry about going to school for a few days. The thought of hikes, or exploration around the city only widened her smile, it felt nice having some independence back in her life.

It was also nice having time to herself, without the constant hassle of medical staff or her aunt looming over her. She thought back on her hospital stay and how bored and depressing it was, it made her appreciate her new found freedom that much more.

Utena decided that the weather outside was too perfect to waste, and made her way to the park about a block away from her home. It was dark out now, but the street lights illuminated the park enough that she had no trouble finding her way over to the swings. She noticed a few young children playing tag; their carefree laughter and excited chatter put her mind at ease.

After a few fun rounds of the game the kids finally left the park, leaving her alone to bask in the silence. For most this would be a calming atmosphere but for her it was the complete opposite and it didn't take long for her mind to become restless. A tightening pressure started to build in her chest and her breathing became shallow. Utena tightened her hold around the swing's plastic-coated chain, in an attempt to ground herself but panic forced its way through, taking hold of every crevice of her body and stiffening her muscles.

The lights around her disappeared, plunging her in to perpetual darkness. Everything around her faded away, she couldn’t see the trees, the structures, or the sand below her feet. Utena knew it was all in her head, so she shut her eyes tightly and tried to regain her composure. But it wasn’t enough, she had lost control and was now at the mercy of her inner demons. She wanted to scream, to move, to run, anything was better than standing still.

This was the only obstacle she hadn’t been able to overcome and even when she felt like she was moving passed it, and becoming stronger, the darkness always found its way back in. Shattering her hard work into a million pieces and using it to break her down. She could hear the voices, in the distance, always persistent in reminding her she was nothing. They tore at her soul so fiercely that it felt like her skin was being ripped apart.

Utena didn’t know how much more of this she could take; everything was closing in on her and there was no escape in sight.

Fingers suddenly wrapped around her shoulder reassuringly, it was enough to clear her mind of the voices, which allowed her to catch her breath. Utena reluctantly opened her eyes and was relieved to see the sand at her feet. She looked over her shoulder expecting to see a stranger standing behind her, but there was nothing. She stood up and searched for any signs of life, however all she saw was a few scurrying squirrels jumping from branch to branch.

_It was just my imagination…_

Just her mind creating a new coping mechanism for her anxieties and hallucinations, yes...that's the only explanation that made any sense. A heavy sigh slipped from her lips, this was yet another setback, proving that she needed to work harder. 

Utena decided then she had had enough of the night sky and returned to the sidewalk leading towards her house. As she walked, she worked on hiding all her troubles away, making sure to plaster on a smile that her aunt wouldn't be able to see through. Her aunt already worried too much and she hated placing the burden of her recovery on her.

She entered her aunt’s house, “I’m home,” she announced, before turning to make sure she locked the door behind her.

“Oh, good, dinners just about ready,” Yurika called out from the kitchen. “How was it?”

“Therapy?” Utena stepped over to the table and sat down in one of the chairs. “It was great, they said everything is working fine.” She leaned lazily into the chair, then fiddled with the silverware on the table.

“Well I’m glad, but you still have to take it easy.” Yurika insisted as she placed some plates down on the table.

“Here, let me help.” She quickly stood up and helped her aunt bring dinner to the table.

“Thanks, but I’m being serious, Utena,” Yurika’s voice was stern, “You’re not invincible.” Utena nodded then gave her aunt a confident smile, to which the older woman shook her head disapprovingly. “You have got to be the most stubborn child on this planet.” Utena’s smile only widened.

They both sat down and started eating.

After several quiet minutes Yurika placed her silverware down and took a sip of her drink. “Don’t forget that you have your first appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow.”

Utena stopped the spoonful of food halfway to her mouth, and clenched her jaw annoyingly, “I don’t need to see a shrink. I’m fine.”

Yurika sighed impatiently, “Look, if you won’t do it for yourself at least do it for _my_ well-being.”

Utena finished bringing the spoonful of food to her mouth and started chewing very slowly, thinking it would stop her aunt from prying. Unfortunately, her aunt just waited patiently for her to finish. “I’m ok, really, you’ve already spent so much money and—”

Yurika placed a comforting hand on her nieces’ shoulder, “You are more important than money, Utena, and I know that you are struggling. Your school has called several times about your outbursts and behavior.”

“They’re over-exaggerating.” She muttered while crossing her arms over her chest.

With a concerned and saddened tone Yurika continued, “Maybe…but your sleep terrors are getting worse.”

Utena’s eyes widened with surprise and embarrassment. She knew of her reoccurring nightmares, but had no idea that her struggles were manifesting themselves into reality and that her aunt had witnessed it.

The nightmares all started the same way; she was surrounded by darkness and could hear voices yelling all around her. The voices sounded very distorted but she could tell that they were screaming for someone to help them. She always tried running through the darkness, calling out to them and trying to find a way out. But no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t find an escape.

She scrunched her face in frustration when her mind drew a blank on any further details. The only other things that were a constant after every nightmare, were that she always woke up drenched in sweat with her heart pounding erratically within her chest.

Utena placed her hands in her lap, tightening her fists until her knuckles were white. Frustrated that her aunt was dealing with yet another issue on her behalf. She wished she could just get over everything and live a normal life. Was that really too much to ask for?

With great effort she gave her aunt a reassuring smile, “Ok…I’ll go see the psychiatrist,” Utena stood up “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” She took her dishes to the sink before retiring to her room.

She changed into a comfortable grey t-shirt and shorts, it was a warm night and she knew better than to wrap herself up in layers. She knew she would wake up drenched in sweat, just like the night before.

Utena recalled a time when she enjoyed sleep, and could nap just about anywhere. Now it was one of the worst parts of the day. The nightmares would come just like every other night and plunge her into the blackened abyss of her mind.

She couldn’t wrap her head around why these visions plagued her, or why the nightmare seemed to be stuck in a constant unchanging loop.

She let herself relax into the mattress and reluctantly closed her eyes, preparing herself for the onslaught of nightmares to begin.

*

_Utena found herself surrounded by utter darkness, just like the dreams before, except this time she was unable to run. She was trapped inside some sort of cramped crate. That was boarded up on all sides, with nothing but her anxiety and panic to keep her company. She tried to claw and push against the walls but nothing was working. She started to bang against the wall in front of her and cried out for help._

_As she continued her attempted escape, she could hear voices approaching. She cried out louder, hoping they would come to her aid. The voices slowly inched closer and closer, until she could hear them right above her head. Utena stopped banging against the crate when the voices abruptly disappeared. She stood quietly in silence, intently listening to her surroundings until the voices angrily returned._

_“Whore!”_

_“Dyke!”_

_“Slut!”_

_“Bitch!”_

_“Witch!”_

_“Weakling!”_

_“Failure!”_

_Utena quickly covered her ears, trying to stifle out the screeching voices. She tried to plead for help once more but her cries were drowned out by the voice’s vile and degrading words._

_She could feel her chest start to constrict as she struggled to keep herself from hyperventilating._

_The voices insults and rage grew with every passing moment, but through the chaos she realized that the words ‘weakling’ and ‘failure’ were constantly reoccurring. Violently barraging every inch of her mind as if punishing her for a past crime._

_"You were too weak!"_

_"You're a failure!"_

_I was too weak...I am a failure…I failed her…_

Her body jolted itself awake and she sat up clutching her chest while agonizing pain spread across every inch of her body. The familiar sensation took her back to that first day at the hospital, when all her wounds were fresh and constantly aching. 

Utena tried to compose herself; her erratic breathing was making her feel light-headed, and she needed to calm down. _Breathe…breathe…fucking breathe._ She finally managed to relax and as her lungs steadied, the pain slowly started to dissipate.

She leaned her back up against the headboard of the bed, taking small sips from a water bottle she had left on the nightstand. Her throat felt raw, like she had been screaming for hours. She hoped her yelling hadn’t manifested out to the real world and bothered her aunt. Last thing she wanted was her aunt barging into the room, scared and worried.

To her surprise, she could remember the dream with complete clarity, every single second of it was imprinted on her mind. Sure, it didn’t make much sense but maybe it meant something. _Trapped, darkness, voices._ It was the three constant mediums that her mind used to torture her.

But those weren’t very helpful, she needed to find something different. Anything that would provide her with something new.

_I could understand the voices, their insults were directed at me…failure…they called me a failure, I failed her…who is her?_

Utena pushed the back of her head against the headboard, adding pressure to the headache that was building. She tried to decipher her dream further but the ringing headache intensified, like it always did when she thought of the past. She decided to close her eyes, knowing she would either be plunged back into another nightmare or she would wake up to her alarm. At this point she didn't care, she was too exhausted and needed to close her eyes.

***

Utena stood in front of the tall brick building, holding up the address her aunt had given her for the psychiatrist. She verified the location then crumpled the paper into her jeans pocket. She was extremely tired and wasn’t looking forward to having someone poking and prodding into her past. She hardly enjoyed doing that herself.

She entered the lobby and was asked to sit, while the doctor finished with the earlier appointment. She fiddled anxiously with the paper in her pocket. This isn’t how she wanted to spend her weekend.

The door to the doctor’s office finally opened and a man in his 50’s exited first, followed by a woman in her 30’s. The woman looked at her and smiled politely. “Miss Utena Tenjou, you may come in now.” The woman disappeared back into her office before Utena could even stand to follow.

Utena cautiously entered the medium sized office, and sat down on the couch indicated by the psychiatrist. The first thing she noticed was the small coffee table and the bouquet of roses resting on top of it. A flash of anger and resentment flooded her; she inhaled deeply counting to five and then let her breath exhale slowly. It was a strategy her aunt had taught her, she used it so her emotions wouldn’t get the best of her and luckily, it did the trick. She took her eyes away from the flowers, uncertain about why her emotions flared at the sight of mundane roses.

She occupied her nervous energy by shaking her left leg against the carpeted ground and letting her eyes lazily move around the room. Its walls were a light grey, it had two large book shelves, a desk, and the two couches they were sitting on. It was a neat and boring office, she thought.

“I Hope the surroundings are pleasant enough,” The psychiatrist started.

“Yeah, it’s a nice room.” She responded flatly without looking at the other woman in the room.

“My name is Doctor Akari Ito, it’s nice to finally meet you Miss Tenjou. Your aunt let me know a bit about your situation, but if possible, I would like us to start from the beginning.”

She turned and nodded at Akari, she didn’t want to seem _too_ rude, but knew it was probably obvious she didn’t want to be there. “Nice to meet you Doctor Ito.”

Akari smiled gently, “I know it’s not easy to talk about personal things, especially with a stranger, so take your time.” Utena gave her a nod and leaned her elbows on to her knees.

 _The beginning,_ she thought about her childhood and how she lost her parents at the age of six, it wasn’t something _too_ difficult to talk about now, so she decided to start there.

“I lost my parents when I was only six years old, it was the first time I was ever confronted with death.”

As she continued to explain her childhood, her memory drifted back to the church and her parent’s coffins. She remembered hiding within the third empty coffin, the feelings of dejection and abandonment surfaced with the thought. She had wanted to be buried with them, and even now a part of her still wished that had been the case. It surely would’ve made things easier, especially on her aunt.

Utena paused her conversation with the psychiatrist while she dwelled further on the memory. The image of a boy in white approaching the coffin suddenly popped in her head, but she couldn’t recall his face. This was just another useless piece of the puzzle that she couldn’t put together. Why were her memories so broken? Why didn’t anything make any sense, what was her mind repressing from her.

“Miss Tenjou, are you ok?” Akari asked, a bit concerned.

“Huh?” She blinked twice, then shook her head, trying to focus. “Um, yeah I’m ok.”

“So, how was your school experience after your parent’s funeral?”

“Fine,” She continued to talk about the mundane for about another 20 minutes, but she didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell the doctor about her nightmares or broken recollections.

“This is as good a place as any to stop for today. We can pick it up again next week, I will call your aunt to confirm the appointment.” Akira led Utena out of her office, “See you next week.”

Utena stepped out of the building and onto the sidewalk, she was glad to be out of that awkward situation, and away from the roses. The smell of the flowers still lingered and it made her sneeze. _That’s probably why I hate roses…I’m allergic._ She pursed her lips inwardly, no that wasn’t right, maybe it was because it reminded her of funerals and her parents?

She shrugged her shoulders in response to herself and started walking back to her aunt’s house. She was feeling drained and hungry. Once home, she was going to take a well-deserved break from her thoughts and watch mindless television.

Immediately after arriving home, Utena and her aunt went through the normal routine, she divulged her experience with the psychiatrist and her aunt talked about her events at work. Thankfully, her aunt didn’t pry too much into her appointment and she was able to eat her dinner in relative peace. She spent about two hours watching cartoons before she finally went to bed.

She stared blankly at the ceiling, trying hard not to think about anything. After she had her fill of the ceiling, she prepared herself for bed. She brushed her teeth and changed into a baggy white t-shirt and black shorts. She crossed her fingers when she returned to her bed in hopes of a dreamless night. _Please, just one night._ Her plea went unheard.

*

_Utena pounded and pounded at the wall across from her, her fists were bruised and she could feel something warm trickling down her knuckles. She could hear the voices approaching, she needed to escape before they got any closer. She kicked and punched at her cage but nothing seemed to be working. She was so tired, so lost, and her hope was slowly draining away._

_The voices finally reached her, the onslaught of threats and insults began, forcing her, like before, to cover her ears. She knew it wouldn’t work but what else could she do? Every insult felt like it was cutting into her skin. She was so weak, she can’t escape, why was she trying?_

_“Miss Utena!”_

_She jerked her head in the direction of the woman’s voice, it sounded familiar?_

_“Please, help me! I’m here!” Utena called out to the woman._

_“Miss Utena!”_

_“I’m here!” She started pounding at the walls with restored vigor. Someone knew she was here, she needed to break through this box._

_With a few more strong punches she managed to break a hole into the wall across from her. She pulled and pried at the opening until she was able to squeeze herself out of the prison._

_Utena emerged from the enclosure and stood up, taking a moment to look back at the cage, her eyes widened with horror as she stared at a coffin identical to that of her parents. She swallowed hard, pulling her eyes away from the casket when the disembodied voices -of what she assumed were hundreds of people- reverberated loudly between the tall distorted trees that now flanked her on all sides._

The loathing and disdain in the voices was so clear and palpable, that it brought a cold chill down her spine. There was no doubt in her mind that these people were here to take her life and that the only way to survive was to avoid them at all costs.

_Her blue eyes darted in all directions searching for shelter but the grey sky and approaching fog made it difficult to see too far in any given direction. Her search continued until she found an area devoid of sound, and without hesitation she delved into the park, the fog thickening with every step she took._

_After running for what seemed like hours she slowed down to a light jog. The trees disappeared and in its place appeared a concrete bridge, something about its architecture seemed familiar but she wasn’t sure, the fog was too dense to really discern any details._

_Utena stopped as she approached a torn up old gate, its brick walls were riddled with breaks and cracks just like the buildings beyond it. The structure appeared to be over hundreds of years old._

_She stepped through the gate cautiously, and started roaming the grounds. The fog still covered most of the area, which only made her descent that much more difficult. Countless large slabs of concrete were protruding out of the ground at jagged angles, like a vicious earthquake had crippled the vicinity._

_The deeper she walked into the structure the more she recalled Ohtori Academy. The only difference was that this location was in complete disarray. She stopped dead in her tracks when the smell of roses flooded her senses. The fog in front of her slowly started to dissipate, revealing a rose garden in the shape of a birdcage. All the glass around it was shattered and most of the roses were either dead or dying. Her throat constricted as her eyes took in every detail of the rundown garden, she knew she should recognize this but that memory was out of reach. Just like any other important detail of her past._

_Utena took a few steps forward, but was brought down to one knee when a sharp searing sensation erupted from her lower back, slowly making its way to her abdomen. Her vision became blurry, increasing the rate of her heartbeat which felt like it was being crushed from within. She gritted her teeth and pressed her hand to her chest, clutching her shirt in a vain attempt to stop the pain._

_“Stubborn and reckless hero…you could never be my prince.”_

_Why were those words so familiar? “Who’s there?!” Why was the voice so familiar? Her eyes darted from side to side, but no one was standing close enough to be seen._

_She could hear other voices approaching, they were eagerly searching for her, ready to inflict more pain, but why? Why did she deserve so much suffering, so much hate? Who’s this Hero? A Prince? Nothing was making any sense but she couldn’t dwell on that, she needed to find somewhere safe to hide, or preferably a weapon._

_She tried to stand but stumbled back to the floor after a few meager steps. The pain was too severe, but she wasn’t ready to give up. She escaped the coffin; she could escape this. She staggered to her feet once more and limped her way towards the rose garden. Maybe there would be a shovel or something else she could use to protect herself._

_She rummaged through the small garden and found an ax; it was proving too heavy to wield in her current state but it was better than nothing. She used the axe as a cane, propping herself up, waiting for the hundreds of angry people to commence their attack._

_The voices approached from all directions, she searched for an enemy, for a human form to fight but there was none..._

_The voices quickly overwhelmed her, invading her mind, and increasing the pain to an unbearable degree. She yelled and cried, until the sound of church bells drowned out both the voices and her screaming..._

Utena’s eyes opened wide to reveal her bedroom ceiling, she could still feel the pain raging within her body and her lungs were burning from hyperventilating. The rise of bile forced her off the bed and into the restroom. She managed to reach the toilet before her stomach decided to purge her dinner.

She spent a good 10 minutes over the toilet before she was able to relax enough to stand. She stood over the sink, splashing water on her face before glancing into the mirror to study her reflection. Her shirt was drenched in sweat and was that… _blood?_ The fresh red stain was about the size of a fist.

Slowly she pulled the hem of her shirt up, revealing dried blood around one of the largest scars from her accident. She quickly cleaned off the blood and examined the scar, there was a small scratch, but the wound wasn’t deep enough to cause that amount of blood loss. So where had it come from?

She shook her head, pushing her uneasy thoughts aside while switching out her dirty clothes for a new pair. She’d have to make sure to wake up early enough to toss the clothing, before her aunt caught wind of them. Utena didn’t want her to get the wrong idea, especially since her aunt already thought she was going insane.

She sat on the edge of her bed and looked at all the scars printed on her arms and legs. She _really_ hated looking at them, they were nothing but a constant reminder of a past she knew nothing about.

Luckily, the wounds on her stomach and chest didn’t leave many visible scars, the most noticeable scar started in her lower back and exited by her stomach. Her aunt chalked up the lack of scars to the vitamin e-oil and scar gel. She was just glad that the universe had given her an inch of mercy and didn’t leave her completely disfigured.

Utena flopped back onto the bed, stomach first, and buried her face into the sheets. She backtracked through the dream. It felt extremely hyper-realistic, more so then the past few nights. It also provided a plethora of new information that didn’t make any sense. She wondered if she would ever truly recover all the pieces to her past.

Should she even want them? Her subconscious sure as hell didn’t think so.

_Well, guess only time will tell…_


	2. A Semblance of Normalcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Utena's attempt of gaining control of her life, focusing on being as normal as possible: with college, friends, sports, and figuring out how to cope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically still part of the prologue, but it's years later.

The months quickly piled on and the years came and went. The sixth-year anniversary of her hospitalization was fast approaching. Luckily, she wasn’t anywhere near Ohtori, she wasn’t even in the same country anymore. Her aunts job had them travel to the United States and they had now been living in the west coast for almost four years.

Utena was enjoying all the sightseeing and meeting new people, it was the type of experience she needed in order to forget about the past that she now knew all too well.

Her memories had slowly trickled in, either triggered by an image, smell, or action. She had every single memory back; yet some questions were still left unanswered. She wondered if anyone else had escaped from that prison.

The sudden fragrance of roses invaded her senses and with it came the image of Anthy Himemiya, which stirred feelings of longing.

 _No, I hate her. She betrayed me, hurt me and used me. I hate her…_ But she didn’t, not really, no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t. Those words were a hallow shield, protecting her from the impossible truth.

The hard truth that no matter how much she had changed, she still remained the same, childish and foolish, longing for something she knew would hurt her in the end.

That’s why she had discarded most of her childhood ideologies, in hopes of changing every aspect of herself. To throw away those deluded ideas, to salvage and reforge herself anew and into something that wouldn’t fall for the same trap twice.

The real world’s everyday lessons had helped her adapt and she was starting to like who she was becoming. She had friends, enjoyed parties, drinking, dating and all the other normal things this world had to offer.

Everything was easier now, but her past had a bad habit of turning up during the most inconvenient times and today was no different.

Utena sighed annoyingly, tapping the eraser of her pencil on the desk; while she stared down at her test. She needed to make sure she scored well, or else she would be placed on academic probation and unable to play on her college basketball team. She cleared her head and finished the exam, confident she at least passed. She gathered her gear, turned in her test and then made her way over to the next class.

The open corridor was bustling with life, students congregated in their groups and talked loud enough for her to catch school gossip. She let her mind wander until she stepped in front of the door to her next class. She wrapped her fingers around the handle but never managed to open it because someone had rushed her from behind.

“What the f—” Was all she was able to yell out before she landed hard on the floor, nose only inches from the ground.

“What happened to your cat like reflexes?”

“Peyton, get off!” Utena exclaimed, a bit flustered.

Peyton giggled as she ruffled the other woman’s hair, “Here and now? Shouldn’t we get a room first?” She said teasingly before standing and helping Utena to her feet.

Utena narrowed her eyes at her friend, “That jokes getting old.” She smirked after Peyton stuck her tongue out at her. “So, what’s up?”

“Practice was cancelled, but me and some of the girls are planning on having a pickup game. You interested?”

She raised an eyebrow at the brunette, “You couldn’t just text me that?”

Peyton smiled, “It’s more fun this way, plus I’m trying to get you to focus. You’ve been distracted lately and its messing with our game. It’s not because of Sophia, right?”

“No, no of course not. That was a mutual breakup. I’ve just had other things on my mind”

Peyton gave her a quick hug, “You know you can talk to me, right?” She watched the other woman smile and nod her head. “Or you can talk to your butt buddy Clay.” She smirked.

Utena chuckled, “Yeah, because your boyfriend is _so_ great with emotions.” She watched her friend give her a cold glare, to which she smiled nervously in return, “He’s a good guy, don’t get me wrong…but his advice… _well_ …” She let her words trail off, knowing she was digging herself into a hole.

“Spit it out Utena!”

“Umm…” She could feel a small blush form on her cheeks as she rubbed the back of her neck and looked down the hallway. She was close to Peyton, but found it easier to talk to her guy friends. They were just less complicated and less secretive, which she had come to appreciate since her experience at Ohtori.

The only drawback was that most of the guys’ private conversations tended to veer on the vulgar end of things and it didn’t seem like something to mention to another woman, _especially_ not to her best friends’ girlfriend.

“Hmph,” Peyton crossed her arms and turned her back to her friend, “I hate this stupid bro code you guys keep. You’re a girl, _and_ we are friends, why can’t you tell me?”

She chuckled at her friend’s jealous behavior, “I don’t go around spilling your secrets, it’s the same thing. _Anyways_ …I’m gonna be late for class, later!” She rushed into her classroom, leaving her frustrated friend out in the hallway.

**

Utena felt an over surge of endorphins during basketball practice. Sports usually put her in a good mood, they let her go into autopilot and just enjoy the game. Giving her an escape from her overactive mind.

Sports only failed her when _that_ day of the year came around and unfortunately for her it was fast approaching. The restless thoughts were persistent but she had to push them aside in order to show her team that she was all in and wouldn’t let them down during the next game.

By the time everything was said and done on the court, Utena was extremely exhausted and starving. She was glad when the team decided to go get dinner at a local restaurant. Their team outings were always enjoyable, and her teammates never failed to put a smile on her face.

The team all gathered on a few separate tables around the patio of the restaurant, idle chatter and laughter filled the small sundeck. Adrianna another girl from the team stared at Utena with an arched eyebrow. “ _So_ , Utena…single again are we? You have a bad habit of leaving a trail of broken hearts behind you.” She teased playfully. Utena blushed furiously at the comment. She knew Adrianna didn’t mean any harm but it was still something she didn’t care to talk about.

Utena and her ex had broken up on mutual terms, end of story.

She shrugged and parted her lips to speak but was interrupted by Peyton.

“Hey, did you guys hear about the scandal with the volleyball coach?” The promise of juicy gossip diverted Adrianna and the other girl’s attention away from Utena’s love life. Peyton looked over at Utena and winked.

She gave Peyton a knowing smile and silently thanked her. Peyton was one of the few female friends she knew she could rely on. Utena had even trusted her and Clay enough to expose some of the struggles of her past.

Utena had changed up many of the details concerning her experience at Ohtori, prior to retelling the story. Mainly because it was easier than having to explain the fact that she could pull a sword out of a girl’s chest or that there was a floating castle in the sky.

She didn’t like mudding up the truth, but what choice did she have? It’s not like they would believe her, they’d probably just think she was going crazy and send her to an insane asylum.

The team laughed and talked about rumors, new game plays for the upcoming week and school events. Utena loved watching how animated everyone was during times like these.

As the night went on most of the team said their goodbyes and headed home.

Utena, Peyton and Adriana were the only people left hanging around the table. They weren’t ready to go home so they decided to stay a bit longer.

Adriana took a sip of her soda, “I’m surprised you and Sophia didn’t last, you two looked so into each other three months ago.” Utena almost physically eye rolled but didn’t. Adrianna loved the romance gossip the most.

Utena shrugged nonchalantly, “Guess it was just a fling.”

Adriana looked thoughtful for a second, then rubbed her chin, “No one can hold you down huh? What was she like your fourth girlfriend since school started?” She watched the pink haired woman expectantly waiting for an answer.

“You’re one to talk, least she asks them out and doesn’t ghost them.” Peyton interrupted, pointing an accusing finger at Adriana.

Adriana snickered and waved a dismissive hand, “Some of those guys were _too_ clingy and controlling.”

Utena propped her chin on her palm as she leaned into the table. “I hate those the most.”

“ _See!_ No one likes that, they can’t take no for an answer, which is why I ghost them.” Adriana smirked at Peyton then checked her phone. “Oh! Sorry ladies but I gotta head out.” She stood from the table and waved goodbye while walking backwards towards her car. “I’ll see you guys at school.” They waved back and watched her climb into her car.

“Wonder what was up with her.” Peyton stated, still watching Adriana pull out of her parking spot.

“She was just curious.” Utena took a sip of her soda. “People like drama.”

“I guess,” Peyton turned to face Utena, questions lingering in her eyes. There was silence for a minute then Peyton decided to ask, “Was Sophia clingy?”

“No.” Utena answered flatly, while shaking the soda cup, and listening to the ice rattle inside. “I couldn’t give her what she wanted.”

“Huh?” Peyton played with a strand of her hair, but still watched the other woman intently. “What do you mean?”

“She was opening up too quickly and didn’t like that I wouldn’t give her anything in return. She said I was _too_ closed off and that I needed to be honest.” She chewed on the straw as she thought about the argument.

“Were you?”

Utena raised an eyebrow, “What?” She stopped chewing on the straw and payed more attention to her friend.

“Honest?”

She cleared her throat and decided to watch a car roll out of the drive through, “I barely knew her…I don’t know why she wanted so much, so quickly. We had only been dating for three months.” Her tone came out more annoyed then she hoped for, which only made her chew on the plastic straw more vigorously.

“Ok, no need to get testy…I was just wondering, and stop chewing on that straw!” Peyton took her friends drink away. “It’s bad for your teeth.”

Utena pouted, “ _Fine_ , mom. Can I have my drink back?” She reached for her drink but Peyton moved it to the other side of the table. “Dude come on!”

Peyton giggled, “I remember when you use to struggle with slang, you acclimated quickly to Cali. You’re basically one of the locals now.”

She narrowed her eyes annoyingly at the other woman, “You making fun of my accent _again_?” She had learned some English while in middle school in Japan; and her aunt had them take extra courses before the trip. Her aunt was already fairly proficient in the language since she had to travel for work, and that worked out to her advantage because she was forced to practice every second of everyday. Making their transition to the states a walk in the park.

Peyton’s phone rang and she picked it up, “Oh hey babe, yeah…I’ll be home soon I’m kicking it with Utena…uh huh, yeah I’ll tell her…ok bye.” Her blue eyes focused back on her friend. “Clay says hi, and he wants to hangout this weekend so hit him up.” She stood up placing her phone into her purse. “It’s late, we should get home, still have to be up early for classes tomorrow.”

“True, guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yup, drive safe!”

The two women exchanged goodbye hugs, then returned to their respective cars and drove home.

***

She pulled into Clay’s driveway, and grabbed the six pack of Angry Orchard hard cider before walking to the door and knocking.

A tall, well-built blonde man opened the door and greeted her with a large smile. “Hey bud, glad you could make it, come on in.”

They both entered the house and she placed the six pack on top of a designated table with all the other alcohol. She grabbed one of the Angry Orchard bottles and was instantly greeted by their friend Josh and clay’s roommate Ed.

“Oh ho, look who it is!” Josh stood up and greeted her with a fist bump. “Cheers,” He held his beer up to hers and they clinked glasses together. “Weren’t sure if you were gonna make it.”

“I missed you guys, so I had to come.” She responded then took a swig of her drink. She greeted the rest of the men in the group and they lounged around until they decided to go out to the backyard and play some beer pong.

Utena watched the competition from the sidelines, while talking to Clay about their teams and everyday school life. The get together started to wind down around 12:00 AM and the remaining group all sat around the table in the kitchen.

“Heard you dropped another one, Tenjou.” Ed mentioned as he popped the lid off his beer. “Was she not a good fuck?”

She gave him a disapproving look, then waved a dismissive hand, “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, asshole.” She took a swig of her drink then placed it on the table.

“Get off your high horse Tenjou, you’ve been with more girls then anyone in this room.” He stated bluntly while adjusting his jacket self-importantly.

The chair screeched harshly against the wooden floor of the kitchen as she stood up, glaring furiously at Ed. “It’s not my fault you’re—"

“Why don’t we talk about how you got that shiner bud?!” Clay interrupted, while slapping Ed hard on his back and chuckling.

Ed narrowed his eyes at Clay, “It’s nothing, don’t start man.” He took a drink of his beer.

“Come on, don’t be shy. I mean we live together; _I saw it all_.”

Ed shoved Clay, almost tipping his chair over; but the larger man just laughed and recovered.

Ed crossed his arms aggressively over his chest, an embarrassed blush covered his cheeks as he huffed, “Fuck you Clay.”

Clay winked at the red head playfully, “Maybe later, but we have guests over, Eddy. Ok, since he won’t tell it I will.” Clay cleared his throat, “So it was a few nights ago, at like three in the morning, I’m trying to fucking sleep then all of sudden I hear the fakest most dramatic fucking moaning of my life!”

Utena, and Josh listened intently and laughed at Ed, after noticing he was now a bright shade of red. Ed decided to use the restroom before Clay could continue.

“So, what happened next?!” Josh asked eagerly.

“You guys know Daniel, right? He ‘lives’ here.” Clay emphasized while using air quotes, “Anyways, this was one of the nights he actually slept here and the whole house heard this girl, she was _super_ loud.” Clay started laughing as he thought of the memory.

“Come on don’t leave us hanging, Clay.” Utena urged him to continue.

“Ok, ok hold on,” Clay composed his laughter then took a sip of his beer. “Daniel goes to Ed’s room and slams on the door, and I mean _slams,_ honestly I’m surprised he didn’t bring the damn door down with him. Motherfucker then yells, ‘Hey, if you’re going to be loud at least make it sound sexy,’ next thing I hear are loud slaps, yelling and slamming of doors. I come out of my room to see her leaving in nothing but a bed sheet on. I go to Eddy’s room to check on them and asked what happened only to see she had just beat the fuck out of them.” Clay was starting to laugh so hard he could barely finish the story. “I asked him what the fuck happened and Eddy says ‘All I said was that Daniel wasn’t wrong!’"

Utena and Clay both cluth their ribs from the laughter. “That poor girl!” Utena squeaks out. “If you ask me, they deserved the beating.”

Josh had his hand over his lips trying hard not to spit out the beer in his mouth. He stifled his laugh, coughed and then cleared his throat before nodding in agreement, “I second that, if the poor girl had to fake it, Ed wasn’t putting in work.”

Clay finally composed himself and wiped tears from his face, “It was the funniest thing I’ve seen in years. As long as I live, Eddy will never live it down.”

Ed walked back into the kitchen, giving Clay the side eye, before turning to look at the other two guests with a neutral expression. “Hey guys, not trying to be a buzz-kill but I have work early in the morning.”

Clay stood up and faced Ed, “I’ll send them home soon dude.” Ed gave a slight nod but hung around to make sure Clay escorted them out. “Alright guys, sorry to do this but it’s time to call it a night.” Clay said loudly before leaning near Utena’s ear to whisper “Look who’s all cranky now.” They both chuckled and Ed gave them an annoyed side glance before leaving the kitchen.

Josh stood up and gave Clay a quick hug, “Thanks for having us over man, I needed this. Schools been kicking my ass, and my girlfriends been stressing me out.”

“Things will work out, your girlfriend is a good person and just wants to look out for you.” Utena mentioned reassuringly then gave him a hug.

“You’re just saying that because she’s your captain. Don’t want me to rat on you by accident.” He punched her shoulder teasingly, “You can tell me the truth, I know she’s hard to deal with but I love her so I gotta make it work.”

All three of them stepped out to the patio, Josh said his final goodbyes and walked to his car.

Clay sat on the small bench near the door while Utena leaned her shoulder up against the wood panel pillar of the patio, right across from the door.

“Thanks for coming over dude, I needed a guy’s night. Josh is right, school is hard.” He announced dispirited with a sigh, then hunched his shoulders forward, allowing his elbows to rest on his knees.

“Yeah classes have been difficult, but we’ll make it. If you need help you know you got me, and Josh. Plus, you have your amazing girlfriend.” She gave him an uplifting smile.

He gave her a wide grin in return, “Yup, you’re right we got a lot more good than bad going for us.” He stood up and stretched his arms, “I’m off to bed, get home safe bud.”

***

Utena tried to focus on her lecture, and jot down notes but she had a pounding headache. She really didn’t want to be at school, but being home alone on this dreaded anniversary would only increase her anxious energy. She always felt like her past would come back to haunt her, that Ohtori would be around the corner and she would inadvertently fall back into its madness. _That or this is a cruel dream and I’m still there…_ She shook her head, trying to get rid of the thought. She always got nervous and reminiscent around the anniversary date. It was hard to let go of her past completely, especially since she had gone through so much during her time at Ohtori.

Her class finally ended and she gathered all her things, preparing herself for the upcoming workout session at the gym.

She wiped the sweat off her forehead, then checked the time on her phone. It read 4:30 P.M. She would have to rush the rest of her workout, and pick it up tomorrow. She didn’t want to be late tonight; her aunt was pretty adamant about having her home for dinner.

Utena had been making a habit of missing most family dinners, due to her basketball games or obsessive need to practically live at the gym. Intense workouts were one of the only things that kept her mind focused enough to forget about the memories.

The years had definitely helped slow the nightmares, but the events that occurred to her, at the age of 14, were a lot worse than any fabricated story her mind could ever conjure up. 

Fortunately, for Utena, she also discovered that her love for sports and physical activity were extremely beneficial to her recovery. Her aunt was ecstatic about her progress at first but soon complained about her constant absence and worried that she was becoming _too_ obsessed with working out. The thing her aunt didn’t realize was that she was also using that excuse to go out and party. Her aunt wasn’t particularly fond of all her friends; she constantly reminded her to be careful. She appreciated and loved her aunt but at times she could be very overbearing.

She packed up all her gear and headed to her car. It was a modest two door Honda Civic; it wasn’t new but it got her from point a to point b with very little hassle. Utena reached her destination with 15 minutes to spare. She hastily parked her car and ran into her home, rushing her greetings so she could jump into the shower.

“Utena hurry, the foods going to get cold!” Yurika called after Utena, who was ascending the stairs.

She rushed her shower and changed into a comfortable pair of black jeans, and a grey jersey t-shirt. She was glad she had decided to cut her hair. The short Pixie style was easy to manage and she didn’t have to worry about it taking too long to dry.

Her aunt and classmates had been really surprised to see the new hairstyle, and they all asked her why such a drastic change, to which she always replied, ‘I just felt like it.’ Most would drop the questions after that answer, but the truth was that she wanted to separate herself from the past. Cutting her hair was one of the quickest ways to change an aspect of herself that didn’t exist during her time at Ohtori.

She joined her aunt and her aunt’s fiancé for dinner. They mainly chatted about preparation for the wedding, but towards the end, her aunt mentioned moving closer to her future husbands’ job. Her aunt had talked about the proposed move a few months back, and Utena, had already started looking into apartments. She was going to miss nights like this, with her aunt and had mixed feelings about the move at first.

The time with her aunt now felt short, but she was happy for the next chapter in her life.

The move would be easy, especially since her aunt’s fiancé had found a business partner that was willing to rent her a room for a much cheaper price. The one-bedroom apartment was ideal and it was close to her college. 

Utena finished her dinner and offered to wash all the dishes. Once she finished, she returned to the dinner table.

“Hey Auntie, I’m going out for a few, I might sleepover at Katie’s.”

Yurika raised a questioning eyebrow at her niece, “Again? You sure her parents are ok with that?”

“Her parents are hardly home; they are always out on business trips. She’s usually alone, I’m just going to keep her company.”

The older woman gazed at her niece suspiciously, before yielding reluctantly, “Fine, but _be_ _careful_ ,” Utena gave her aunt a hug and started for the door, “and text me once you get there, young lady!”

“I will,” She said while walking to the door. “You two have fun.”

**

Utena arrived at her friend’s house and quickly realized that finding a parking spot on the block was going to be impossible. Katie had mentioned having a few friends over, but by the sound of the blaring music and excitedly loud chattering, it had turned into an all-out party.

She ventured into the backyard after she had found a parking spot and was quickly greeted by Clay who handed her a shot.

“Took you long enough, we thought you wouldn’t show, it’s time to play catch up.” He cheered her cup and both of them took their shots. “Woo! That’s some good shit!” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and leaned closer to her ear, eyes darting around the backyard making sure no one was paying attention. “Ed’s been trailing your girl like a lovesick puppy; you better take care of that.”

“Girl? What girl—” She started curiously but was interrupted when she felt Clay flick her forehead playfully.

“ _Oh_ , my bad” He grinned mischievously, “I forgot you have like 20!” He laughed boisterously, and slapped her shoulder approvingly.

She blushed lightly feeling a bit embarrassed from the stares they were receiving from the crowd but the moment passed and she laughed with him, “Stop kidding around, you know I don’t have a girl.” _Not officially anyway_. She had trouble being serious with anyone, especially since she still struggled with her panic attacks and anxieties. Which had a number of triggers, and she didn’t feel like sharing that with every hook-up she met. 

“Don’t let Aurora hear you say that, I heard she’s been telling _everyone_ that you two are together.” He released her, then motioned for her to follow, which she did without protest.

“I don’t know why she thinks that, I haven’t given her any reasons to.” She weaved in and out of the crowd while following Clay to the table with all the alcohol.

He looked over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes questioningly at her, “You sure?” He turned his face back to the table before she could answer and selected the makings for a Long Island ice tea. “I could’ve sworn you dicked her down.” She punched him on the arm in response to his comment, which only earned her a wide grin from the tall jock. “No? Hmm.” He shrugged then handed her the drink.

“I think I’d remember sleeping with one of the schools most popular girls.” _Right?_ She took a sip of her drink making a disgusted face at the taste. Clay laughed as he watched her. She rubbed the back of her neck thoughtfully. She had been drinking heavily with her friends over the last few months, and Aurora always ended up hanging out with her at the end of the night. They were friends, and Utena had helped her through a few rough patches over the years. She wondered…had they? _No, of course not, it’s just a stupid rumor._

“Tenjou!”

Her thoughts were interrupted by her teammate, Peyton, who jumped on her back.

“Peyton her drink!” Clay warned, but it was too late, half of the cup had been spilled. “Guess I’ll start another.” His shoulders slumped and he grumbled annoyingly.

“Make me one too, babe!” Peyton called out to her boyfriend while holding her arms around Utena’s neck, “ _So_ , you and Aurora huh?” Her voice was teasing.

“Not you too…” She sighed then eased her hold on Peyton’s thighs so her friend could climb down.

“Huh?” Peyton gave her a confused expression and waited for her to elaborate.

“She doesn’t remember!” Clay answered over his shoulder then continued making the drinks.

“What?!” Peyton’s voice was high and shrill, “No way! How?”

“Shut up Clay! It didn’t happen, I’d remember!” Utena retorted, trying to save face. She could feel heat rise to her cheeks. “You two are so annoying.”

Clay walked over to them with the drinks in hand, “ _Ah_ , come on, Utena, you know you love us.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you guys aren’t a pain.” She said teasingly as she lightly shoved Clay.

She did love the couple; they had been there for her and were some of the first friends she had when she moved to the states. Peyton a beautiful brunette, and Clay a handsome blonde; they were a charming couple.

Her eyes roamed from Clay to Peyton, “Where did you guys hear this rumor anyway?”

They both shrugged, then Peyton tilted her head slightly, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I think I heard it from…James…” She struggled to get the name out, like she didn’t believe it herself.

“Did he come to the party?” Utena asked, paying close attention to the brunette, who shook her head and shrugged her shoulders in answer. “I’m gonna go find Katie.” She started to walk to the house but Clay grabbed her arm.

“Sure, after you finish your drink, come on don’t waste it. I made it taste better.”

A huff of air escaped through her nose in minor annoyance, “ _Fine_.” She took the drink from him and made the mistake of taking a large swig. It was worse than his earlier version, and _so_ much stronger. She coughed, “You really are trying to kill me!” Clay grinned widely at the remark and chuckled as he placed his hand under the cup and lifted it up to her mouth, encouraging her to finish. She resisted at first but ultimately, she finished it.

Utena tripped over a thick rug while roaming the inside of Katies house; the effects of the alcohol already clouding her senses. Katie had been dating James, the last time she heard, so she’d be the best person to ask. She finally found Katie, tongue deep into one of the school’s baseball players. Unfortunately it wasn’t James. She debated bothering her make-out session but decided she would ask about James later. She returned to the living room and was suddenly dragged into the kitchen by one of her other teammates. She joined them in taking a few celebratory shots, making her forget all about the rumor and finding James.

A few hours into the party she found herself laying in the hammock out in the backyard. Most people had migrated their antics into the house and she would’ve normally joined them. But today she had decided to drive back home, and so had to sober up.

“Hey Utena,” A soft but familiar voice called down.

She sat up startled, she wasn’t expecting anyone to bother her and she hadn’t heard anyone approach either. One of the negative side effects of being intoxicated she supposed.

Utena smiled up at Aurora, “Hey,” She watched her hold her hands nervously behind her back. “You enjoying the party, Aurora?”

Aurora nodded at her and gave a small smile, “It’s fun, are you?”

“Yeah, I’m just trying to sober up a bit before I drive home.” Her speech was a bit slurred but she had no trouble getting her point across. “What are you doing out here?” She asked raising a curious eyebrow at her.

Aurora stepped closer to the hammock, “Can I join you?” Utena nodded then scooted to one side to make room. “It’s kinda stuffy in the house, I just needed some fresh air.” She sat down, then turned her head to meet blue eyes.

Utena looked away shyly, rubbing the back of her neck, remembering all the rumors she had been hearing while at the party. Aurora was a beautiful girl, but they were just friends and she didn’t want anything as silly as a rumor to get in the way of that. She suddenly felt Aurora lean into her and rest her head on her shoulder. She knew the awkward feeling wouldn’t go away until they had cleared the air so she cleared her throat and summoned her courage. “ _So_ , have you heard the rumor?” She felt her friend nod her head against her shoulder.

“I have, wonder when that started.” Aurora said calmly.

“Yeah, pretty messed up.” She felt Aurora wrap an arm around her own, which brought heat to Utena’s face. She couldn’t deny that she was attracted to her, but Aurora was only a friend and she had never felt this nervous around her. “Who did you come with?” She asked sheepishly, trying to change the subject.

“My sister, her boyfriend, and a few other girls from school.”

“Maybe they are looking for you? Let’s go inside.” She started to stand but was pulled back down into the hammock. The force made them lose their balance and they ended up on their backs, legs hanging over the edge of the hammock as it swayed back and forth. Aurora propped herself up on her elbow and scooted closer to Utena. Their faces hovering intimately close to one another. Utena froze in place while staring up into dark eyes, swallowing hard when she noticed a soft blush appear on Aurora' s cheeks. She felt a familiar yearning build between them, a feeling that she had only shared with one other woman, six years ago. She wasn’t sure why but something was different about Aurora, she wasn’t acting like her usual self. “Are you ok?” She asked curiously, studying the dark-haired woman. Aurora responded by holding her hand and lacing their fingers together. Utena was experiencing an odd form of déjà vu.

They watched each other for several seconds then Aurora leaned in and gave Utena a chaste kiss on the forehead. The woman then unlaced their fingers and got off of the hammock. She gave Utena a smile before she walked away, leaving the party through the homes side gate.

She sat up in the hammock staring at the side gate, feeling very bewildered, especially when the thought of Anthy Himemiya crossed her mind. She inhaled deeply and shook her head; her body felt a bit weightless. _I’m really drunk…_ and with that she laid back in the hammock for another hour before finally driving home.

**

Utena entered her room and started her night routine; she hoped her escapades had exhausted her enough to have a dreamless night. Excessively long days usually guaranteed a good night’s rest without nightmares. It was another reason why she worked out so religiously, plus her toned and strong body image sure helped with keeping her self-esteem at an all-time high.

She yawned into a stretch then jumped into bed, wrapping herself between sheets. She stared up at the ceiling habitually; it had become a ritual of sorts. It brought a sense of comfort because she could take it at face value. There were no multi-faceted layers to sift through, it was simple and unchanging, no surprises or tricks.

“Damn it…” She muttered under her breath as she felt the thoughts of her past creeping in.

She hated thinking about how easily she was manipulated into becoming someone’s pawn. She was so naïve and stupid; her ideals were so deluded back then.

The walls of Ohtori enticed so many misguided souls into its depths, swallowing them whole and trapping them within its labyrinth.

It was a manifestation straight from hell, and its puppet-masters were worse than any description of Lucifer himself. Sure, Himemiya was treated just as poorly as the other lost souls of Ohtori, but she willingly shepherd her and who knows how many countless others straight to her monster of a brother. With promises of power, and miracles, _what a joke_ she chuckled cynically to herself.

_But I fell for it…fell for her…_

She pushed her thoughts aside, an action that she could now perform with minimal effort. The past would not define her, she refused to let it. Those demons were out of her life and every year was becoming easier. The feelings would lose their hold on her and turn into nothing but a withered memory. 

_They'll fade and I’ll finally be free._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Just a random fun fact but I chose the name 'Sophia' for her ex-girlfriend because Astragalus Earth Backgammon by J.A. Seazer was stuck in my head for days while writing this chapter. The track had been made for the show but got cut in the end.


	3. Fated Reunion

Her vision lazily watched the path ahead while the sound of music played in her ears, drowning out the world around her. She pushed her body harder, trying to pick up the pace.

Her recent morning jogs at the park had suddenly gone from relaxing to riddled with unease. It felt like someone’s persistent gaze was burning a hole into her back, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t outrun them. _It’s nothing,_ she continually reassured herself.

The twelfth-year anniversary of her tragic ordeal had been earlier that week, just around the time she felt like someone had started following her around. She decided that her crappy mood and anxieties were only because of that date and the memories attached to it.

At the request of her aunt she had started carrying a knife on her run’s years ago. It seemed unnecessary then, but now, it brought a sense of comfort.

Utena slowed down to a light jog and took in long deep breaths, exhaling them slowly. The end of her run was fast approaching and she always ended them with an all-out sprint. She checked her watch feeling a bit irritable, it read 9:30 A.M.

A reluctant sigh escaped her lips; while her pervasive thoughts continued to plague her mind, making concentration difficult. She stopped and stretched nervously, trying to prepare herself for the most rigorous part of her morning routine. “Come on, get it together,” she muttered to herself.

This day had started all wrong: first her alarm didn’t go off, then she burned her breakfast, _and_ she almost collided against another car while pulling out of her parking spot. Fate wasn’t on her side this morning, but she was determined to turn her luck around and enjoy her days off.

The firehouse and kinesiotherapy clinic would have to fend for themselves while she was gone.

Utena refocused on the road ahead and started off slowly, gradually picking up speed with every step that made contact with the dirt track. A few pedestrians blocked the path ahead; fortunately, they were standing far enough apart that she was able to weave through them with relative ease. She finally made it to the pavement and lengthened her stride.

The path became very crowded but it didn’t stop her; not until a man stepped directly in front of her and she had to sidestep in order to avoid charging him at full speed.

Regrettably, she lost her balance and accidentally bumped into someone to her left. A cold substance saturated her clothes and it forced an uncharacteristically loud yelp from her mouth, “Damn, that’s cold!” She removed the headphones from her ears then looked at her shirt and realized that she was covered in shaved ice. _Who eats shaved ice so—oh crap!_ She finally focused on the woman she had bumped into; the impact had dropped her to the floor and she was now in a kneeling position with the rest of the shaved ice spilled on the floor next to her.

“I’m so sorry, here let me help you.” Utena offered apologetically; as she stood behind the stranger. Her eyes studied the woman's attire, she was wearing a grey form-fitting sweater dress, and black knee-high boots. It seemed like an odd choice for the park, but it fit the cooler fall season.

Utena stepped in front of the stranger and outstretched her hand; she tried to catch a glimpse of the woman's face but it was downcast to the ground. She felt the warmth of the woman’s hand as she wrapped it gently around her own. Utena hoisted her up in one clean pull.

“Thank you.” The woman said gratefully.

Utena narrowed her eyes in slight recollection, _that voice, its…_ Her eyes widened in surprise when the woman’s emerald gaze finally locked onto hers. This couldn’t possibly be who she thought it was, her eyes had to be deceiving her.

And as if on que, the universe erased all her doubts via the sound of disappointed squeaks coming from a little purple monkey. The little marmoset let out a few plaintive ‘chu’s,’ while trying to scoop up the spilled ice back into the cup.

Utena could feel her heartbeat race, and the air escape from her lungs. A mixture of relief, joy, resentment, and sadness mingled within her.

_Himemiya…_

“Utena,” Anthy Himemiya said in a soft caressing tone.

Himemiya smiled at her and she could see there was something different in that expression. No, it wasn’t just her smile it was her whole demeaner. Her luscious purple tresses flowed freely with the calm breeze and her green eyes were now genuinely brimming with what she could only describe as happiness.

She was frozen in place, still trying to process her conflicting and pent-up emotions. The emotions she tried so hard to conceal and forget; yet here they were trying to force their way through her defenses.

She clenched her jaw, pulling her hand away from Himemiya’s and pushing past her. Unexpressed words struggled against the now thinning wall of her resolve, threatening to break through. Luckily, she was no longer as impulsive as she was back in Ohtori, and could hold back the onrush of misguided affection she held for her former roommate. She needed to get away from her; for her own sake.

 _Why was she here?_ It was a stupid question; she knew _exactly_ why the Rose Bride had come.

Single-minded footsteps led her deeper into the park, where the trees were closer together, and erased the view of the city. She couldn’t face her, not now.

“Utena! Please wait!”

 _Utena?_ She furrowed her eyebrows as she realized that Himemiya had dropped the ‘Miss’ all together. Her name sounded so foreign coming from that woman’s lips. She felt a small pull at her heart.

_No, I hate you…you hurt me…_

Utena sped up, placing her hands into the pockets of her shorts. She could hear the Rose Bride breathing in short gasps behind her as she jogged to catch up. Her home wasn’t but a mere 10 minutes from her current location, but she didn’t want to lead Himemiya to her front door.

Out of spite she waited for her ex-roommate to catch up before she started running, she didn’t think Himemiya would follow then.

“Please wait! Utena!” Anthy yelled before attempting to run after her.

“You have the wrong person!” She answered without looking back.

“I would recognize my prince anywhere!” The sentence almost made her falter. Utena wanted to turn around and look her dead in the eye and tell her that prince died twelve years ago.

She gritted her teeth, why is she still holding on to those stupid ideals? It’s been 12 years, and they are not middle schoolers anymore, not that she was even sure that Himemiya ever was a student. She shoved the headphones back into her ears, and picked up speed. She knew Himemiya was more than capable of reading and deciphering her body language and heeding the warning.

After leaving the park and running down a few random streets, Utena looked over her shoulder; she sighed with relief after noticing that Himemiya was nowhere in sight.

She strolled calmly back to her car, and then drove home, trying her best not to dwell on the morning’s events, but she knew they would invade her mind sooner or later.

By the time she had showered and ate, the clock struck 1:00 P.M.

She was planning on just staying at home and relaxing; but after what had just occurred her mind was running rampant. The walls around the apartment felt like they were slowly closing in and she couldn't take the sight of them any longer.

Utena changed into a long-sleeve navy-blue shirt, and black jeans. She then stepped up to her apartment door, reaching for the coatrack to remove the black beanie and bomber jacket that hung from it, before exiting the apartment.

She drove out to a secluded and forested hill, that over-looked a beach. She had accidentally stumbled upon it a few months ago while enjoying one of her night-drives. She was fairly certain that no one would bother her here since the road up the hill was narrow and not well-maintained.

Utena stepped up to the cliffside and sat down on the ledge, letting her legs dangle precariously over the edge. The soothing sound of nature and the ocean in the distance helped relax her nerves, her shoulders slacked and her jaw untighten for the first time in the last few hours.

To her dismay her tranquil trip out to one of her favorite “secret” hideouts was interrupted. She could feel someone watching her. The feeling was unmistakable, the person who had been stalking her for the last few days had been Anthy Himemiya.

She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance and took a calming breath before looking over her shoulder.

Himemiya stood about five feet away, Utena noticed that she was wearing her trade-mark poker face: serious, distant, and unreadable. She decided that she liked that look better, it was easier to see her as the Witch or Rose Bride.

Himemiya still wore the same outfit as earlier, the only addition was a thin black cardigan. Utena wouldn’t admit it to herself, but she thought Himemiya looked nice out of her school uniform and Rose Bride gown.

She turned her attention back to the ocean in the distance, she knew better then to keep running. If the Rose Bride could find her in such a secluded place, she could find her anywhere. She _was_ a supernatural witch after all.

Anthy broke the silence first, “Are you not afraid, sitting so close to the edge?”

“There are worse things to fear.” She answered flatly.

“That’s true,” Anthy took a cautious step forward, and then, when she noticed Utena didn’t react, she slowly made her way over to the cliff, stopping about a foot away from the other woman.

Utena swallowed hard, Himemiya’s proximity was stirring up her locked-up emotions once again. She hated that the Rose Bride still held power over her; why wasn’t she over this?

Anthy smiled, “This is a pretty view.” She said with a tinge of excitement while gazing at the ocean in the distance.

The sound of genuine emotion and expression sounded so odd coming from Himemiya. Utena couldn’t help but steal a quick glance at her, just to make sure it was truly Himemiya who was standing next to her. “Yeah, it’s nice,” she fidgeted with the zipper on her jacket, she could feel herself becoming restless.

“What do you want?” Utena asked casually, trying to sound uninterested.

Anthy eyed her through her peripheral, “I…” she started quietly, searching for the right words to say. “Thank you, for saving me.”

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, trying to appear like the woman’s words were unimportant to her. “I didn’t save you.”

Anthy shook her head in disagreement, “That’s not true, you are the reason why I’m here now. Utena…I know what you went through was—”

“Stop!” She interrupted letting some anger seep into her words, “I’m over it, and we are not friends…so don’t.” She stood up and glowered at her, she could no longer hold back the resentment towards her. All the anger and frustration from the past returned full force. She still wasn’t over it, she hadn’t worked through it; instead she had bottled it all up, letting it simmer and now it was boiling over.

How could Himemiya think everything was going to be ok, after all the shit she put her through?

She didn’t care that the woman in front of her seemed different, she wasn’t going to fall for her enchantments ever again.

Anthy’s expression was full of shock and dismay, she started to reach her hand towards Utena as if to comfort her; but stopped and let it drop to her side.

Himemiya’s crestfallen appearance made her heart ache, _she deserves it! She betrayed me..._ She tried to convince herself.

Utena’s thoughts reluctantly traveled back to Ohtori, she thought about all the horrible things the woman in front of her had to endure at the hands of her own brother. She knew she wasn’t being fair, that Himemiya had also suffered but seeing her here was stirring up nothing but negative emotions.

She managed to compose herself, allowing her eyes to soften into a neutral expression. She wasn’t in the mood to argue so she decided to focus on the fact that all her tribulations hadn’t been in vain. “I’m glad that you got out of that hell-hole...that you’re free.”

A cold breeze passed between them and the temperature started dropping dramatically due to the setting of the sun. She watched the Rose Bride wrap her arms around herself and shiver, the light cardigan wasn’t doing her any favors in this weather.

Utena almost instinctively offered her jacket up but managed to stop herself. She distracted her nerves by looking up into the grey sky and then felt a drop of water hit her forehead, the clouds would burst at any moment now. “The rain is coming, it’s not safe traveling down this road while its slick, you should get back to your car.” She started walking back to the small dirt trail that would lead her to the main road and to her Civic. As she walked, she could hear Himemiya’s soft foot-falls behind her.

She could feel her hackles rise as she felt Himemiya’s gaze on her back. Tension was building between them and she could barely keep a handle on herself. Something buried deep within her mind was telling her to yell and scream at the witch behind her. To enact revenge for all the horrible things she had done. It was so odd, she thought she was passed all this. A part of her just wanted to forgive her, and spend time with her but that other voice drowned that thought out. She could feel a headache building, she needed to do something about the silence. “When did you learn how to drive?” It was an innocent enough question, and it would end the awkward silence between them.

“Years ago, even before we met. It’s quite an easy skill to master. What about you, Utena?” Anthy answered almost eagerly.

Utena stifled a chuckle by clearing her throat, it was odd hearing the former Rose Bride divulge information with more than the use of three words. Guess this world had changed her, _or it’s all a ruse to lead me back into another trap._ She pursed her lips inwardly, tasting the bitterness of that realization. This could all be another trick, she shook her head and then sped up her pace. She couldn’t trust Himemiya, she had to ignore her misguided emotions, especially the annoying ache in her stupid heart.

She watched the road appear in front of her, and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. The only car parked nearby was her own. “Where’s your car?”

“I don’t have one.”

She faced the purple haired woman with a bewildered expression, “But you said you drove here.”

“No, you only asked if I could drive, and I can.”

Utena walked over to the driver’s side of her car, annoyed at Himemiya’s answer. She opened the door to her vehicle. “So what? Did you fly here on your magic broom?” She smirked as she finished her sarcastic remark.

“Brooms aren’t necessary,” Anthy gave her an almost mischievous grin.

Himemiya’s grin sent a jolt of excited nervousness through her. Was she being serious? Was she trying to lighten the mood between them? This all felt so weird.

The rain slowly started to come down around them, she watched Himemiya rub her arms in an attempt to keep herself warm. _So, she can fly but this weather is too much?_ She combed her fingers through her hair, trying to hold back the next question stuck in her throat but it escaped, regardless of her efforts.

“Do you want a ride?” She asked against her better judgment, sighing as she watched Himemiya making her way over. “I’m gonna regret this…” She muttered under her breath.

It took them approximately 45 minutes to reach Himemiya’s home. Her home was situated between a quiet suburban neighborhood. Nothing about the house screamed ‘supernatural’ or ‘witch’; the house was unequivocally mundane.

Himemiya hesitated in her seat, nervously fidgeting with the hem of her dress while her green eyes peered out the passenger window.

“Utena…I’m sorry…”

“Himemiya I already told you, I—”

“Please, just listen!” Anthy turned to face Utena, her demeaner full of dejection. “I’m sorry for being so cruel…for using you, tricking you and hurting you…” Her voice was wary.

Utena could hear the trembling in the woman’s voice, everything about her apology seemed genuine but a part of her just couldn’t accept it. She turned her gaze to the windshield, watching the raindrops trickle down the glass as her fingers wrapped themselves tighter around the steering wheel.

“I understand if you hate me…” Anthy continued, her voice more composed, “but…I want to make it up to you. I want us to start over and be _true_ friends. I was too broken and lost to appreciate what you were offering me then and…I miss you.” She emphasized the last three words tenderly, reaching towards Utena’s clenched fist around the steering wheel.

Utena flinched, surprised to feel Himemiya’s hand softly glide over hers. She looked down at her knuckles, noticing she was death gripping the steering wheel. She allowed her fingers to relax, she didn’t understand why the conversation was making her feel so enraged. Himemiya was here apologizing and trying to make amends. Regardless, she could feel an internal voice scream negative and violent things, she pushed it aside and tried to focus on sealing them away. She had come too far to revert back and allow those negative thoughts to take over again. But that didn’t mean she was going to be stupid enough to take Himemiya’s words as facts.

_Still…it feels nice to have her here…_

“I don’t know if that’s possible, Himemiya…” She said then slowly pulled her hands into her lap and leaned back against the seat, eyes focusing on the roof of her car.

“So…you do hate me,” Anthy turned to face the passenger door and reached for the handle, “I’ll just go then.” Anthy opened the door and its hinges creaked.

The sound of the creak from the door pulled her attention back to Himemiya, “Is Chu-Chu ok?” She blurted out, instantly feeling embarrassed.

Anthy turned to look at Utena, “Yes.” She said and continued to step out of the car.

Utena quickly exited the vehicle, “Umm…can I see him?”

Himemiya nodded and gave her a small smile before disappearing into her home.

She waited patiently in the car. The rain had slowed down to a light drizzle. _Good, my drive home should be a breeze now._ She heard a light tapping on her window, and noticed Himemiya waiting with Chu-Chu on her shoulder.

She decided to just roll down the window instead of stepping out of the vehicle. “Hey little guy.”

Anthy leaned closer to the window so that Utena could have a better look at Chu-Chu.

Utena reached to pet the marmoset’s head but was greeted with a bite.

“Ow! Hey!” Utena jerked her hand away and started to massage her now swelling finger, “What was that for?” She watched the monkey huff as he turned away from her.

“Chu-Chu, be nice,” Anthy said sternly before smiling apologetically at Utena, “I think he’s still a bit upset from earlier.”

“Earlier?” She thought back, then remembered she had accidentally spilled his shaved ice. “I’m sorry about that Chu-Chu. Why don’t I buy you another desert?” She smiled after watching the monkey’s tail wave excitedly. He turned to face her and chirped happily.

“Ok its settled then.” She checked her watch, “It’s a bit late today, are you two free tomorrow?” She felt a soft blush cover her cheeks when she noticed Himemiya’s gentle smile. Her emerald gaze was entrancing and Utena could feel a faint warning echo in the back of her mind, but she ignored it.

* * *

Utena looked out the window, observing anyone who walked in and out of her immediate line of sight. Her fingers drummed in a light rhythmic pattern on the table.

She felt Chu-Chu brush up against her drumming fingers and smiled as she turned to scratch the top of his head. “Don’t bite me, ok? I’m being nice.” He leaned into her touch obviously enjoying the attention.

“How is your finger?” Anthy asked from across the table.

“It’s still attached, so good I guess.” She held her hand up and wiggled her index finger to show proof.

Anthy gave her an acknowledging nod then smiled, “I’m glad.”

Utena scratched the back of her head as silence crept back in between them. She wondered if she was the only one feeling a bit out of place. She straightened herself out in the booth, relieved to see the waiter coming over with their deserts.

She looked at the four deserts spread on the table; she had let Chu-Chu pick out whatever he wanted. The small monkey had eagerly pointed at an ice cream sundae, a chocolate chip ice cream sandwich, and a chocolate dipped banana. Anthy took hold of the small tiramisu cake, no doubt to protect it from the gluttonous marmoset, who had already jumped head first into the sundae.

“We sure it’s a good idea to give him all that?” Utena gave Himemiya an uneasy expression, “He won’t get sick?”

Anthy giggled, “He’ll be fine, don’t worry. You’ve seen him in action before.” She took a small spoonful of her desert and offered it to Utena. “Would you like some?”

She shook her head no, “Thanks, but I’m ok.”

Other than the short awkward moments of silence, Utena was enjoying her time out with Himemiya. The rage from last night had passed and she felt so much better today. She thought of how bad her anger was in the first few months of her recovery. She used to say such horrible things to her classmates, teachers and once to her aunt; it was like she couldn’t control it. Like something inside her was constantly enraged and nothing she did calmed it. The doctors said it was due to her trauma, and that she needed to learn to work through it. Lucky for her, the move to the states had somehow helped resolve the issue. The inexplicable hostility had been silent for the last couple of years, but she felt it return last night and could barely hold it at bay. _Guess I still have a lot of work to do._

They finished up at the deserts shop and were now walking through the small outdoor shopping center in town. Chu-Chu sat contently on Utena’s shoulder, happy and satisfied about being compensated for the shaved ice incident.

They browsed a few random shops before ending up at a small park. Utena handed Chu-Chu back to Himemiya after noticing he seemed uncomfortable and nauseous.

Anthy sat on one of the benches while Utena stood to the left of her, trying not to stand too close.

“So, how do you like this world?” Utena asked as she placed her hands into her jean pockets and watched two birds hop around some tree branches.

“It took some getting used to,” Anthy turned to face her, “I had to get comfortable with crowds, and dealing with people in general.” She took Chu-Chu from her shoulder and cradled him gently in her palm, using her pointer finger to rub his now aching belly. “But it’s easier now.”

“That’s good.” Utena thought about the past 12 years, and how she struggled when she first returned. She wondered if things had been just as difficult for Himemiya.

“Utena?”

She glanced over at Himemiya who was now on her feet and standing surprisingly close to her. She swallowed nervously, “Umm…Yeah?”

“Thank you, for today. Chu-Chu and I have been having a great time.”

“Sure…no problem, I did owe him an apology.” She rubbed the back of her neck as a light blush appeared on her face.

“Of course, and he appreciates it. Don’t you Chu-Chu?” Anthy held him up towards her. He nodded his head in agreement then yawned.

Utena patted his head gently, “Guess he’s tired, it probably is a good time to head home now.”

**

Utena entered her apartment holding her abdomen in pain, she recognized the familiar agony as soon as it appeared a mere seconds before entering her home. She changed into comfortable clothing then laid down on her bed. She settled onto her side then brought her knees up to her chest, trying to add pressure to her abdomen.

She didn’t understand why these so called “phantom pains” as the doctors described them, had reappeared along with her unusual anger. She clenched her teeth when she felt a second sharp pain shoot to her shoulder then calf.

_Could this be connected to Himemiya?_

She grabbed the pain killers from her night stand and took two pills, sleeping was going to be difficult without its aid.

Thirty minutes passed and the pills effects kicked in, allowing her to relax. She sprawled out on the bed and found a comfortable position; she was exhausted and knew that sleep would come now that the pain had subsided. She stared blankly at the ceiling, hoping the pain and anger were the only thing coming back to haunt her.

*

_The sky above was dark and filled with ominous clouds, they hover menacingly over the ruined remains of Ohtori Academy._

_Utena opens her eyes lifting her head slowly off the hard floor, she tried to take in her surroundings while struggling to prop herself up to a sitting position. Unable to focus, she decides to stand and rub her eyes, restoring her vision. Her heart tightens at the familiar sight of hundreds of yellow body chalk outlines that are painted all over the floor. She looks away and busies her eyes with exploring the buildings around her. Most of them have been leveled, all except for the one housing the planetarium which is about 100 yards in front of her._

_She realizes that she is back in her old school uniform and that her soul sword is on the ground shattered into pieces. She takes a step forward but then stops when red roses start to sprout from the inside of the chalk outlines. The roses quickly surround her, then as quickly as they appeared, they slowly start to decay and excrete a dark crimson substance, that escapes the outlines and inches slowly towards her. She attempts to get out of the way but her body doesn’t respond._

_The overwhelming scent of decaying roses makes her stomach churn and she instantly become nauseous. She closes her eyes trying to dull out one of her senses from the sensory overload she is experiencing._

_The approaching sound of heels meeting concrete reluctantly pried her eyes open. Utena watched a figure wearing a black hooded cloak, walk towards her. The woman slowly closed the distance between them, and Utena could hear vicious threats echoing through Ohtori’s empty and broken-down hallways. Each insult was then followed by a piercing or burning sensation on her flesh. She screamed out in pain when she noticed the blades of multiple swords protruding out of her body._

_She wanted to let her body fall to the ground but something held her upright. Her strength depleted and her head lolled forward so she could only watch the dark red liquid consume her shoes and bubble beneath her._

_The woman's figure finally stopped directly in front of her, and Utena felt soft fingers lift her chin up then caresses her cheek tenderly. Her eyes widened with disbelief as she realized it was Himemiya._

_“Please…help me…” Utena begged then coughed, and some blood splattered onto the witch’s black dress. She studied Himemiya’s serious expression, her hope was soon replaced by fear when she watched a malicious grin spread across the witch’s lips. “Anthy…please…”_

_“Foolish hero, you still don’t know, do you?” She leans in closer, their faces almost touching. “I’m the reason for all your suffering.” Utena’s head dropped forward when the witch released her face and walked out of sight._

_She shakily struggles to lifts her head up and notices another figure approaching from the planetarium; but her vision is blurring and she couldn’t discern any details from it. Goosebumps erupt from her body as she feels Himemiya’s warm breath on her ear._

_“You’ll never be free.”_

_A searing affliction teared at her lower back, as sharp steal once again pierced through the flesh that had once been claimed by the witch, 12 years ago._

“No!” She jolted up to a sitting position, it took her a second to realize she was back in her room. The nausea and pain still lingered from her nightmare.

_Was this a warning?_

She shook her head in denial, _no it couldn’t be, they were just nightmares._

Utena left her bedroom and rummaged her fridge for water. She quickly chugged down a full glass but she could barely keep her hands from shaking. Water wasn’t helping her, so she walked over to the cabinet with all the alcohol. She hastily selected the closest bottle to her and poured herself a large shot from it.

Her fingers held the cup tightly while it sat on the kitchen counter. Alcohol had become a crutch for her pain; it never failed to take the edge off during some of her worst flashbacks. The only issue was that she had very little self-restraint once she got started, and it had become a minor addiction in the past.

She stared intently at the cup then her eyes glazed over and she shot back the drink, hoping it would be enough to get her through the night.


	4. Liquor and Swords

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but working on placing the final touches on Ch.5

Utena had spent the next few days avoiding everyone, including Himemiya. She just didn’t feel like talking and to top it all off her nightmares had returned at full force. Giving her very little time to rest, which only soured her mood further. She didn’t want to burden anyone with her problems so she just waited for the worst of it to pass.

Unfortunately, that left a lot of time for her to think about Ohtori, which made her unbalanced emotions worse. She started to think about Himemiya and if she was the reason why her nightmares and phantom pains had resurfaced. Was it really a good idea to let the Rose Bride back into her life?

She finally couldn’t stand the sight of her apartment walls and she drove out to the beach. The sun had settled high in the sky, warming up her skin while she watched the waves crashing on the sand. The fall weather wasn’t ideal for the beach, which suited her just fine. She still wasn’t in the mood to be around other human beings. She relished the serenity of an empty beach, and let her thoughts drift out with the tide.

By the time she lazily dragged her feet towards her car; the sun had long set behind the horizon and her limbs were frigid from the cold. She was dreading the drive back to her house, and wanted another distraction, anything to keep her from ending up home alone.

Her prayers were answered with the ring of her cellphone. She stepped into her car and checked the caller I.D. it read ‘Peyton,’ She picked it up, “Hello…good, uh huh…No! Course I didn’t forget. I’m on my way now…ok bye.” With all the new chaos in her life, she had completely forgotten about one of her best friends’ birthdays. She cursed her scatterbrained thoughts.

***

She drove erratically through the highway, it was already 10 P.M. The detour back to her house was quick; but getting ready and retrieving Peyton’s gift took longer than expected. She had already missed the dinner. Fortunately, she would still make it to the night club in order to celebrate. She just hoped her friend wouldn’t be _too_ upset.

She quickly found parking and made her way into the club; she had no trouble finding Peyton’s rowdy group in the V.I.P. section.

Clay rushed up to her and embraced her in a tight bear hug, “Fucking Tenjou! Always late to the party!” She felt some of her joints pop and she tried to pry her way out of his arms, but that just made him crush her a little tighter before finally releasing her.

She stretched her back, recovering from the friendly attack, “Damn Clay, you trying to end me?” That question earned her a playful slap on the back.

“I barely touched you! You getting brittle in your old age?” He winked teasingly at her then ruffled her short pink hair.

“Hey! Hey! Hands off, I just styled it.” She protested but he ignored her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, leading her to the middle of the V.I.P. crowd.

The group who had come out to celebrate was larger than she had expected. She greeted the ones she recognized and was introduced to countless others. Some were friends’ new spouses, while others were work friends and family members of Peyton. By the time she sat down, she had been given three shots and a mixed drink. Her friends shot-gunned alcohol like they were training for a world class competition. Sure, it wasn’t the healthiest hobby but she always had a great time, even if she ended up with a hang over the next morning. This setting always brought back fond memories of her early college years.

She gave the birthday girl her present after receiving a short ass chewing about missing dinner and being a better friend. But Peyton had always been very forgiving, so her anger lasted all of five minutes.

Most of the group decided then, to go to the dance floor. She followed excitedly, happy to have a distraction.

By the time she returned to the V.I.P. table, she had danced for well over an hour, with Peyton, who at the moment still didn’t show any signs of slowing down. She sat down on one of the small couches. She unbuttoned the top three buttons of her black dress shirt and then used her hand to fan her face. She heard approaching footsteps and looked up to notice one of Peyton’s co-workers walking towards her. The woman was wearing a tight formfitting mauve colored dress, the hem of it stopped at mid-thigh revealing shapely feminine legs. She straightened herself out, then looked to the left trying to pretend she hadn’t been caught staring. She never did master a tactful way of checking out women. It also didn’t help that Clay and all her other friends indulged themselves shamelessly while they went out together. It inadvertently, forced her to pick up on their bad habits. Not one of her prouder moments, but she couldn’t help but enjoy the feminine form.

“Looks like you need a drink.” The woman held out one of the two drinks in her hands.

Utena turned to face the woman, taking the drink while trying to recall the strangers name but her mind drew a blank. “Yeah, Peyton tired me out. She’s merciless on the dance floor.” The woman nodded in agreement then gave her a very suggestive smile before sitting to her left.

“Peyton does have a lot of energy, not sure how Clay keeps up with her.” The woman crossed her legs and leaned them slightly closer to Utena.

She busied herself with the drink, taking a sip and acting oblivious to the woman’s small advances. She knew better then to get involved with any of her close friends’ co-workers. If it ended badly, Peyton would be the one dealing with the backlash. Plus, the return of Anthy Himemiya complicated things and she needed to stay focused in order to avoid any problems. She didn’t have time for a fling.

“Utena.”

The sound of her name brought her back from her thoughts, she glanced over at the stranger and smiled politely.

“It’s a pretty name,” The brunette continued, her voice tinted with flirtatious undertones, she was very intoxicated.

Utena wondered if the woman was actually attracted to her, or if it was just the alcohol talking, “Thanks, um…I don’t think I caught your name.” She made sure to keep her tone friendly.

“ _Aw_ , guess I didn’t make a strong first impression,” The woman rested her elbow on the back of the black faux leather sofa and reached over to play with the back of Utena’s short hair.

The pink haired woman flinched slightly at the touch but decided there was no real harm in it, so she allowed it to continue.

“I’m Layla, it’s nice to meet you _again_ , Utena.” Layla swirled her tongue in a circular motion around the straw of her drink before closing her mouth around it and taking a sip. She made sure that Utena had watched every second of her display.

She cleared her throat feeling a tinge of heat rise to her face after watching Layla play with the straw, she turned her attention back to the dance floor before continuing the conversation. “Sorry about that, Layla, I’m a bit buzzed and I’m bad with names so don’t take it personally.” It wasn’t a lie, she was really bad with remembering names. She always thought she had more brawn then brains, which got her into her fair share of trouble.

Layla’s voice dropped its friendly pretense and took on a more seductive tone, “I won’t, especially since _you_ are going to make it up to me.” A mischievous grin spread across Layla’s features when she noticed Utena raise an inquisitive eyebrow at her.

Utena’s eyes focused on her drink for a second before she took another sip, she then felt Layla lean into her. Utena turned to face her, knowing exactly what she wanted. _Maybe it could be fun_. It would help keep her distracted from other things. Her eyes veered towards her friends who were still enjoying themselves on the dance floor. She decided then, to lean into Layla and press their lips together.

As the kiss intensified, Utena noticed she was just going through the motions. Nothing about the interaction felt genuine or exciting. Layla was attractive and definitely the type she would normally pursue—no strings attached—yet, she wasn’t enjoying herself, not like she usually would. Her mind kept getting sidetracked, so she ended the kiss and focused her eyes on the center table.

She swirled the contents of her glass thoughtfully, while Layla leaned into her again, pressing her lips to her neck. She allowed Layla to continue, but her attention was suddenly drawn over to the dance floor.

“Let’s go dance.” Utena announced, breaking the odd tension building between them. She quickly finished her drink and placed the empty cup on the table. She then stood up and extended her hand out to Layla. Knowing she wouldn’t refuse.

She gave the brunette a friendly grin, once their hands were interlaced and she led them to the dance floor. She locked onto Peyton and the rest of the party, making quick work of the crowd in their way. She stopped next to Clay, who welcomed her back. He quickly caught on to her body language and gave her a knowing look and a grin.

“Hey Layla!” He stepped between them and started talking about random topics. Utena was happy that her friend had her back. He was like a brother to her and would always step in to stop unwanted advances from men or women alike.

Peyton hip checked her when she approached, “You never change do you?”

She shrugged in an attempt to feign innocence, “ _What_? _I_ didn’t do anything, I swear.”

“Mmmhmm, sure. I’m telling you now, you should avoid that one like the plague.” Peyton took a sip of her drink then smiled at her boyfriend as he returned triumphant from his battle with Layla, who had retreated back to the V.I.P table.

“Target neutralized!” He flexed both of his biceps and puffed up his chest, the jock persona never leaving him, even after graduation.

“Disaster averted, nice work soldier.” Utena saluted him then offered a fist bump, which he gladly reciprocated.

Peyton sighed unamused, “You two are such boys.” She turned her full attention to Utena, “And _you,_ Karma’s coming, and you’re going to fall for the wrong girl.”

Utena stuck her tongue out at Peyton, who responded by shoving her playfully. Utena chuckled in return, “Aw, come on Peyton, don’t jinx me like that.”

The rest of the party continued on without a hitch, they drank, danced and laughed until the lights came on, indicating that the club was closed. The groups merriment continued out onto the parking lot, while Utena helped Clay carry his intoxicated girlfriend back to the car.

“Thanks bud, she is a hassle when she’s this trashed.” He closed the door to the passenger side of the black car before facing her.

She smiled, “No problem, I had a great time.”

Clay placed a hand on her shoulder, “We have to hangout more often, we miss you dude. Stop being a stranger.” He squeezed her shoulder a little _too_ tight, which she knew to indicate that he was stressing a point. She felt bad about keeping them at arm’s length, but it was easier then admitting she was having issues. They had helped her through countless problems, especially when her emotions or memories got the better of her and she hated making them worry.

“I will Clay,” She placed her hand over his, which was still resting on her shoulder. “I promise.”

He smiled, then reeled her into a strong hug, “I’ll hold you to that, Utena.” With that he released her, then started walking to the driver’s side of the vehicle. “You good to drive?”

She scoffed offendedly, “Come on Clay, I barely touched a drink tonight. Do I look like a light weight?” She puffed up her chest then crossed her arms over it.

“Ok, ok, my bad,” He raised his hands up in playful surrender, “If you’re up for it, we might have Mimosas in the afternoon to cure the hang over, you are more than welcome to come. We’ll be up by twelve.”

“I’ll see if I can make it,” She waved goodbye and he waved back before getting into the car and driving out of the parking lot. Utena abruptly turned towards her car making her vision hazy, she steadied herself, feeling the effects of the alcohol more strongly now that she was out of the club. Slowly she made her way to the car, stumbling a bit before finally reaching the passenger door and leaning her shoulder up against it for support. She reached into her pocket and fumbled with the keys until she finally got the door open. 

She slammed the car door, then turned on the engine and started for the road. A part of her knew she shouldn’t be driving, but her high spirits and drunk mind threw logic out the window. It’s not like it was the first time she had made a reckless decision.

Utena rolled down the windows and felt the cold breeze brush against her skin, it felt amazing. She had forgotten how much fun her friends were and was glad that Peyton and Clay had kept in touch even after college. She cared about them very much, they were an extension of her family.

She swerved over the painted median line separating traffic and it took her a second to register what was happening. Luckily, it was three in the morning and there were hardly any cars on the road. She added pressure to the gas pedal, something told her to go faster, the feeling was making her feel alive, so she didn’t fight it. She was confident that she wouldn’t crash, and even if she did, she had managed to survive being impaled by thousands of swords. If that didn’t kill her, she doubted a minor fender bender would.

The civic steadily climbed to 80 miles per hour on the road; she took the offramp that would lead her up the beach cliffside. She still wanted to avoid her apartment at all costs.

She eased on the gas pedal when she approached the first few tight turns. But her confidence grew with each turn and she hit the gas; the thrill of the drive was exhilarating.

While coming up to one of the last steep turns, she miscalculated the curve and her car started to drift, losing control. She watched as her car skidded towards the edge, she closed her eyes bracing for the impact against the guard rail.

The vehicle suddenly jerked back away from the cliffs edge and the momentum made the seatbelt slam harshly against her chest. The car finally came to an abrupt stop, a few feet away from the guard rail and she instantly felt an ache on her neck from the whiplash. “ _Uhh_ …fuck my neck.” She groaned while unclicking her seatbelt and slouching lazily into the seat trying to stop her vision from spinning.

Unexpectedly, the driver’s door swung open and she felt something rip her out of her seat. She was suddenly flat on her back and staring up at the starry sky. The motion had made her extremely nauseous; she was still very drunk.

“What’s wrong with you?!” Anthy’s tone was fueled with anger and concern.

She was surprised to hear Himemiya yell, but her adrenaline and inebriated state found the situation more amusing then dangerous, “Nothin’…just having fun.” Utena’s words were a bit slurred. She sat up and turned to look at the other woman, who was standing next to the Honda Civic.

“You could’ve been hurt.” It was obvious that Anthy was trying to regain her composure and speak in an even tone.

Utena clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes, “Like you care!” But she obviously did, she had just saved her. She stood up and started walking back to the driver’s side of the car.

Anthy stepped in front of her, stopping her from moving any further. “You can’t drive.”

“Let me through, I’m fine.” She tried to go around Himemiya, who pressed a hand against her chest and pushed her back lightly. “Himemiya, let me through.” She said impatiently, her eyes hardened while staring into the woman’s emerald gaze.

“Like I said, you can’t drive.” Anthy was stern and unmoving.

Utena closed her eyes tightly then let out an exasperated sigh, “ _Move_ , _now_.” She emphasized her words coldly, showing that her patience was waning while glowering down at Himemiya who was a few inches shorter then her.

“I’ll drive you home, end of discussion.” Anthy turned her back to Utena and was about to step into the car when Utena gripped her shoulder and turned her back around, pushing her back up against the car. Anger was pulsing in every inch of her body. She wasn’t going to take orders from the women who betrayed her. She glared into Himemiya’s eyes, watching the Rose Bride shift uncomfortably against her grip. It was then that Utena realized that she enjoyed watching Anthy struggle, it made her feel powerful.

\- “Hurt her!”- She heard in the depths of her mind.

\- “Do it! She deserves it! She’s a witch!”- Utena dropped her gaze to the ground as her vision became blurry.

\- “You know you want to! So, punish her!”- _No! That’s not what I want._ Was she hearing things? Was she finally losing it?

\- “Weakling!”-

Or did she want this? Did she actually want to make the witch pay for all she had done?

Utena was starting to feel numb, like she was losing control of her body. She felt her fingers twitch, struggling with the idea of wrapping her hands around the Rose Brides throat. The more she struggled against the thoughts the louder the voices grew inside her head. Soon she felt like all her senses were failing her, she couldn't hear her surroundings or feel her fingers around Himemiya's shoulders. None of this felt right, she needed to regain control but the voices insistent yelling was making it impossible to think.

Suddenly she found herself slamming her fist into the car, the force was strong enough to leave a small dent mere inches from Himemiya's face. Pain quickly spread up into her arm and managed to knock her out of her stupor. Utena looked at Himemiya and noticed the sheer fear in her eyes; it was the last thing she saw before the darkness of unconsciousness enveloped her.


	5. Storm Front

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***A characters past rape experience will be mentioned, nothing explicit***

_Utena found herself in a strange land, one that surely didn’t exist in the present. Yet, there in front of her, perched at the base of a tall proud mountain, stood a bustling city, encased by large stone walls that casted shadows around the area it protected. It reminded her of the old structure’s kingdoms used to build, in order to keep invading armies out of their territories. Back when castles only had to worry about battling rams or unreliable canons from breaking down their gates._

_The sound of a speeding carriage startled her away from her observations and she braced herself for the full impact of the horses, but they passed straight through her, like she was nothing more than an apparition. She stood stock-still, trying to comprehend what had just happened; her eyes watching the plume of smoke rising behind the carriage as it moved over the dirt road._

_She swallowed hard and finally managed to get her body to turn back towards the city. She decided then to get a closer look and hopefully figure out what was going on._

_Her senses were immediately overwhelmed when she breached the town gates. There was a mass amount of people going about their busy day. Many haggling prices from small shops lining the streets, or standing in small crowds talking about trade routes and prosperity in the city. The men dawned dhoti’s, while the women were adorned in saris of vibrant colors that seemed to fill the city with life. It was a lively city with a rustic charm, and traditions of long ago._

_A group of soldiers turned onto the street and marched steadily, the crowds parted to let them through, keeping their distance from the patrolling soldiers. They held an air of authority while carrying scimitar style blades, and shields._

_Utena noticed that the soldiers were walking up the path and towards the beautiful palace a head. She wasn’t sure why but she felt a strange pull towards its direction._

_She had no better leads and had quickly come to realize that no one could see or hear her, so why not break into a palace? She lengthened her stride and walked quietly behind the precession of soldiers._

_As they walked, the larger looming structures of the haveli cast a shadow down on the path, providing brief reprieve from the blistering heat. She couldn’t remember the last time it had ever been so hot; it was unbearable._

_She ditched the soldiers once she had entered the palace, slowly and cautiously making her way through its vast corridors. Large columns lined the halls and entry ways. The walls were adorned in beautifully complicated designs that stretched the entire length of the halls. The whole palace looked like a festival of colors that brought life to every surface inside. Everything was saturated with complementing colors of gold, reds, and oranges and She was completely captivated by its beauty. It was like nothing she had ever seen before._

_While roaming aimlessly through the palace she found herself in a large open space, that appeared to be a ballroom._

_She noticed a tall man standing in the center of the room, his back to her. He was wearing an Angarkha, which proved his status as a member of the royal court. The man turned around and she froze, a cold sweat quickly covering her body, while her hands trembled. There standing a few feet away, was Akio, or at least it looked very similar to him. She studied him further, and decided that there was definitely something different about the man in front of her._

_She watched his eyes dart warily around his surroundings before finally exiting the room. His actions were careful and vigilant, as if he was trying to avoid running into anyone else. It was suspicious behavior and she couldn’t think of a reason why a member of the royal court would be sneaking around the grounds._

_It figured that even here, Akio would be up to something._

_She managed to get a grip on her nerves and followed him at a distance, no longer sure of her invisibility._

_She was led through various corridors, twists and turns that she was sure she would never be able to find her way out of. The palace was starting to feel like an immense labyrinth._

_Akio, or at least the man that looked like Akio, finally stopped in front of a door and knocked politely, twice. Utena could hear a woman’s voice call out from the other side, and he looked around cautiously once again, before making his way inside. She quickly ran over and tried to grab the handle but her hand went straight through it. ‘Oh, right…’ She frowned, scolding herself for forgetting about her current ghost state. She decided then to try and walk through the door, closing her eyes a second before she thought she’d hit her face._

_Luckily, everything worked out and she found herself on the other side of the door. She quietly crept to the edge of the hallway and looked into the immense room. Watching Akio step up to a beautiful woman, wearing an extravagant violet purple Sari._

_“Akshant, you cannot be here long. My father will be here soon, we can’t be seen together.”_

_“I know…but I just had to see you.” Akio reached up and tenderly cupped the woman’s cheek. She didn’t flinch or cower away, but instead leaned into the touch. A sad expression lingered on her face as she reached up to place her hand on Akio’s._

_Utena watched intently, was this Akio, or not? She was feeling even more confused than when she had arrived, but pushed those thoughts aside and focused on the events unfolding before her._

_“This will be the last time we see each other, I will be married off by the end of the week, for the sake of our kingdom.”_

_“My offer still stands; we can run away and—” Akio’s sentence was cut off, by the soft touch of the woman’s fingers to his lips._

_“I cannot betray my kingdom; this is what is expected of me. We knew from the very beginning our love was only ever meant to be a fleeting moment in time. A moment where we were able to enjoy our own selfish desires. But I have a duty, a status and a weight that I must carry out with. No matter how much I long to sneak into dark night with you at my side. We were never meant to be, we are from two different worlds…I’m sorry.”_

_Akio’s eyes stayed in a widened stare. Tears welled at the corners and only silence could be heard as the tears finally rolled down his cheek. His eyes casted to the ground, while his shoulders fell disappointedly and he just nodded at her. He stood still for a few seconds, as if waiting for her to reconsider, but she didn’t and he reluctantly turned away and started for the door._

_Utena quickly scrambled out of the hallway, and he stopped next to her, his knuckles clenching so tightly that she could see them turn white. Utena watched Akio’s entire body language change before her, the atmosphere filling with a heavy weight, which made his presence feel darker and foreboding. His eyes held a quiet anger that she was very familiar with. This was the Akio of her nightmares. This is the Akio she knew all too well._

_Akio took the last final steps out of the room, and the door closed quietly behind him._

_She stood there feeling perplexed, but the sound of someone crying brought her out of her torpor._

_The woman in the room was now sitting on the large bed, crying into her hands. Utena found it hard not to feel bad for her, and wanted to console her. But knew she couldn’t, so she disappeared back out of the room._

_She almost “bumped” into a group of young women, who hurriedly stepped down the corridor._

_“Come on we have to hurry!”_

_“Can she really see the future?”_

_“She hasn’t been wrong once, and maybe we’ll get to see her brother!”_

_“Akshant is so handsome!”_

_Could they be talking about Anthy? Utena quickly fell into step behind the women, who led her to a gorgeous courtyard. Decorated with tall green trees, multiple marble fountains and all kinds of colorful vibrant flowers._

_She stopped at the edge of one of the rose bushes and watched numerous women gather around the biggest fountain, situated in the center of the courtyard. Her blue eyes tried to see through the crowd, but she had no luck and had to move around to the left of the fountain._

_All the women were happily giggling, talking about trivial things, while mainly paying attention to someone sitting on the edge of the fountain. They were all having a great time, even the older women who were seated on benches a few feet away, watching the younger girls form an entourage around the fountain._

_Utena stopped in her tracks when she was finally able to see the young woman being overwhelmed by the others. She was wrapped in an elegant red and gold Sari. The hints of gold complimented her dark toffee like skin and the vibrant red contrasted against her soft features, making her beauty all the more captivating. She was happily smiling at everyone, while waving an apologetic hand in front of her._

_Everything about her looked so different, all except for her thick vivacious purple hair that was now cascading down the full length of her body in beautiful soft curls._

_It was Anthy, and yet it wasn’t. She had a different air about her, one Utena had never seen before._

_“I’m sorry, but I’m not doing any more readings today.” Anthy said her voice held a hint of sympathy as she addressed the women._

_“Please Amara, just do a few!”_

_“Yes, please!” The women said in unison, but Anthy shook her head, staying stern. All the women made disappointed noises and most of them walked away to continue their day._

_Anthy let out a breath of relief and then turned her attention to the fountain where she trailed her fingers tips gently into the water below._

_An older woman wearing a royal purple Sari stood up and stopped next to Anthy, “The morning crowd drained you?” She asked, with a large and kind smile on her face._

_Anthy turned to face the woman and smiled, “Yes, very much. I need some time to relax, before doing anymore readings.”_

_“It’s both a gift and a curse.” The woman said before sitting next to Anthy._

_“I suppose it is, but it has brought good fortune.”_

_“Yes, it has. Our kingdom owes its prosperity to you and your brother’s divine gifts. You two are a blessing, we’re glad your travels brought you here.” The woman placed a hand on Anthy’s shoulder and squeezed it tenderly, before standing up and walking away. The remaining women around the fountain followed suit behind her; leaving Anthy alone._

_Utena absentmindedly took a step forward, and suddenly Anthy’s eyes focused in her direction. She swallowed hard and stood still, her breath caught in her lungs._

_She stared into green eyes, and realized that she didn’t recognize them. They were brimming with warmth, and ambition, like everything was fine in the world and she was truly happy. Utena felt her heart tighten with longing._

_She took a step forward, hoping Anthy could see her, but as soon as she took her third step Anthy stood up and started walking back towards one of the closest corridors._

_Utena made to follow but her legs gave out from under her. Her surroundings suddenly changed and now the once beautiful palace walls were lit up with hues of orange and red flames that crawled up the walls, destroying all the fine details that she had admired so much when she first arrived._

_Her eyes darted around frantically and she caught sight of people trying to find their way out of the once pristine structure._

_She tried to stand but her legs wouldn’t work and she was doubled over in pain._

_The grinding sound of metal clashing against metal rang loudly in her ears, and she could feel her flesh being severed from the bone._

_It wasn’t long before the screams, fire, and metal, encased her in a never-ending loop of agony, that slowly plunged her into darkness._

_*_

Utena suddenly found herself hitting the floor, only making the pounding headache beat harder against her skull.

Her eyes lazily fluttered open and she quickly recognized that she was in Clay’s house. _How the hell—_

Clay’s heavy footsteps caught her attention, and she glanced over at him, while attempting to sit up.

He quickly helped Utena to her feet and put her back on the couch. “You ok?” His worried eyes searched every inch of her, looking for any signs of further injury.

Utena leaned back into the couch letting her head loll back, she stared into the ceiling. “I’m ok, just hung over as fuck…” She started to remember fragments of the vision she had just experienced, but they soon fell away when she felt a pang of pain shoot up her arm. She looked over to her right and noticed that Clay was checking her hand.

“What did you fight, a fucking _wall_?” He asked confused, while examining the bruises and dried blood on her knuckles.

The thoughts of the night before vaguely rolled through her mind; reminding her of the voices and about how close she had been to hurting Himemiya. But, she couldn’t explain that to him without sounding completely insane, so she thought up a lie. “I fell, that’s all.”

Clay gently placed her hand down, then scratched the top of his head, “Hmm…ok if you say so.” He muttered dubiously.

“Oh good, you’re up.” Peyton intruded, walking over with medical supplies in hand, swiftly making her way to the couch and carelessly taking Utena’s hand.

“Ow! Hey, its fine I don’t—” Utena’s face scrunched up with displeasure when Peyton dabbed a cloth with antiseptic over her knuckles.

“Stop being such a baby, you’ve had sprained ankles worse than this. How the hell did this happen anyways?”

“I fell—” Utena’s jaw abruptly shut, when Peyton gave her a warning glance, letting her know she didn’t believe that bullshit story. She looked out towards the window and watched the sunrays reflect into the room while she decided on what to say next. “Honestly…I don’t remember. I can’t even remember how I got here.”

Peyton started wrapping a bandage around Utena’s knuckles, “That girl brought you…what was her name…” She tapped her index finger thoughtfully on her chin.

“Anthy,” Clay chimed in almost eagerly, eyes following his girlfriends movenments.

“That’s it, Anthy.” Peyton stopped suddenly, her eyes narrowing suspiciously at her boyfriend. “Hmm…I’m surprised you remembered her name; did she make an impression on you?” Her voice was challenging, like she was daring him to say something stupid.

Clay hid a small blush on his face by walking towards the kitchen, “ _No_ , her name was just unique, so it was easy to remember.”

Peyton turned her attention back to Utena, who was watching the couple’s interaction with an amused smile. “Who is she? I’ve never seen her before.”

Her mind scrambled for a simple explanation, one that wouldn’t bring up any more unwanted questions. “She’s just a friend…wait so she dropped me off?”

Peyton eyed her, unconvinced, “Yeah, she dropped you off. She said you two were hanging out but that you were too drunk to drive home and she didn’t want to leave you unsupervised.”

 _Unsupervised?_ Her brow furrowed in annoyance. She didn’t like being thought of as a helpless child. But she was glad that Himemiya didn’t divulge any further details about the night before.

Peyton picked up all the medical supplies and stood up from the couch, “You should thank her, I know how much of a pain in the ass you can be when you’re drunk.” She stepped out of the living room and entered the kitchen with Clay.

Utena could hear them talking about starting lunch, which told her she had been unconscious for several hours. She wondered how long it took Himemiya to bring her to Clay’s and how she managed to stop her car from veering off the side of the cliff. Was she following her around? It would be the only explanation that made any sense. But how?

All these questions rattled in her brain, along with the crazy dream she had just had. It felt like she was back in Ohtori, struggling to decipher between what was real and fantasy. She took in a deep breath and tried to focus on what she could control. Which included staying as far away from Anthy Himemiya as possible. Sure, she was grateful that Himemiya had saved her life, but being around her was starting to take a toll, both physically and mentally. Her nightmares had resurfaced, along with the pain and their return could all be traced back to the Witch’s arrival.

Utena sat quietly on the couch with her thoughts until Peyton came back to the living room and convinced her to stay for lunch. All three of them stuck to idle chat, but Utena soon found herself deflecting multiple questions about Anthy and the incident. It had obviously been Peyton’s plan all along, her friend really needed to stop watching all those detective shows.

Fortunately, Clay, came to her rescue and pushed the conversation in a completely different direction. Allowing Utena to finally makeup an excuse to leave. She thanked her friends for everything, said her goodbyes, and eventually made her way over to her car.

Her fingers glided over the small fist sized dent on the vehicle, bringing the memory of the voices rushing back, along with the feelings she held in that moment. The anger had almost taken over, and she had been on the verge of truly hurting Himemiya. Was that really what she wanted…? No, of course not, she convinced herself, it was just the alcohol. She shook the thoughts away and entered the Civic.

The drive home started off like any other, until she moved onto the highway and noticed a car tailgating her. She wasn’t in the mood for this so she moved over to the right lane. Leaving the car plenty of space to pass her and move along. Regrettably, it did just the opposite and ended up behind her once again.

Utena gripped the steering wheel, feeling a tinge of irritation that mingled with nerves. _What’s your problem?_ She applied more pressure to the gas and tried to lose the car by weaving in and out of traffic. The car behind her mimicked every movements flawlessly, like it knew exactly what she’d do next.

Anxiety quickly crept up and she was starting to hesitate with every passing move. She had no plan; all she was doing was jumping lanes and trying to hide behind traffic.

She squeezed the Honda between two cars in the furthest left lane on the highway, using the other cars as a shield. She took the chance to calm her harsh breathing and look at the car that was chasing her.

It kept its distance, and she was unable to see the driver, because of the tinted windows. She focused then on the car itself; it was all black, missing the front license plate and looked very expensive. The car in front of her changed onto the right line, slowing down traffic while it tried to move onto the third lane, giving her a clear route forward. She took the chance, and slammed the gas pedal, making the Honda’s motor roar as it sped up.

Utena watched the next off ramp slowly creeping up, she needed to get in front of all the traffic to make a clean break. The Honda hit 100 miles per hour and she swerved the wheel to the right, narrowly missing a big rig before exiting the highway.

The brakes screeched loudly to a halt when she came up to the red light at the end of the off ramp. Adrenaline still coursed rapidly through her veins, she was so tense that she hadn’t noticed the light finally turn green, forcing her to stay for another full cycle.

The trip home took over an hour, mainly because she was driving way under the speed limit. She couldn’t help it; the ordeal had racked her nerves and she could hardly think straight. What was that? Why was that car chasing after her?

She parked the Honda into her designated spot, and slumped into the car seat, finally able to relax. An exasperated sigh escaped her lips. This was the last thing she needed, why couldn’t the universe ever give her a break? She stayed in the car until her nerves allowed her to exit, making her way slowly up the stairs.

Once inside she threw herself on the bed and tried to clear her mind, she felt exhausted, and didn’t want to think about a damn thing.

Utena groaned annoyingly at the sound of her cell phone buzzing on the night stand. She reached over and grabbed it, half expecting it to be her friend, Peyton. Her hunch was wrong, the text wasn’t from Peyton or anyone she knew, for that matter. She clicked on the text from the unknown number.

 **Unknown number:** _Utena Tenjou?_

She wondered who could be texting her, but decided there was only one way to find out so she texted back and got a reply in seconds.

 **Unknown number:** _It’s Juri Arisugawa._

Juri? She hadn’t heard or seen her since Ohtori, she wondered why she was reaching out now.

_Hey, it’s been awhile..._

**Juri:** _12 years, can you meet me?_

_Sure._

**Juri:** _Good, I’ll text you the address tomorrow morning._

_***_

Utena had driven a total of two hours by the time she arrived at the address that Juri had texted her. She had been wary of coming out this far, especially since she didn’t tell anyone she was coming here. But she was so shocked and almost relieved at hearing from Juri. She mainly came to confirm that Juri had indeed escaped Othori and if any of the others made it out with her. She stopped the Civic in front of the gated home, peering at the black gate, studying the expensive and intricate designs, until it opened up for her to continue. She parked her car near the front of the extravagant home and exited the Honda.

A burly man in a black suite waved her over to the front door, and she followed his instructions without delay. He ushered her into the home and led her to a large living room. The home was beautiful, everything was decorated in the latest fashions and designs. She hadn’t expected anything less from Juri Arisugawa.

“Welcome.” Juri’s voice rang out from behind Utena, who turned around to face her.

“Hey…” Was all that Utena was able to utter, while Juri studied her intently. That stare reminded her about the way Juri looked at her at Ohtori, and how nervous she would get around her. That wasn’t to say she wasn’t feeling nervous now, but she had learned to control her outward expressions and could stand calmly under Juri’s intense stare.

Juri stood elegantly, her shoulders squared and spine erect. Utena wasn’t sure how but Juri had become even more intimidating with age.

Juri gave her a confident smirk, “Please, make yourself at home.” She gestured for Utena to take a seat on one of the couches as she walked over to a liquor cabinet. “Would you like a drink?”

Utena sat on the couch and watched her warily, this all felt odd, and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. “I think I’m ok.”

Juri shrugged casually, “Suit yourself,” and continued to choose through her selection of bottles. She returned to the living room and sat herself on the couch across from Utena. “I’m going to cut to the chase, up until yesterday I had very little recollections of you and the not so mundane events at Ohtori.” She took a sip of her drink, then placed it on the coffee table situated between the two couches.

“So, you had memory loss?” Utena eyed her curiously, she had no idea that Ohtori had affected others in a similar way as her. Guess its influence was greater than she had first realized.

“I suppose, in a way, yes.” Juri leaned back into the couch extending both of her arms across the top of it. An air of reverence encased her, and she sat there confidently.

It made Utena’s uneasiness grow, she hadn’t been around this woman in over a decade and she had no idea what her end game was. She had once thought of Juri as a friend but life had made her a less trusting person. “What do you remember and do you know if you were the only one to escape?”

“Plenty, I remember being part of the student council, being part of the duels, the Rose Bride and the Chairman.” She emphasized the ‘chairman’ with a tinge of bitterness, and leaned forward to retrieve her drink. No doubt, trying to wash down the thought of him. “Most of the student council graduated and left Ohtori, but that’s about as far as I know. I have kept in touch with Miki Kaoru, and I plan on reaching out to him soon, to see if he also regained his memories…but for now, I’d like you to enlighten me on what happened during the last duel.” Juri’s eyes focused on Utena, urging her to elaborate on the story.

Utena swallowed hard, her throat now dry, and unwilling to help her explain away her past. “I think I’ll take you up on that drink now.” She said hoarsely, hoping the liquor would help her get through the next hour or so of conversation.

Juri readily prepared Utena a drink, before returning to her seat and listening to her side of the story.

Utena hadn’t intended to reveal everything, but Juri had a way of prying it out of her. She was highly skilled at picking up subtle que’s that gave Utena away. The only details she didn’t manage to get out of Utena were her dreams and recurring pain.

Once Utena finished, Juri revealed everything that had happened to her, providing Utena with details she wasn’t privy to in the past.

“Hm, so the Rose Bride did escape her palace.” Juri swooped some of her curls over her shoulder and stared off into a nearby window. Drink hovering idly near her lips. “I wouldn’t trust her, if I were you.”

Utena glanced up at Juri, who had turned back around and started taking a sip of her drink, “Don’t worry, I learned my lesson after the first stabbing.”

And in that moment Juri practically spit out her drink, and stared at Utena with amused shock. Utena smirked, bringing the drink up to her lips and taking a sip. Giving Juri a second to compose herself.

Utena started bouncing her leg, while her eyes stared blankly at the ice melting within her cup. She was feeling a bit exposed now, and she still wasn’t any closer to understanding what this meeting was all about. Did Juri just invite her so they could reminisce on their fucked-up school experience? She doubted it. “Why did you invite me here?”

Juri turned to face her, “Isn’t it obvious?” Utena shrugged and shook her head, making Juri chuckle, “Somethings never change, do they?” She gave Utena a disapproving once over, like she used to back at Othori whenever she felt like she was missing important information.

Utena ignored the condescendingly playful tone and once over, motioning for Juri to continue.

“Something’s coming, and I have a feeling that we will be caught in the middle of it all, just like we were back at Ohtori.”

***

Utena arrived at her apartment and let her body drop, face first, onto her mattress. Juri’s impromptu invitation left her feeling worse than the hangover the night before. Ohtori and all its troubles were once again at the forefront of her mind, threatening to break through the last sliver of sanity she was holding onto.

Juri had shared that she had been noticing strangers following her around, and that most of them were wearing black duelist style uniforms. She also told Utena that she doubted her encounter on the highway was random, and that she should start keeping a better eye on her surroundings. Juri had even gone to the trouble of handing her one of her specialized swords and a small firearm.

Utena knew better then to ignore her warning and had gladly taken the rectangular hard case, safely housing the two weapons.

The new information and old memories racked her brain viciously and she could feel her frustrations bubble up; so many questions were still left unanswered. She wanted closure, and an explanation for the odd events unfolding.

Unfortunatley, the only person that could provide them was Anthy Himemiya.

***

Utena parked her car in front of Himemiya’s home. She stared up at the door for a few minutes, trying to compose her feelings and thoughts. She took one last calming breath and exited the car.

Her mind quickly placed warnings in her head, making her second guess her decision. Was this really a good idea? Himemiya had literally stabbed her in the back, could she really be sure she wouldn’t do it again?

The desire for answers managed to win over logic and she finally arrived at the door with a knock.

Anthy opened the door and smiled, “Utena, I hope you are feeling better.”

She slid her hands into her pockets and looked towards the ground, she was having a hard time looking directly at the woman in front of her.

But she wasn’t the least bit surprised that the Rose Bride seemed unaffected by the things that had transpired a few nights ago. “Hey Himemiya, can we talk?” She finally uttered quietly.

The door creaked as Anthy opened it up wider, “Sure, come in.” She left the door ajar and disappeared deeper into the home.

Utena glanced up into the house and hesitated for a second, what if this was a trap?

She steeled her nerves and finally pushed her legs through the door, closing it gently behind her.

The house was fairly large, it had three bedrooms and an office. The kitchen was open and had an island dividing it from the dining room.

Utena followed the sound of porcelain gliding over a countertop in the kitchen and stumbled upon Himemiya preparing tea.

The domestic nature of Himemiya’s actions shot Utena back to the past and all those nights they had spent in their room drinking tea. It made her feel sick.

The ill feeling in the pit of her stomach guided her away from the kitchen and into the living room. Where she roamed around, checking for anything and everything that seemed important. Or that would provide her with clues about the duelists clad in black.

Once satisfied that there were no clues or traps, she let her vision gloss over the multitude of plants lining the far wall. She was relieved to see there were no roses.

Utena was distracted from her observations when she felt something climbing up her pants leg. She looked down to find an excited Chu-Chu rushing up to greet her. The marmoset perched on her shoulder and gave her neck a hug.

She reached up to pet him. “Hey Chu-Chu.” He wiggled his tail in response to her attention then climbed to the top of her head. She smiled at his antics; the little monkey always helped her feel at ease.

“He missed you.”

Himemiya’s voice brought Utena’s eyes to the dining room. “Yeah, I can tell.” She reached up to her head and picked Chu-Chu up into her hands, where he clambered around her arm and then settled back on her shoulder.

Anthy started walking back to the kitchen, “The tea is ready, come sit.”

They sat down at the table; Utena took the seat across from Himemiya and busied herself by stirring the silver spoon in her tea. Her blue eyes wandered to Chu-Chu after a few quiet minutes and she watched him place sugar into his small matching teacup. She thought of several different ways to approach the pending subject, but found that she was having trouble placing any plan into action. _This was a lot easier said than done._

Utena took a sip of the tea, “Thanks for the tea, its good.” She had settled on starting with small talk, and tactfully maneuvering to the real goal, once she felt more comfortable.

“You’re welcome.” Anthy gave her a warm smile then took a sip of her own tea.

“Where do you work?” She asked still keeping her eyes more focused on the marmoset, who was now dipping a cookie into his teacup.

“Work?” Anthy watched Utena thoughtfully, then took another small sip of her drink, “I don’t have a job.”

The woman’s reply made Utena eyes glance up questioningly, “How do you pay for this house and food without a job?”

Anthy tilted her head to the left, considering Utena’s question, “Well…I have access to wealth, and don’t need to work.”

 _Access to wealth?_ Was Himeimya rich, or could she just conjure up money? She decided not to ask, and instead took a sip of her tea before reaching for one of the last cookies sitting on the table. Chu-Chu also reached for the same cookie in that same instant, forcing them into a bout of tug of war. Utena ended the tussle after coming up with a compromise, which gave each of them half of the cookie.

Anthy had watched their interaction with rapt interest while holding a hand to her mouth in an attempt to suppress her giggling.

Utena absentmindedly looked up at Anthy and smiled. The good memories of their shared past flooded her mind. _Stay focused_ , she scolded, clearing her throat and rubbing the back of her neck nervously. _It’s now or never…_

“Himemiya…” She let her voice trail off, hesitantly bringing her blue eyes to meet green. “Thank you for saving me a few nights ago…I really do appreciate it…but, how did you know I was there?”

Anthy brought the teacup up to her lips and took a slow deliberate sip, letting the cup linger there as she said, “Why were you drinking so heavily?”

Utena furrowed her eyebrows, closely watching the woman across the table. Of course, she deflected, what else was she expecting? She placed her arms across her chest, and squared her shoulders, facing Himemiya head on. “This isn’t about that; have you been following me?” She asked sternly, trying to keep control of the conversation.

Anthy’s eyes narrowed slightly, like she was contemplating her next move. Her hand stretched forward, placing the teacup back on its respective saucer; she purposefully waited for the silence to settle before continuing, “Not exactly.”

Utena’s jaw clenched in response to her reply, _she hasn’t changed…not really,_ she thought disappointedly. The hopes of having a smooth and easy going conversation were shattered, but she had come fully prepared to play this game.

The only downside to her plan was that she hadn’t exactly remembered how uncomfortable she felt under Himemiya’s cold examining gaze. She needed to keep a tight leash around her emotions or she’d lose this game...again.

Utena refocused her efforts, she wasn’t going to lose this, unlike the Ros Bride, she had changed and would not easily be dissuaded. “It’s a simple question, you either have been following me or you haven’t.” She paused for a moment then grabbed her tea and took a large sip, finally finishing it. She watched the Witch intently, waiting for her response, feeling confident that Himemiya wouldn’t be able to dodge the question.

Utena caught a glimpse of amusement on Himemiya’s face but it quickly vanished. The expression made her doubt her control, but she held her ground and gestured for the Witch to answer.

Himemiya’s lip’s parted as if to speak but an obnoxious car alarm interrupted the interrogation.

Anthy’s head turned towards the sound of the alarm, “I think you should check your car. There have been a few break-ins lately.” She advised calmly, before crossing one leg over the other.

An annoyed huff escaped through Utena’s nose as she stood up from the table and started walking to the front door. This small distraction wasn’t going to stop her from asking all the questions swimming around in her head. If anything, the inconvenience only strengthened her resolve and gave her the opportunity to take a break before moving forward.

She opened the front door and was surprised to see that her car was the one sounding the alarm. She pointed her key to it, stopping the blaring alarm by a push of button before assessing the surroundings to make sure her car was safe.

Once sure everything was fine, Utena, turned sharply on her heels and started on her way back to the dining room. Her steps stuttered when she felt a sharp pang on the back of her head. _Oh great, a headache…just what I fucking need._ She thought bitterly as she arrived back at the table.

“Your car ok?” Anthy asked with a small smile.

“It’s fine.” She muttered feeling irked, positioning herself back in the chair. Utena wasn’t sure why but the atmosphere felt different, like the room had been immersed into something dark and dreary. The change sent a warning of chills down her spine, was she imagining it?

Anthy distractedly swirled the spoon in her tea, “That’s good.”

Utena reached for the teacup in front of her and noticed that it had been refilled. She tapped its porcelain exterior with her index finger and decided then, that it might not be a good idea to continue drinking.

She was in a witch’s home after all, and you should never trust a witch. 

She massaged her temple before looking back at Himemiya, and continuing her inquisition, “How did you stop my car from falling off the cliff?”

“Your car struck something and it slowed down, that’s all.”

“That _doesn’t_ just happen, my car had no damage.” Utena blurted out, on the verge of losing her cool. However, she reeled in her emotions, by taking a deep breath and exhaling it slowly. “Stop playing this game Himemiya, I’m not that stupid middle school girl anymore. Give me straight answers.”

Anthy once again put her cup up to her lips and sipped it excruciatingly slow, watching the irritation in Utena’s face grow with every second that passed. Her calculating eyes examined every inch of her as she weighed out her options. “Fine, I’ll answer your questions, if you answer mine first.”

“No, that’s not how this works. You haven’t answered any of my questions.” Utena’s tone was coated in aggravation, her voice was louder, but she wasn’t quite yelling.

Anthy placed the teacup back on the table, the small smile still persistently glued to her lips, “I did answer your questions, _Miss_ Utena.” She placed her hands in her lap, demurely. Patiently waiting for Utena’s next move.

Utena could feel her left eyelid twitch and her fingers wrapped themselves into fists. Himemiya’s actions were throwing gasoline onto her burning frustrations and she could feel them peaking into full blown rage. None of this was fair, she just wanted answers.

The silence pushed her anger over the edge; compelling her to wrap her fingers around the table cloth and ripping it off as she stood. The force sent the teacups and kettle flying to the ground; they shattered and cracked on impact. The sound was deafening.

Anthy’s smile faltered for a second but she quickly recovered it and stood up calmly, “Don’t worry Miss Utena, I’ll clean this up.” She kneeled down and her fingers wrapped themselves delicately over the cloth. She never got the chance to stand back up, because Utena tackled her to the ground and pinned her up against the hard-wooden floor.

“Stop this!” Blue eyes bore intensely into green. “Stop acting like this is ok! Like we’re back in that shit hole with your sadistic brother! This is the real world, and I don’t play by your rules!” Her breathing was ragged and she felt no pity for the Rose Bride below. This game was over, and she would get her answers one way or another.

Utena could see the surprise and uncertainty in Himemiya’s face while she struggled to get free. The reaction quelled her anger briefly; because Anthy wasn’t hiding behind the Rose Bride façade.

Anthy turned away, staring blankly towards the living room.

Utena eased up on Himemiya’s wrists once she stopped struggling, “It isn’t fair Himemiya…” She waited for her to respond, but it never came. Instead she felt Anthy tremble and shutter underneath her. Utena suddenly recognized the distant look on Anthy’s face and guilt coursed through her, making her release the hold on her wrists. Anthy was hiding, protecting herself from her brother and all the other duelists who defiled her without a second thought. Utena quickly jumped up to her feet and took a few steps away from her, giving her space.

“Himemiya…?”

Anthy’s eyes slowly opened and she sat up wrapping her arms around her body, as if to shield herself from an impending attack. Silence crept in like a thick fog and neither of them wanted to move or speak.

The silence was only broken by the scurrying sound of Chu-Chu scrambling over to Anthy. He climbed to her shoulder, giving Utena a disapproving ‘chu’ before trying to console his friend by nuzzling into her neck.

A few agonizing minutes passed before Anthy finally raised her hand to softly pet the marmoset. “I…sometimes still feel him…I feel like I’m still stuck there. That this is all a dream and I’ll soon wake up to find I never left.” Her voice was barely over a whisper, so Utena kneeled down closer but kept a respectable distance.

“I know what you mean…I sometimes feel like that place will come and swallow me back in.” Utena looked down at the broken porcelain and occupied her restless energy by picking some of it up. The lingering thought of Juri’s warning, passed through her mind then, making that fear appear more possible with each passing day. But for now, she needed to focus on the present, she still needed answers, and wanted to know if Anthy Himemiya truly was free of Akio’s influence. “How long were you stuck there?”

“I honestly don’t know…maybe a century” She murmured, her voice trembling and eye’s filling up with tears.

 _Century…_ a century of dealing with constant pain, harassment, rape and imprisonment. Utena clenched her jaw, anger swelling in her chest again except this time it wasn’t directed at Himemiya. Instead all the anger was now focused on her own mistakes and Akio Ohtori. 

“Utena!”

The startled cry brought Utena’s attention back to Himemiya, who stared at her with concerned shock. “What’s wrong?” She asked confused.

“Your hand…” Anthy pointed down at Utena’s blood covered palm.

She unclenched her fist and dropped the jagged pieces of porcelain back to the floor. She hadn’t felt it pierce her skin at all. Even now, she knew she should feel pain but she felt nothing.

Without another word Anthy quickly stood up and came back with bandages and other medical supplies. She quickly started to tend to Utena’s wounds.

After Utena was bandaged up she helped Himemiya clean up the mess she had made. The Rose Bride had protested multiple times but ultimately, gave up and let her help. Once that was cleaned up, they retired to the living room and sat down on one of the couches, facing a blank television.

Utena fidgeted with the edge of the bandage on her wrist, staring at her reflection on the television screen. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take you back there…please know that I would never do what he did…” Her right leg started to bounce anxiously, as she continued, “I was just angry and lashed out…I—” Her words were cut short when Himemiya placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Utena turned to face her.

“I know…” Anthy said as she slid her hand off of Utena’s shoulder, “That wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know.” Anthy focused on Chu-Chu, who was sitting between them. He puffed up his chest and acted like a bodyguard, keeping an eye on Utena. It was obvious he didn’t like them fighting and wanted to protect Anthy from further harm. Anthy took in a deep breath and exhaled evenly, trying to calm her nerves. “I stopped the car…” She muttered under her breath.

Utena furrowed her eyebrows, puzzled by the statement, until she realized Himemiya was answering the question she had asked earlier. She kept her eyes trained on the blank screen, using it to look at Himemiya’s reflection. It seemed like she was telling the truth, but she needed to dig deeper, to get as much information out of her as possible. Utena waited quietly for her to continue.

Anthy’s fingers wrapped around the bottom of her white tank-top, ruffling its edge. “My abilities are most commonly known as magic.” She stopped fidgeting with her shirt and calmly rested her hands in her lap, clasping them together.

“Magic…I had a feeling.” She leaned back into the couch and let her body lazily sag into it. “That makes the events at Ohtori easier to understand.”

Over the next few hours, Anthy opened up and answered the questions Utena had asked earlier. She even talked about some of the events from Ohtori and how she played a huge role in making sure that her brothers bidding was followed through and accomplished.

All the new information brought a sense of closure to Utena but it opened up so many new wounds and destroyed memories she was once fond of. She was now leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees. Her face was downcast to the carpeted floor. Utena had become so focused on the new details that she had completely forgotten to ask about the duelists following Juri around.

It was all so much and she now knew the full extent of Akio’s atrocities. He was worse than any real or made up monster in the universe. Yet, none of that hurt as bad as the betrayal she experienced at Himemiya’s hand. She still wasn’t ready to let that go, she couldn’t, something in her wouldn’t allow it.

“I’m sorry you went through all that…” Utena said sympathetically, her eyes trained on the carpet below, unable to face Himemiya. She was fighting between her desire to embrace Himemiya and releasing all the hate trapped deep within her scars. The sting of tears welled at the edge of her eyes, but she couldn’t cry, she didn’t want to feel so vulnerable in front of the Rose Bride. So, she stood up making sure to keep her eyes averted from the woman sitting next to her. “I’m going to go, have a good night, Himemiya…”

Anthy made no attempt to stop Utena, and instead just watched her walk out through the door and disappear into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So I am giving Anthy and Akio a bit of a backstory that will be explored further in later chapters. 
> 
> **Just an FYI: The meaning of Akshant is the person who always wants to win, and The meaning of Amara is everlasting or eternal.


	6. Reunification

Utena sat in the center of her couch, a half bottle of empty vodka perched on the coffee table in front of her. Alcohol was the only way to calm her overactive thoughts, which had been viciously devouring every second of her mind for the past week.

She had heard the whole story, all the pieces to the past now painted a clear picture, it should make her feel better but instead she felt worse. She had no idea that the whole truth would make her feel so miserable. All her choices during Ohtori were coerced, nothing was really her decision alone.

She grabbed the bottle and took a generous gulp before leaning forward and propping her elbows against her knees. She let her arms hang loosely towards the ground, swishing the contents of the bottle in her left hand. She hated wallowing in her own self-pity, especially, since she knew she wasn’t the only one who suffered at Ohtori.

 _I should’ve taken the therapist’s advice…_ she thought sarcastically. But she really should’ve taken the time to heal and recover, instead of bottling up the past and trying to forget it ever existed. Now she had to deal with it, whether she wanted to or not.

The sound of her cell phone buzzing on the kitchen counter brought her back to the present. She stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen to check her phone. The first notification was the tenth text from Peyton asking how she was doing, the second was from Juri, and the third belonged to an unknown number. She texted her friend back, knowing the notifications wouldn’t stop until she replied.

She then clicked on the message from Juri, which simply stated that they needed to link up because she had new information.

_What new info do you have?_

**Juri:** _I’ll explain more when we meet up. Are you free Thursday?_

_Yeah._

**Juri:** _Perfect, I’ll set up arrangements for us to meet at a restaurant._

_Ok, sounds good._

**Juri:** _I’ll send all the details later this week._

A resigned sigh escaped her lips while she stared lazily into the phone screen. She hoped the restaurant wasn’t anything fancy and that she could get away with wearing casual clothing. She disliked having to dress up, but had some suits and dresses just in case.

She rested her elbows on the counter top, facing her dining room. Her unfocused eyes stared at the table; while she thought about how she just wanted to forget it all, to pretend that everything was ok. But it wasn’t, and it wouldn’t be, not until the new mysteries of her life were forced into the light.

She turned back to her phone, and her finger hovered over the unknown number for a second before she pressed on it. The text was short, nothing but three simple words.

 **Unknown Number _:_** _How are you?_

She knew she hadn’t given Himemiya her number, but what did that matter when you had magic at your disposal? She bit her lower lip thoughtfully; Himemiya has supernatural abilities and could probably pick up on magic. She could help her and Juri figure out what was happening with the would-be duelists, the only issue was that she still wasn’t fully convinced Himeimya was on their side.

She made her way back to the living room, staring intently at her phone screen. The screen finally timed out and she flopped lazily back on the couch, taking another shot of the vodka before placing the bottle back on the coffee table. She waited for the stinging of the liquor to fade from her tongue before she clicked on Peyton’s number and started to form a text about hanging out. Once the message was completed, she looked it over twice. Ultimately deciding to delete it and dropping her phone on the cushion next to her.

A part of her wanted to be able to rely on her friends, to be able to open up completely and reveal all the horrors of her past. The therapists had always told her to confide in those she was close to, that it was part of healing. Still she couldn’t bring herself to unloading all that baggage on them. Maybe she could confide in Juri, but the thought of the drive convinced her against that idea.

She had dealt with the brunt of the trauma on her own, so she decided to continue that tradition and bear it alone. Her hand reached for the bottle once more and she continued to drink.

The liquor slowly made its way through her system, fogging her mental clarity long enough for her to pick up the phone and text Clay.

***

Clay arrived at her place within the hour, they were sitting on the couch, each of them with a drink in their hand.

Utena glossed over most of the dark details but asked Clay on advice concerning Himemiya and their current situation.

Clay sighed, a thoughtful look on his face, “Eesh…that’s a mess bud.” He took a small swig of his drink then turned away from the television, so he could face Utena. “How do you keep finding these girls?”

She raised a challenging eyebrow at Clay, “Like you were doing any better before Peyton.”

Clay laughed, “I guess you’re right, but that’s beside the point…maybe we can go get you baptized in holy water or something, that might help.” That statement earned him an eyeroll from Utena.

“I doubt religion will save me from this one.”

He shrugged his shoulders then leaned back into the couch, “Just drop the girl all together then, sounds like she isn’t worth the trouble.”

“Easier said than done…”

“Why? It’s not like you’re engaged to her.”

Utena chuckled cynically, before taking a sip of her drink, “Yeah…”

Clay narrowed his eyes, and raised a curious eyebrow at her, “Were you two engaged?”

“No…I mean not in the traditional sense.” She glanced over at her friend, then sighed, feeling a bit anxious at the mention of being engaged. “ _Anyways_ , let’s just say you couldn’t just drop her, what would you do in my shoes?”

“Talk.” He said matter-of-factly, “What else can you do? I mean you just admitted to not communicating with her after she told you everything. You just stormed out like a brat having a tantrum.” 

She scowled at him, feeling a bit agitated by his remark, but she couldn’t blame him. He didn’t have the whole story and he had a point. She did leave abruptly after Himemiya told her everything, but she had no better option.

Her emotions were running on high, which meant she’d probably lose it half way and just go off. Like she had earlier during their meeting.

Utena felt Clay nudge her arm, she gave him a forced half-smile.

“Just talk to her, preferably somewhere out in the open, like a park. That might help keep both of you calm.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Of course, I’m right!” He raised his drink up towards Utena, and she brought her cup up to meet his, “Cheers to easier times.”

“Cheers.”

* * *

Utena fidgeted anxiously with the collar of her dress shirt after being seated at the table, Juri had reserved. Her eyes darted around the large extravagant restaurant, taking note of all its high-class patrons wearing expensive suits, dresses or gowns. She felt a bit out of place, sitting amongst all these elitist, especially since a lot of them were giving her a disapproving once-over. No doubt due to her choice in attire, _maybe I should’ve gone with the dress_ …but she couldn’t stand the thought of having to wear heels.

The table was situated on the second floor of the restaurant overlooking the first, she was sure it had to be the V.I.P. seating.

A waiter approached the table and asked if she wanted anything to drink, she asked for water and just as the waiter left, she noticed a familiar face.

Miki Kaoru made his way over to the table and smiled cheerfully at her, “It’s nice to see you, Utena.”

She stood up to greet him, “Yeah, what a surprise, Juri didn’t mention you were coming.” She realized that he was a few inches taller then her now. His black suit fitted nicely over his now broader shoulders and most of his boyish features had disappeared, leaving a more chiseled look to his face.

“I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it, so I didn’t mention I was coming until about an hour ago.”

“When did you move to the states?”

“Oh no, I still live in Japan. I’m just here on a tour.”

“Like a music tour or—”

“Miki, Utena, glad you two could make it.” Juri interjected as she made her way to the table, wearing a stylish black evening gown. “Let’s all sit, our conversations are just getting started.”

All three of them took a seat; Miki and Utena sat side by side while Juri took the seat across from them. A waiter made his way over and she ordered wine for the table.

“We have one more person joining us tonight. So, I’ll hold off on the more important things until then, feel free to order what you like, foods on me.” Juri gestured for them to pick up the menu’s.

Miki and Utena both thanked Juri and started browsing through the menu.

“Oh, and to answer your question Utena, I am here with my orchestra. We are playing a few show’s in Los Angeles.”

“Huh, who would’ve thought us three would end up so close to each other after 12 years.” Utena mentioned while squinting uncertainly at one of the items on the menu.

“It is a funny coincidence.” Miki replied, amusedly.

“I doubt you two will see it that way for much longer.”

Both Utena and Miki put their menu’s down and gave Juri a puzzled expression.

“Who else is coming?” Utena asked after Juri refused to elaborate any further.

“You’ll find out soon enough. For now, let’s just catch up, I’m sure Miki would like to hear about what happened to you, Utena.”

A waiter stepped over to their table and took their orders, while another approached with the wine and poured each of them a glass.

Utena cleared her throat, suddenly remembering all the new details she had just received from Himemiya; should she tell Miki about her being engaged to his father? _It would only be fair, right?_

She picked up her wine and took a sip, it tasted a bit bitter and she didn’t care for it, but it was stronger than the water.

Juri’s prying eyes watched Utena, no doubt picking up on her reluctance to start. She mimicked Utena, in picking up her wine. “Guess were all learning something new tonight.”

Miki caught on to the change in atmosphere and glanced from Juri to Utena, his eyes fianlly settled on Utena, expectantly.

Their combined stares proved to be a bit too intense for her liking so she feigned great interest in the drink menu left at the center of the table. Utena fidgeted with it, but it was obvious they weren’t going to give up that easily. With a resigned sigh she placed the menu down and looked back up. “I met with Himemiya about a week ago and…she cleared somethings up…” She caught Juri give her a look of discontentment, practically saying, ‘I thought you had learned your lesson.’

“Himemiya is here? In California?” Miki’s tone was even, but Utena caught a hint of excitement in it.

“Of course, she’s here, it wouldn’t be weird enough without her.”

The group of three all turned in the direction of the voice and noticed Nanami Kiryuu strut confidently towards their table wearing an obnoxiously high-fashion red gown.

Utena was once again caught completely off-guard by their second guest, but she should’ve known it was going to be someone from Ohtori. Although, she was relieved it wasn’t Saionji or Touga; she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand being at a table with either of them.

Nanami took a seat next to Juri, and Utena couldn’t help but stare. Her hair was pinned up in a complicated up-do and she looked quite different then she had back at Ohtori. She must’ve been staring a moment too long because she noticed Nanami give her a loathing stare.

“I know my beauty is captivating, but don’t get any funny ideas, Tenjou.” Nanami raised her left hand up to reveal an engagement ring.

Utena eye’s widened slightly, feeling a bit confused and embarrassed but she shook it off, “Don’t worry, Nanami you’re not my type.” She said dismissively, leaning calmly into her chair.

An affronted expression crossed over Nanami’s face, “ _Oh_ _right,_ I forgot you only go for the girls who screw their bro—” Her comment was cut short, when Juri raised a quieting hand to her face.

Utena scowled as she looked away from the blonde, her irritation only growing when she heard Nanami huff, like she had been the one insulted. In that moment she decided that she would’ve preferred Saionji sitting with them instead of Nanami.

“We didn’t come here to argue.” Juri stated assertively.

“Can you just get on with it,” Nanami said with a tinge of irritation, “This is not the way I wanted to spend my vacation.”

Juri adjusted herself in her seat and was just about to speak, when the wait staff walked over with their appetizers. “Let’s eat first, then we’ll get into the important things.”

Their dinner was relatively civil, Utena and Nanami practically ignored each other for half of it. But warmed up after having a few more cups of wine.

Utena found out that Juri ran a private investigators group and that she was in the states helping with a lead they had on a case pertaining to one of her more influential clients. She also found out that Nanami had made a big name for herself within the fashion industry, which explained her eccentric dress.

Everyone went around talking about their Monday through Friday, and Utena felt a bit less successful then her peers. But she had worked hard to get a job within sports medicine, and she was proud of also working as a part-time firefighter.

The waiters walked by and took all their empty plates, leaving them to enjoy the rest of the wine. Everyone was more relaxed and Juri took the opportunity to start off on more serious matters.

“I gathered you all here because of our shared past. As most of you know, Utena had disappeared from Ohtori after the duel called Revolution and consequently our memories of that year and her were…” Juri paused trying to think of the right word, “Tampered with and filled with holes, until about a week ago. I’ve spoken with most of you and know that we all experienced something similar, which includes strange events following our restored memories. Miki’s received anonymous letters with Ohtori’s rose seal stating they have information on his missing sister, but refuse to give further details unless he goes back to the academy. While Nanami and I have been stocked by individuals wearing black duelist outfits and Utena was chased down the highway by an unmarked vehicle.” Juri picked up her wine and took a sip before continuing, “Not to mention the fact that we all just happened to be in the United States at the same time. From our experience at Ohtori we know this isn’t a coincidence, something is coming and we need to start preparing for it.” Juri ended her last statement with a grim edge, emphasizing its severity.

Juri had Utena explain the circumstances after the last duel and urged her to tell them what happened during her last visit with Anthy Himemiya. Utena told them most of what she had learned but kept certain parts out, especially anything that concerned any individual member of the student council. She decided she’d explain some of those details to them individually, she didn’t feel like she had the right to expose those details to everyone.

The tension at the table was palpable by the time everything was said and done. Stirring up the past wasn’t something any of them wanted to do, but if it managed to keep them ahead of the game, it would be worth it.

They all exchanged contact information and Nanami was the first to leave the restaurant after Juri had paid.

“I have an early start tomorrow, so I think I’ll be calling it a night as well.” Juri announced while standing up from her chair. “Please feel free to contact me at any time. Especially if any of you learn something new.” She walked by Miki and squeezed his shoulder, “I am looking into your sister’s disappearance, we’ll find her.” Miki nodded at her and Juri bowed her head slightly before walking away.

Utena stretched her arms up over her head, “Man…that was intense.” She said as she brought her arms back down. In a more sympathetic tone she continued, “I’m sorry to hear about Kozue.”

Miki looked over at her and attempted to smile, “I’m sure she is fine, it’s not like it’s the first time she has disappeared without letting us know.” His voice was hushed. “Anyways, I like your new haircut. I meant to mention that earlier but our conversations got a bit serious.” He gave her a more genuine smile.

“Thanks,” She grinned, running a hand through her hair “I’ve had it like this for almost eight years, kinda got tired of the long hair.”

“It suits you. Where exactly do you live? Juri mentioned you two live close to this restaurant.”

“I’m about an hour from here.” Utena paused, trying to figure out how to explain all the extra details Anthy had given her about his family.

“You ok, Utena?”

She glanced up, taking in a deep breath, “Yeah…but I have to tell you something.”

Miki was obviously shocked by the revelation of his father’s engagement to Himemiya and how he was manipulated so that the duels would continue. They talked a bit longer about Himemiya, and how even though she did all those things he couldn’t blame her completely.

At first Utena was arguing against his points but realized that Himemiya wasn’t calling all the shots. She had also been a victim in it all, but that fact still didn’t absolve her of all her wrongdoings.

They finished off on a lighter note and Miki walked her to her car. He invited her to watch one of his performances and that he could provide her with tickets for friends. She agreed to message him about her answer as soon as possible and with that they said their goodbyes.

Utena’s drive back to her apartment went relatively smooth, no car chases or odd phenomenon and for that she was grateful. She took a quick shower and laid down on her bed, mind replaying most of the day’s events and thinking about all the new information she got from her old classmates.

As of right now their situation wasn’t dire and they weren’t even one hundred percent sure that all these events were related to Ohtori. Maybe Juri was just being overly cautious, it definitely didn’t hurt but then again, she hadn’t seen the duelists in black uniforms or received any threatening letters with the rose seal. Making her experience a bit more limited compared to the others.

All she had to go off of was a car chase, and Himemiya’s return, which didn’t quite make her believe this was all connected. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking, since she really didn’t want to be pulled back into Ohtori and all its problems.

Her thoughts ran back to Himemiya and their last encounter, she seemed mournful and genuinely remorseful about her involvements. Perhaps, Clay and Miki were right and she needed to really sit down and talk with Himemiya. She could prove to be an invaluable asset, in case their situation got worse.

Utena could feel her heart tighten the more she thought about Himeimya, it was both a feeling of apprehension and wistfulness. _Why does this have to be so complicated?_

With that final thought in mind she wrapped herself in the bed sheets and turned off the light. Hoping that things would get easier with time.

* * *

“Wow, this place is so pretty!” Peyton said with wonder in her voice, “And we get to sit in an opera box! I’m so excited. Thanks for inviting us Utena!”

Utena smiled at Peyton, “Yeah, my friend really wanted us to enjoy the show as much as possible.” She peered over at Clay and noticed the unamused look on his face. Music wasn’t really his thing, but his girlfriend loved the idea and he couldn’t refuse.

“Utena!” Miki waved her down, while he made his way through the crowded concert hall lobby. “Glad you and your friends could make it, I have sometime before the start of the performance and can show you to your seats.”

Utena smiled appreciatively, “We’d like that Miki, this place is kind of a maze, oh and these are my friends, Peyton and Clay.”

“It’s nice to meet you both, please follow me.” Miki led them to an elevator and then to their seats.

“These are such great seats!” Peyton said excitedly her voice almost shrill, while peering over the edge of opera box. “I can’t wait for the performance to start.” She turned back to face the rest of the group with a large grin on her face. “Thanks for the tickets Miki.”

“Don’t mention it,” He glanced down at his watch, “I have to get going, but please enjoy the show. I’ll even treat you guys to dinner after.” Miki excused himself and left them to explore the opera box.

“I have to admit this is _kinda_ cool.” Clay said, glancing over the edge of the balcony. Then choosing one of the seats closest to the front to sit in. “So, we have this whole area to ourselves?”

Utena sat a seat over from Clay, making room for Peyton “Yup, they’ll be serving drinks too.”

Clay looked over at Utena with a grin, “That should make things more interesting.”

“You better handle your liquor Clay; I don’t want you embarrassing me.” Peyton warned, standing next to his seat. He waved a dismissive hand, which she grabbed and twisted behind the seat.

Clay winced, feeling the uncomfortable position of his arm, “Ow! Hey, ok, ok. I’ll just have three drinks tops.” Peyton released his hand once satisfied that her point had been made.

They all sat quietly once the performance started, each of them sipping on a drink, contently enjoying the orchestra play.

Miki’s piano playing was as magnificent as Utena had remembered and it sounded great with all the other instruments. She noticed that Miki looked completely and happily immersed in his music. He was doing what he loved and it showed in every flawlessly perfect key stroke.

“Your friend’s not half bad, like I’m usually not into this stuff but this is pretty good.” Clay mentioned in a hushed tone over his girlfriends head so Utena could hear.

“That’s Miki for you, he was born to play the piano.”

“I think the seats also make this more fun, oh and the drinks.” He raised his glass up, and Utena brought her’s up in a silent cheer.

“Will you two be quiet, I’m trying to enjoy this.” Peyton scholded a bit irritably, giving them both an annoyed glance.

“Calm down babe it’s not like we are being _too_ loud.” Clay watched his girlfriend give him a warning look, and he glanced over at Utena, who gestured for him to stop what he was doing before it was too late. He sighed, then chugged the rest of his drink. “I need another drink.”

“I’ll go grab them, I just finished mine.” Utena offered, standing from her seat. Clay nodded in agreement and handed her his empty glass.

Utena made her way over to the bar, placing both of the empty cups on the counter and waiting patiently for the bartender to finish off with his other orders. Her eyes danced around lazily, while her elbows rested on the counter. She caught movement approaching from her peripheral and she turned her head to get a better look.

She tilted her head slightly to the left, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration, “Kozue…” she muttered, finally realizing why the person in front of her looked so familiar. Kozue was wearing a black and gold hussar jacket; that was tailored flawlessly to her figure and adorned with matching gold epaulettes and navy-blue pants. “Kozue,” She said a bit louder, and the woman grinned wickedly in response.

“Utena, fancy meeting you here.” She said with an edge of sarcasm, placing her right hand on her hip.

A hundred questions rushed through her mind before she finally managed to say, “What—your brothers been worried, where have you been?”

“He knows where I’ve been.” Kozue mentioned matter-of-factly, turning on her heels and walking away from the bar.

“Wait, Kozue, where are you going?” Utena left her place at the bar and started after Kozue, who didn’t bother to even glance back while making her way down one of the halls.

Kozue led her through a few turns and she followed as briskly as she could without running. She didn't want to bring unwanted attention to herself and lose Kozue. They reached a more secluded area of the theater and Utena took off running when she watched Kozue disappear into a door to the right at the end of a hallway. She reached the door and slammed her palm hard against it, throwing it open. Her steps faltered at the doorway, blue eyes staring disconcertingly at the room within.

She closed her eyes for a second then reopened them, thinking it would help get rid of the nightmare driven image before her. But it didn’t, there standing at a distance was the top floor of the planetarium and within it she could see Kozue happily lounging on the white leather sofa with Wakaba laying placidly in her lap, wearing the Ohtori signature uniform.

A devilish smile tugged at Kozue’s lips, when she noticed the look of horror on Utena's face, “Come join us, Utena.”

Utena could feel her heart constrict, and panic surge through her, “Wakaba!” she yelled, but her best friend didn’t even flinch. “Kozue, you and Wakaba shouldn’t be there…please come back this way, you’ll be safe.” She pleaded.

Kozue snickered, “ _Oh_ believe me, Utena we are safe and _well taken care of._ ” Kozue’s voice was almost mockingly cheerful, she wanted to make sure Utena was as uncomfortable as possible.

Utena suddenly felt something grip the hand she was using to prop the door open. She looked up and her eyes widened with sheer terror as she looked up into dark green eyes.

“ _Well_ if it isn’t my sweet princess, finally come to your senses? You ready to be mine?” Akio’s tone was as charming as ever, “Come, we have much to discuss.”

“No! Let them go you bastard!” She struggled against his hold but it wouldn’t budge, and just when she thought she’d be pulled back into her nightmares, the door slammed shut and she was propelled back against the opposite wall from the door.

Utena coughed uncontrollably while she tried to recover from the blow to her back, she propped her forearm against the wall, trying her best not to slump onto the ground. It was then that a sudden surge of sharp pain erupted throughout her body, forcing her to her knees. She could hear soft footsteps approaching her, but couldn’t concentrate long enough to see who it was. “Please…help…” she pleaded breathlessly before the pain pierced more aggressively at her skin and forced her jaw shut. She pressed her forehead against the wall and groaned, it was becoming too much to bear, and her vision was starting to go black.

She felt cool fingers press tenderly against her cheek and could hear a voice chanting something she couldn’t quite understand. Slowly but surely, she could feel the pain start to recede, her jaw unclenched and she started to breathe evenly.. Her vision was still really hazy so she closed her eyes for a moment and waited until the pain was more bearable before reopening them.

“Him…emiya…” She whispered weakly, stubbornly attempting to stand up, but Himemiya stopped her and guided her back down.

Anthy’s eyes assessed her, searching for signs of injury, “Rest.” She said soothingly.

Utena nodded weakly and sat quietly, trying to regain her composure, “Thank...you…” She breathed in between short tremors of pain.

Himemiya gave her a warm smile, then busied herself by investigating the door across from them. Utena watched her curiously, wondering what she was doing; Himemiya placed her hand on the handle and then opened it carefully. 

The only thing that appeared on the other side was the emergency stairwell, depicted on signs all over the door. The planetarium, Kozue, Wakaba and Akio were gone.

Utena let out a relieved sigh, and then used the wall to help guide her to her feet. She caught Himemiya give her a displeased look but she ignored it, turning her gaze down the hallway and in the direction she wanted to go.

“You really shouldn’t be standing, Utena.”

“I’m ok, I don’t want to stand this close to that door anymore.”

“He won’t be able to use this door anymore.”

Utena gave Himemiya a skeptical look, “How do you know?”

“Utena!”

They both turned their attention down the hall, watching Peyton and Clay coming down to meet them.

“There you are, we were wondering where you went.” Clay said, as he stopped in front of them.

“Are you ok? You don’t look so well.” Peyton asked, stepping closer to examine Utena further.

Utena raised a dismissive hand, “I’m ok, I just bumped into Anthy and we were just talking.”

“Oh, well that’s nice. Who are you here with Anthy?”

Anthy glimpsed over at Utena then back at Peyton, “I came alone.”

“Oh, well that’s no fun, why don’t you join us? We have quite a few empty seats next to us.” Peyton offered before Utena could protest.

The group of four all walked back to the opera box and continued watching the performance. Utena sat uncomfortably in the chair, with Himemiya to her left. She was still unnerved about what had just happened and wasn’t sure how to feel about the woman sitting next to her. Regardless, she was thankful and had to admit that there was no way Himemiya would ever disobey Akio, unless she was truly free of his influence. Yet, she knew she still had to tread carefully, she didn’t know Himemiya, or what she was truly after.

By the time the performance was done, Utena had texted Juri about the encounter. Juri’s instincts had been right, and now they needed to figure out a plan. Especially now that Akio had upped the stakes by involving more of the students.

They stood out by the lobby, waiting for Miki to come out and meet them. Clay and Peyton thanked Miki one last time before taking off. Leaving the remaining three standing around a bit awkwardly.

“Miss Himemiya, it’s a pleasure to see you again.” Miki said, a bit shyly, reminding Utena of the way he acted back at Ohtori.

Himemiya smiled at him, “Miki, it’s good to see you. I loved the performance.”

A small blush appeared on his face after hearing Anthy’s compliment, “Thank you, it wasn’t our best, but glad it was enjoyable.”

“Don’t sell yourself short Miki, it was a great performance. My friends and I all loved it.” Utena felt her phone vibrate and she dug into her pocket to retrieve it. She noticed it was Juri, she excused herself, walking a few feet away before picking up the phone.

“Hey Juri, did you get my message.”

“Are you ok? How’s Miki?”

“He’s ok, but I haven’t told him anything.”

“That’s probably for the best. Is Himemiya still there?”

“Yes.”

“I think it’s time we all talk. Invite her to meet us, at my house, tonight.”

“Are you sure? We still don’t—"

“We need to know more about Ohtori and Akio, and she is the best lead we’ve got.”

Utena returned to the group, instantly receiving a curious look from Miki, while Himeimya watched her closely. Probably noticing the tension in her body language. “I know this is kind of last minute, but Juri wanted to invite all of us to her place.”

“Right now?” Miki asked uncertainly.

“Yeah, right now. We should start on the road now; it is a long drive from here.”

Utena slowly made her way over to the Honda Civic with Anthy by her side. “You sure you don’t want to go with Miki? I think his car is a bit roomier.” She stated hoping it might persuade Anthy to reconsider her decision.

“Your car suites me just fine.” Anthy said, sparing a quick glance at Utena.

“Ok, then.” She muttered, speeding up her steps, to help ease some of her restless energy. She wasn’t looking forward to this drive, but maybe she could take this time to ask Himemiya more questions about how she managed to stop her pain and Akio.

The Civic’s engine purred in the background of the silent car. They had been on the highway for no more than ten minutes, and Utena’s nerves were on edge. Making it difficult to start up any conversation with Himemiya.

The encounter with Akio was playing on her mind, and she felt stupid for falling into that trap so easily. She wondered if she had really seen Kozue and Wakaba or if it was just an illusion created to lure her to Akio. Either way it dealt a blow to her confidence and sanity. She thought Akio had no power, but then how would he have created a gateway from the music hall to Ohtori? Did he somehow manage to get the power of Dios?

Utena took in a deep breath and tried to clear her mind, she needed to focus on the questions that could be answered here and now. She glanced at Himemiya then checked all her mirrors, there were hardly any cars on the freeway, and she could see Miki’s vehicle a head. Which brought a sense of solace to their current circumstances.

“Himemiya, I thought you said your brother lost his power.”

“He did.”

“Well then how did he open a portal from Ohtori to here?”

“There are multiple ways to open a rift, he doesn’t need his power to do so.” Himemiya kept her eyes trained on the road ahead. Her demeanor was calm and collected.

“I saw Wakaba and Kozue…or at least I thought I did. But they still looked just as young as I remember them, how is that possible?”

“Ohtori is imbued in magic, it isn’t constrained by the normal passage of time. As for Kozue and Wakaba, I didn’t see them, so I can’t say for certain that it was, or wasn’t them.”

Utena’s grip tightened around the steering wheel, “So he can do that? Trap students at Ohtori?”

“It’s possible, but I doubt he’d be able to keep very many in his current state.”

“You say that like he's sick or weak...” A bright light shining on the driver's mirror distracted her, she checked the rear-view to see a car gaining on them quickly; knots formed in the pit of her stomach and didn't disappear until the car sped passed them on the left lane.

“He is.”

Utena gritted her teeth annoyingly, “Can you stop being so cryptic, or what, are you still protecting him?” She noticed Himeimya’s fingers twist into a fist, then slowly release. It was the first movement she had made since the start of their car ride, guess she finally hit sore spot.

“I’m not protecting him; he is weak because he doesn’t have my powers to keep him a float anymore.”

Silence crept back into the vehicle after that last statement and they drove for a good ten minutes, the tension gradually growing in the car.

Utena wished the drive was almost over, but they still had a good 45 minutes until they arrived at Juri’s. She decided to start up another conversation, “How did you stop my pain?”

Anthy’s body tensed up slightly, so slightly that Utena barely caught the change, “I didn’t stop it, I just deluded its effects.”

She could hear the reluctance in Himemiya’s voice, and see her hesitation. She decided prying would get her nowhere tonight so she changed the subject again.

“You never told me exactly how you escaped Ohtori.”

“I just left.”

“Was it really that simple?”

Himemiya turned to face Utena, “It was, after you opened the door.” Her tone was grateful.

Utena couldn’t help but turn to Himemiya after hearing the difference in her tone, Himemiya gave her a small smile but she didn’t return it. “What did you do after you left?”

“I traveled the world, trying to find you.”

“Why? If you really hadn’t left Ohtori in over a century, why would you waste your time looking for me?”

There was a long pause before Himemiya let out a soft sigh, “Like I told you before, I missed you and I needed to know you were ok.”

“So, you really want to start over and be…friends?”

“Yes, Utena, and I know you don’t trust me…” Himeimya's voice was full of sadness when it trailed off. She wanted to say so much more but couldn't bring herself to do it.

The sadness and disappointment in Anthy's tone was enough to make Utena feel bad for her, but not enough to put their past behind them. The years had shown her that actions will always speak louder than words, and sure Himemiya had saved her -twice now- but that wasn’t quite enough.

“Prove it Himemiya…prove it by helping us stop your brother.”

The remainder of the car ride was traveled in relative silence, Utena didn’t bother asking too many more questions, especially since she knew Juri and the others would be repeating them upon their arrival.

It was going to be a _long_ night.


	7. Frenemies

They pulled into Juri’s drive way and parked, Utena was the first one out of the car. She surveyed the surrounding estate, making sure there was nothing out of the ordinary. The events at the theater coupled with the car ride had made her feel a bit paranoid, and it was now affecting her state of mind. Making her wary of any dark corners, or hidden shadows.

It wasn’t technically a bad thing; she should be ready for the unexpected.

Utena heard the passenger door close and she turned her gaze on Himemiya. She watched as Anthy observed her surroundings too, then make her way towards the front door. She guessed Anthy was feeling just as on edge as she was.

Utena watched Himemiya’s back, thinking about how this meeting was going to go and if it would yield any new or important information. She hoped it wasn’t going to be a waste of time, and that Himemiya was being sincere about helping them end Akio’s reign at Ohtori.

She joined Anthy at the foot of the stairs and they walked up to the front door together. Utena knocked on the door and Miki was the one who answered it, leading them to the living room.

As they approached, she noticed Nanami standing by one of the windows, a wine glass in her hand. She was dressed a bit more casually, but the outfit was still flashy. Her hair was straightened and it flowed to her mid-back.

Miki stopped to Utena’s right, “Glad you two made it here safely, I got a little worried after losing sight of you on the freeway. Did something happen?”

Utena shook her head, “No, just got stuck behind a slow car.” She could see the next question pass over Miki’s face and quickly came up with her own to avoid any further prying, “Where is Juri?”

“She’s upstairs, said she had something for us to see.”

 _Oh, great another surprise_ , she thought bitterly, annoyed of all the recent events. Utena stepped away from Miki after noticing his interest in Himemiya. She didn’t want to get in the middle of that so she made her way to the liquor cabinet. She browsed through Juri’s collection, quickly realizing she couldn’t read half of the labels plastered on the bottles. She sighed feeling a bit frustrated, and then reached into the cabinet, selecting a bottle which she hoped was vodka.

“You sure you can handle that, Tenjou?”

Utena’s back tensed at the sound of Juri’s voice, she turned around to face the older woman, bottle in hand. _How the hell does she keep sneaking up on me…_ “It looked like vodka so I…” Her words trailed off after noticing the amused look on Juri’s face and the laptop in her arm.

“Spirytus is vodka, and it is the strongest alcohol in existence.”

Nanami stepped over to them, taking the bottle of Spirytus from Utena’s hand to examine it. “Why didn’t you offer this to me? I asked for the strongest thing you had on hand, _Juri_.” Her left hand glided to her hip while she continued to read the label.

“I didn’t think vodka was something you enjoyed, Nanami. But here I’ll gladly have Utena pour everyone a cup. It should help loosen the tension in the room.”

Nanami handed the bottle back to Utena, “I want mine on the rocks.” she walked away before Utena could even protest the bratty demand.

Juri gave Utena a small smirk, then followed Nanami over to one of the couches, placing the laptop down on the coffee table before taking a seat next to the blond.

Utena blinked, a bit confused about what had just transpired, how did she end up being the designated bartender for the night? She huffed out a breath then picked up enough glasses for the whole group. Once done she picked up one of the nearby serving trays and made her way over to the table.

She placed the tray down on the coffee table and gestured for everyone to grab a drink. Miki and Himemiya made their way over, selecting their cups before sitting on the second couch, opposite Juri and Nanami.

Utena took the final cup of vodka and glanced from one couch to the next. She was stuck with choosing to sit next to Himemiya or Nanami. Both those options seemed terrible so she opted to stand.

She watched everyone sit awkwardly on the couches; Miki and Nanami inspected their drinks, while Juri took a small sip of hers. Himemiya just sat demurely on the couch, back straight and expression unreadable.

Utena’s nervous energy got the better of her and she bounced her weight from one foot to other. It was the only thing she could do to avoid her usual stretching habits. She decided then it would be a good idea to take a sip of her drink. Her tongue recoiled at the potently bitter taste of the alcohol. Juri wasn’t kidding, this vodka really packed a punch.

After taking her sip she watched Nanami and then Miki take a drink. Nanami barely flinched while Miki coughed uncontrollably. Utena couldn’t help but chuckle at the display, she should’ve expected that reaction from him.

Miki’s coughing fit only got worse and he excused himself from the table to retrieve some water.

Nanami scoffed impudently at Miki’s retreating back, “It wasn’t _that_ bad,” She turned her attention back to the group, frowning at Utena who was giving her a disapproving look, “What? I’ve had worse.”

Juri cleared her throat, “Of course, you’ve had worse” she interjected, stopping Utena from responding and starting a pointless argument. “I never said it tasted bad, only that it is strong.”

The blond took another sip of the drink, sparing a glance up at Himemiya before shifting a bit uncomfortably on the couch. “Creep…” She muttered quietly under her breath.

Anthy suddenly brought the cup up to her lips, slowly tilting it until the liquid started to pour into her mouth. Everyone’s attention was drawn to the display, curious to see the reaction the liquor would elicit from the former Rose Bride.

Miki returned and noticed everyone staring at Himemiya, he stared along with them. His eyes widened with mild shock when Anthy finished the drink and calmly placed the empty cup on the coffee table. A small blush of embarrassment coated his cheeks. “H-how—was that water?”

Nanami looked just as perplexed as Miki, her eyes then focused on Utena, waiting for her to answer Miki’s question.

“Vodka.” Utena deadpanned, gaze not leaving Himemiya.

Silence crept into the room, then Juri crossed her legs and leaned back into the couch, “Well, now that we’ve all had some time to relax, I’d like to get started. No point in wasting time with formalities we’ve all been acquainted in the past.” She swirled the remaining contents of her cup idly in her hand, eyes trained on Anthy. “ _So_ , Rose Bride, who’s side are you on?”

“I’m no longer the Rose Bride, Miss Arisugawa, and I’m just here because of Utena.” Anthy’s tone was flat and serious. The answer had Juri raise an eyebrow in amusement, obviously not use to the new and _more_ vocal Anthy.

“Pfft, typical,” Nanami mentioned annoyed, bouncing the leg she had draped over the other, “That’s not an answer, Himemiya. You could be here trying to gain Utena’s trust so she’d willingly _and_ stupidly go back with you to Ohtori.”

Utena shot Nanami an icy glare, “ _Hey!_ I don’t trust her either.” She said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. Nanami rolled her eyes in response, taking a short sip of the Spirytus.

Juri cleared her throat, demanding the groups silence, “We’re not here to play games Himemiya, if you are not on our side, you are the enemy. Simple as that.” Her tone was critical, “So, I’ll ask again, are you with or against us?”

Anthy regarded Juri coolly, unphased by the threat. “I’m not your enemy.”

Both Nanami and Juri seemed unconvinced but neither of them pushed the issue further. Juri continued, “Why is your brother in our lives again?”

“I don’t know—”

“What’s with the freaks in the tacky funeral attire?” Nanami interjected.

Anthy’s eyes narrowed briefly, “I don’t know.”

Juri closed her eyes for a second, countenance thoughtful, like she was trying to figure out how to word her next question. Her eyelids slowly opened and she leered at Anthy, “Who destroyed Ohtori Academy?”

The room went silent. Utena, Nanami and Miki all froze, looks of shock and confusion covered all their faces.

The silence lingered for several seconds, Miki was the first to break it, “Destroyed…? What do you mean destroyed?”

“Ohtori Academy is no longer standing; it was leveled by a series of detonations less than 6 hours ago.” Juri flipped the laptop open, clicking a few keys before placing it in the center of the coffee table and gesturing for everyone to take a look at the screen. Nanami snatched up the computer before anyone else could even make a move. “The news is releasing very little details on the incident but I have some informant’s already looking into it. I should receive details within the next few hours.”

Dread coiled tightly within Utena’s heart, all she could think about was Wakaba and the countless other students who had still been trapped within Ohtori. This couldn’t be happening, it didn’t make any sense. What purpose could blowing up the whole campus serve? Her grip tightened around the cup in her hand while she made her way over to Anthy. “Himemiya what is happening?”

Anthy tipped her head up to meet Utena’s perplexed expression. There was a bit of hesitation before she parted her lips, “He’s clearing the board, preparing to start anew.”

Utena’s jaw tightened, the muscles of her cheeks visibly popping. She had an idea about what Anthy meant, but she needed to hear it. “Start over? What does that mean? Why destroy the school?” The Witch averted her eyes then, focusing them on her hands which sat clutched together on her lap. Utena’s stomach tightened with apprehension, but she steeled her nerves and kneeled down. Making it difficult for Anthy to ignore her presence.

A soft relinquishing sigh escaped Anthy’s mouth before her emerald gaze peered back into blue, “Akio knows he can’t get the power of Dios by continuing the duels as they stand. So, he’s trying something new, something I haven’t seen before and couldn’t understand unless I had the opportunity to see the ruined remains of Ohtori Academy.”

“Is there really no other option?” Juri questioned from behind Utena, “This could all be a trap.”

Utena stood up stepping to the left so that she could continue to observe both Juri and Anthy.

Anthy focused on Juri after Utena stepped away, “Yes, that’s always a possibility.”

Miki swallowed hard, his expression grim, he hesitated with uttering the question stuck in his throat, “Do we know if the campus was evacuated prior to the explosion?”

Juri shook her head, “The police haven’t released any reports.”

Miki’s shoulders sagged disappointedly in response to Juri’s answer. While Nanami turned her attention back to the computer sitting on her lap, scrolling aimlessly through the article, no doubt trying to distract herself from the devastating news.

The silence in the room was suffocating, Utena walked over to the patio door leading to the backyard, where she stared blankly into the vast garden, hands tightly balled into fists. Everyone at the school could be dead…Wakaba could be gone forever.

A pang of guilt wrapped around her heart and with it she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. _Wakaba…I’m sorry…_ Unwilling to let her tears show, Utena stepped out into the backyard, closing the door gently behind her.

The crisp night air hit her skin allowing her to breathe a little easier. The gardens new surroundings provided her a more calming environment to think and clear her head. Letting her focus on the fact that neither the police or news had mentioned anything about injuries or casualties. Maybe there was still hope of survivors and another reason behind the explosion, one not connected to Akio Ohtori.

But they wouldn’t get any answers just sitting around waiting for the authorities to complete their investigation. No, that could take weeks, time they clearly didn’t have. There was only one option; they’d have to travel back to Ohtori Academy.

**

Juri and Nanami continued to interrogate Anthy for a few more hours, asking her countless questions about Akio and what his next moves would be. But much of that conversation ended up fruitless, mainly because Anthy said she had no direct link to her brother anymore and couldn’t guess what he’d do in such a desperate state.

By the time everything was said and done it was 2:00 A.M. and everyone was exhausted. Fortunately, the cross-examination seemed to have eased some of the suspicion between the group and Himemiya. Allowing the hostile tension to dissolve into something more cordial.

Juri invited them all to stay, stating that she had more than enough rooms to accommodate everyone in their own separate space. Everyone decided to take her up on the offer. Nanami was the first to disappear upstairs, complaining about how she needed a shower to scrub all the bullshit away and get her beauty sleep in.

She was followed up by Miki who said he had an early start tomorrow due to concert schedules and needed to make his way back to Los Angeles first thing in the morning.

This left only Juri, Anthy and Utena still sitting around the couches, with a second round of drinks from something a little less potent then the Spirytus. Which Utena was thankful for, her stomach was still recovering from the half cup she finished only two hours ago.

“Have you heard anything from your friends in Japan, Juri?” Utena asked resting her left ankle on top of her right knee and leaning languidly into the couch.

Juri checked the laptop then her phone, “Nothing yet, but I’m sure we should have something by mid-morning or the afternoon. Unless they ran into some trouble, but either way we’ll hear back soon.”

Utena spared a quick glance at Anthy, who currently sat to her right; face serious and uninterested in the conversation. Utena furrowed her brows wondering if she was waiting on her or Juri to leave so she could talk to one of them in private. She cleared her throat unwilling to dwell on the thought any longer. She took a sip of her drink, reverting her attention back to Juri, “If we don’t hear anything back, I was thinking I could go back to Ohtori and check it out myself.”

Juri raised a questioning eyebrow, “By yourself?” Utena nodded in affirmation, “Well, it would help if someone who knew about Ohtori was there looking for any clues, _but_ we can’t overlook the fact that this could all be part of Akio’s plan.” She tapped her index finger on the glass cup, “Then again the place would be crawling with police, making it a bit difficult for anything to happen without others noticing—”

“It’s not a good idea.” Anthy interjected, finally turning her attention to the two women in the room.

“What do you suggest then, Himemiya?” Juri retorted calmly.

“I can go instead.” Anthy offered, making Utena shift in her seat ready to argue. She looked over at the pink-haired woman. “Or we can go together.”

Juri chuckled, entertained by the look of irritation on Utena’s face, “Sounds good to me. I can set up travel arrangements for both of you, _after_ I hear back from my informants.” With that she stood up from the couch, and slowly started to make her way out of the room, “I’m calling it a night, I suggest you two do the same.”

Utena intently listened to every single one of Juri’s footsteps until they disappeared up the stairs. A short exhale then escaped her lips and she let her head loll onto the back of the couch, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Thinking about everything that had happened in the course of one night.

There was still so much they didn’t understand, and the few answers they got from Anthy -mostly willingly- revealed very little about the situation they were in. But it proved to them that she was currently on their side and wanted to help them bring an end to her brother’s crazy plans. It was a step in the right direction, but that did little to calm the dread still lingering deep within her heart. She wanted to hold out hope for everyone at Ohtori, especially Wakaba and Kozue. They didn’t deserve to be used as pawns in Akio’s twisted game.

She let her head tilt slightly to the right, Anthy was staring intently into her untouched drink from earlier. The ice had melted, deluding the dark liquor into a more cream looking color. “Thank you,” Utena murmured.

“It’s the least I could do.”

“True, but regardless, thank you.” Utena straightened herself out on the couch, gaze more focused on Anthy.

Anthy turned in her direction, nodding slightly, the seriousness on her features had softened into a small rueful smile. Utena’s lips quirked into a half smile in response.

“So, should we have a plan for when we land back in Japan?”

“Yes, that would probably be for the best.”

“Hmm, ok well weapons are probably a must. Juri gave me a sword almost identical to the one she used back at Ohtori and a gun. But I doubt I can take those on the plane.” Her face scrunched thoughtfully.

“That shouldn’t be an issue.” Anthy mentioned untroubled, catching Utena’s attention.

“Not an issue? Can you sneak them through?”

“I might have a few tricks I can incorporate.”

“Tricks? You sure they’ll work?” Utena asked dubiously and Anthy nodded in affirmation to her question. “Ok, but this better not be a prank, I rather not get thrown in jail.” She chuckled, eliciting a small giggle from Anthy. The thought of pranks brought back a memory they shared while back at Ohtori, “Remember that time we switched bodies because of your exploding curry? Man, it’s crazy to think how I didn’t even think twice about that, I just accepted it like it was normal.”

“That was an interesting week to say the least.”

She smirked, “Yeah…hey, so I know you never admitted it but _you_ were the one who always switched out the sugar for the salt, right?” Anthy smiled innocently at her, only giving her a slight nod in response, “That was the worst tea ever, even poor Chu-Chu fell for it.”

“I’m not sure why, he watched me switch them out. But he could be a little forgetful at times.”

“I still remember the look on his face,” Utena said, a nostalgic grin spreading on her face. “Guess it wasn’t all bad, huh?”

“No, I suppose it wasn’t…I really did enjoy our time together.” Anthy said a bit shyly, looking down towards her drink, fingers flexing slightly around the cup in her hand.

Utena watched Anthy for a second, then rubbed the back of her neck when she felt a tinge of heat rise to her cheeks. “Same here…I um had a lot of fun with you and Chu-Chu when we weren’t doing any of that stupid dueling stuff.” Anthy just nodded in reply, eyes still focused on the cushion between them, instead of her.

Anthy shifted in her seat, placing her cup on the coffee table before wiping her hand on her shirt and turning her attention back to Utena. “I hope one day we can all have carefree days like that again.”

Utena nodded, “That would be nice…maybe after all this crap is over, we can finally have a shot at a normal life.” Anthy smiled warmly in reply and she smiled back fully and unrestrained. It was nice, being able to talk to Himemiya like this. Without anger or other negative emotions clouding her judgement. Maybe this was a sign that she was starting to learn how to forgive Anthy and heal.

A comfortable silence encompassed the room then, helping ease some of the restless energy Utena had started to feel. It was nice to forget about the impending dangers that loomed over their heads and just enjoy a moment of tranquility.

“Utena?”

“Huh?”

“If uh…well…” Anthy hesitated with putting her sentence into words, “If you need someone to talk to, about anything, please don’t hesitate to come to me.”

Utena gave Anthy a small smile, “Thanks Himemiya.” She then got to her feet lifting her hands up into a stretch and yawn. “I’m gonna go crash, it’s getting a bit hard to keep my eyes open. Are you going to bed?”

“No, I’m going to stay up a bit longer. But have a goodnight, Utena.”

“Goodnight, Himemiya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Just an FYI the turnaround for the rest of the chapters will slow down to about one chapter per month (maybe longer) because I am starting school.


	8. Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter has a section that depicts past rape but its not explicit**

Utena tossed and turned in the oversized bed, trying to find a comfortable position but sleep just wouldn’t come. She groaned feeling annoyed and exhausted as she sat on the edge of the bed. All she wanted to do was rest but her overactive imagination and restless energy was making it impossible to relax. She reached for the water bottle sitting on the night stand, twisting the lid until she heard the plastic crackle. In that same instant a muffled thud sounded from outside of the window.

Her heart jumped at the sound and she quickly got to her feet, cautiously stepping over to the left side of the window. Slowly she reached for the curtains and pulled them back, peering into the well-lit backyard. It took her eyes a second to adjust but she finally caught sight of a figure lying unconscious near one of the bushes. The body was right under one of the light posts and she could see blood flowing freely onto the concrete.

_Shit_

Glass shattered in the room next door followed by an ear-piercing scream that she quickly recognized as Nanami. Utena ran out into the hallway and thrusted the door open, catching sight of two figures forcing Nanami towards the shattered window.

“Stop!” Utena yelled, sprinting in their direction.

One of the figures turned around and unsheathed a sword from his waist, Utena came to an abrupt stop and glanced frantically around the room for any kind of weapon.

“Get down!” Juri called from the door, and Utena ducked to the floor when she noticed the automatic rifle in Juri’s hands.

Juri aimed her weapon and shot off two rounds, they both hit their mark making both of the figures howl out in pain. Utena took advantage of the confusion and ran over to the figure with the sword. As she approached, she noticed that the figure was a young man, clad in an all-black uniform that resembled what Kozue was wearing at the theater. She quickly took a swing at his face, forcing the sword out of his hand and onto the floor.

Utena took hold of the sword, instantly taking a defensive stance while squaring up to the enemy. The young man’s eyes narrowed viciously at her and she caught a glint of an unnatural green glow in them.

“Fall back!” The second figure commanded, dropping Nanami carelessly onto the floor and running for the window. The man hesitated for a second, like he was going to disobey but ultimately followed the woman’s orders and fled out the window.

Utena ran towards the window and watched the two figures land effortlessly onto the ground below. Everything about their movements seemed impossibly inhuman.

“Are you ok Nanami?”

Juri’s voice pried Utena’s eyes away from the fleeing duelists and back to the disaster in the room. With the adrenaline slowly fading she realized she had stepped onto the glass barefoot and was now bleeding. She did her best to step away from the glass then sat down on the floor to check out the cuts.

Nanami groaned in pain while rubbing the back of her head, “No! Does it look like I’m ok? I was almost kidnapped by those maniacs!” She growled, eyes staring angrily up at Juri, who watched her dramatic display, apathetically.

The red-head turned her attention over to Utena, “How about you? Are you ok?”

Nanami looked over at Utena then back at Juri before getting up to her feet and dusting herself off.

Utena pulled out one of the jagged pieces of glass from her foot, surprisingly she didn’t feel any pain. It reminded her of how she crushed the serrated pieces of Anthy’s broken teapot within her hand and didn’t feel it pierce her skin. Juri reiterated her question when she didn’t respond right away, taking her attention away from the memory, “Yeah…just made the mistake of running in here barefoot.” She explained without sparing a glance up at Juri or Nanami, too busy picking at the glass on the bottom of her foot.

Nanami’s face twisted into a disgusted grimace when Utena pulled out one of the larger shards of glass from her foot.

Juri stepped closer to Utena, “I’ll go grab a medical—”

“Everyone ok! What happened?!” Miki exclaimed frettingly, rushing into the room; he was followed by two of Juri’s guards and Anthy.

“You two,” Juri pointed at the guards, “regroup with the rest of security and search the estate for any clues or injured.” She ordered and waited for the two guards to exit before she walked over to Miki. “Nanami was almost kidnapped by the duelists in black. Everyone’s ok, for the most part.” Juri glanced over her shoulder at Utena then handed her rifle over to Miki. “Hold this for me, I need to go grab some bandages.”

Anthy stepped around Miki and Juri, briskly walking towards Utena as Miki clumsily took the weapon from Juri.

A perplexed expression covered Miki’s face, “ _Umm…ok_ ” he muttered, taking a few tentative steps towards the bed where he carefully laid the rifle down on the mattress.

Anthy kneeled down beside Utena, “You should wait for the bandages, that’s only going to make the bleeding worse.”

A short sigh emitted from Utena’s lips, “Yeah, guess you’re right.” She glanced over at the sword she had acquired from one of the duelist’s, it was a scimitar style sword and there wasn’t anything particularly unique about it except for the strange markings etched into the center of the blade. She wasn’t sure why, but the weapon seemed oddly familiar. Utena brought the sword a little closer, gently passing her fingers over the engraving. She noticed Anthy take interest in what she was doing so she flipped the blade over, exposing the markings to Anthy. “It has weird writing…it looks familiar like I’ve seen it before but I’m not sure where.”

Both Miki and Nanami were listening in on the conversation and were finally curious enough to walk over.

“Mind if I take a look?” Miki asked, crouching down next to Utena, who handed the sword over to him. “Hmm, this looks like it could be Indus Script but some of these markings are very…unique.” He stood up and turned the sword in his hand inspecting every inch of it. Nanami perched herself to his left and observed his every move attentively.

Approaching footsteps jerked the groups attention to the door, their tense energy soon relaxed once they realized it was just Juri walking in with some medical supplies. Juri stopped next to Anthy and she handed the supplies to her.

“Hey I can do it.” Utena mentioned while trying to reach for the medical supplies, Anthy shook her head indicating that she didn’t mind helping her out. “Himemiya, it’s no big deal I—”

“You’re right, it’s not a big deal which is why I’m helping you.” Anthy gave Utena a soft smile before placing the first aid kit on the ground and selecting the necessary items.

A small tint of pink appeared on Utena’s cheeks; she was going to continue arguing but decided it wouldn’t do her any good. Anthy seemed pretty adamant about patching her up. She glanced up at Juri for a moment and she watched as the red-head smiled knowingly at the two, like she knew something they didn't. She returned her gaze to Anthy for about a minute before she noticed the others pouring over the scimitar and murmuring theories on the engraving.

“So, what does it say genius?” Nanami asked, taking the sword from Miki’s hands.

Miki shrugged his shoulders, “I’m honestly not sure, I can read the words caged and soul, but I can’t make out the rest.”

Juri effortlessly removed the sword from Nanami’s grasp, holding it upright in front of her. Green eyes attentively roamed every inch of the blade before she swung it expertly from left to right then she placed the tip of the blade into the floor between her feet. “Are you fluent in your native language, Himemiya?”

“I am.” Anthy answered, still completely immersed in bandaging up Utena.

“Perfect, you’ll translate it for us.” Juri practically demanded, her hand resting on the pommel of the scimitar as she honed in on Anthy.

Anthy finished wrapping the bandages around Utena’s feet and then stood up, turning to face Juri. “It’s a binding spell.” Everyone gave her confused expressions, so she continued with an explanation. “It’s an ancient spell that usually binds souls to an object.”

Miki glanced over to the sword then back to Anthy, “What would be the point of that?”

“Normally, a warrior’s spirit would be attached to a weapon granting the wielder with their expertise. Essentially making a novice an expert. Many ancient kingdoms used this magic to—”

Utena distracted the conversation when she jumped up to her feet, instantaneously receiving concerned or confused looks from the group. She looked at everyone then shrugged a little bemused, “What?”

“How the hell are you standing?” Nanami blurted out, then faced Himemiya, “Did you use your witch powers or something?” Anthy shook her head no.

Juri stepped closer to Utena and offered to help her towards the bed to sit. Utena refused her help but went to sit on the bed after a little coaxing from both Juri and Miki.

“Guy’s seriously I’m fine.” Utena insisted, “Can we focus on the important stuff, like the duelists and why they came here to kidnap Nanami.”

“It is a bit odd that they only targeted Nanami,” Juri faced the blond, “Can you think of any reason why they’d be here for you?”

“How the hell should I know? Those freaks are probably just trying to drag us back to Ohtori one by one.”

“But Ohtori is gone, remember?” Miki reminded her.

Nanami groaned in annoyance, “ _So_ maybe not _Ohtori_ but somewhere just as horrible.”

“Hmm, maybe.” Juri said pensively, “I’m going to go check-in with security to see if they found anything. Until then I want you all in groups of two or more. There are swords and guns located in my office. Just go inside and grab what you need.”

Everyone nodded and exited the room together, Juri left towards the stairs while the rest of the group entered her private office. They walked around until they found the large walk-in closet that resembled a small armory.

Nanami stepped over to the gun racks and selected a small 9 mm handgun along with a bowie knife, while Miki grabbed a rapier and tested its weight with a few decisive swings.

Utena replaced the scimitar she was now carrying with a double-edged arming sword. The scimitar was too awkward for her to wield and they didn’t have any other use for the weapon so there was no point in carrying it around. She roamed the small armory until a display of hunting knives caught her eye. The glass display was unlocked, allowing her access to choose one of the larger buck knives.

Once satisfied with her selections, Utena turned her head to face Anthy who was standing inside of the doorframe and watching them. Utena strapped the sword to her back using a black leather holster, “You’re not gonna grab a sword or a gun?”

Anthy shook her head, “No, I have no need for them.”

Utena regarded Anthy with a skeptical expression, “You sure?”

“Of course, she’s sure.” Nanami chimed in, unsheathing the bowie knife and giving it a quick once over, “She’s a witch, remember?”

“A knife wouldn’t hurt though.” Utena retorted a bit defensively. Nanami just shrugged in response, placing the knife back into its sheath and walking out of the armory without another word.

Everyone finished making their weapon selections and met back in Juri’s office. Nanami stepped over to Miki and hooked her arm around his. “I’m going to go back to my room and change into something I can fight in.” She started to drag Miki towards the door.

Miki struggled a bit against the blondes hold “W-wait Nanami, why are you—” 

“Juri said groups of two. So, you’re coming with me.”

Miki continued to protest, trying to convince Nanami to choose someone else. But she continued to drag him along into the hallway.

Utena stepped out into hallway, an amused smile crossed her lips as she watched Miki being ushered away. She felt bad for smiling but was glad she didn’t end up with Nanami as her partner. Anthy’s soft footsteps took her attention away from the hallway, “I think Nanami has a point, we should change out of our pjs. We can go to your room first.” Utena offered, and Anthy nodded in agreement before turning to the left and walking towards her room. Utena followed close behind.

They quickly arrived outside of Anthy’s room.

“I’ll wait out here.” Utena said, walking up to the wall next to the door and leaning her back up against it. Anthy stopped near the doorway and turned to face her, she looked like she wanted to change Utena’s mind and let her in but she just nodded before disappearing into the room.

A yawn flowed lazily out of Utena as she waited for Anthy to finish. The lack of sleep was starting to take a toll on her and making it hard to keep her eyes open. In an attempt to stay awake she pushed herself off the wall and removed the sword from its sheath, assuming an offensive stance. She took a few practice swings then lunged forward and thrusted the sword from left to right.

The new sword wasn’t as light as a rapier but the blade extended out further, giving her a longer reach. It would help keep any enemy at a distance and the double-edge would cause twice the damage.

“It seems like you are still a natural.” Anthy intervened mildly impressed, “Did you keep practicing after Ohtori?”

Utena took in a deep breath, feeling a bit fatigued from the short practice, “A bit, but I mainly took some martial arts classes for self-defense.” She sheathed the sword then turned on her heels to face Anthy, who had changed back into a black t-shirt and black jeans. “That looks comfy, especially the boots.” She pointed at Anthy’s shoes with a half-smile on her face.

Anthy smiled at her, “It is, we should hurry up and get to your room.” She waited for Utena to pass by before matching her pace and following her down the hallway.

Utena stepped into her room then glanced over her shoulder and noticed Anthy had stayed outside. An unusually troubled feeling flowed through her as she placed the sword down on the bed. She soon realized that what she was feeling was concern. Concern for Anthy and leaving her out in the hallway by herself. It was a baseless feeling, mostly because she knew Anthy was more than capable of taking care of herself. Yet, regardless of this fact the feeling persisted.

Unable to concentrate, Utena poked her head back out of the room and caught Anthy leaning up against the wall; practically mirroring what she had been doing while waiting for her just moments ago. “Hey,” she started a bit awkwardly, making Anthy turn her attention from the hallway to her. “Um…if you want you can come in and take a seat while I change.” Anthy propelled herself off the wall and started walking towards the door, Utena held the door open and let her in before shutting the door. Anthy stepped over to the bed and sat down while Utena grabbed the clothes she had worn for Miki’s concert. She would’ve preferred changing into a pair of fresh clothes but didn’t have any with her since the sleepover was completely unexpected.

“I’m gonna go change in the bathroom, be right back.” She called over her shoulder at Anthy before disappearing into the small room. Utena splashed some water on her face, gently dabbing it with one of the towels hanging near the sink.

The cooling sensation left over from the cold water helped minimize the tight apprehension looming within the pit of her stomach. Her eyes floated from the sink to the mirror, a frown stretched over her lips as she noticed the dark circles forming under her eyes. She looked as terrible as she felt.

The white dress shirt was horribly wrinkled along with the black pants and her hair was an unkempt mess. She scolded herself, this wasn’t the time to feel self-conscious about her appearance, especially since there were more important things to worry about.

An annoyed huff of air escaped through her nose after trying to comb down her hair and failing. Her mind felt jumbled up with exhaustion, making it impossible to think about anything but the inconsequential problems in front of her. “I need coffee…” She grumbled to herself while stepping out of the bathroom and walking over to Anthy; who was idly inspecting the buck knife Utena had left on the bed.

“You can keep it if you want. It should come in handy.”

Anthy’s emerald eyes glanced up at her then focused back on the knife, “Thank you, but I really don’t need it.” She slid the blade back into its sheath, “It will do more good in your hands.”

Utena regarded her with a bit of curiosity as she plopped down on the bed a few inches away from Anthy. “You sure? I mean I know you have magic and all…but a failsafe never hurt anyone.”

“No, I suppose not.” She looked down at the blade in her hand then placed it back on the bed.

“Ok, its settled then.” Utena stood up and reached for the leather harness, hoisting the sword off the bed. “I kinda need a pick me up and was planning on raiding Juri’s kitchen.” She announced, strapping the harness around her torso. “You don’t mind, right?”

Anthy gave her a small smile, “Not at all, lead the way.”

They walked down stairs, choosing a couple random doors and hallways until they finally found the kitchen. Utena rummaged through the massive room until she found some energy drinks. She decided to choose the fruit punch flavored drink in lieu of coffee because it was less work then brewing a whole pot of coffee.

The lid of the can popped loudly under her fingers and she took a long gulp of the carbonated liquid. She hoped it would be enough to wake her up, she needed to be as alert as possible. The next attack could come at any moment and she needed to be ready.

“Are those any good?”

Utena turned to Anthy, the half full energy drink still in her right hand. “It’s not bad, have you not tried one before?” Anthy shook her head no and Utena noticed the curiosity in her eyes. So, she picked up the raspberry flavored can and held it up to Anthy. “You like raspberry?”

Anthy took the drink, twirling the can in her hand as she inspected the labels.

“It’s like fruit flavored coffee.” Utena explained.

“That sounds disgusting.” Anthy said flatly.

Utena chuckled a bit sheepishly, “That came out wrong, what I meant is that it has caffeine and will help wake you up. There’s no coffee in it.”

“I think I’ll stick to what I know.” Anthy handed the can back to Utena and walked over to the stove, grabbing what she needed to brew tea.

Utena leaned back into one of the counters as she continued to take sips of her drink. Blue eyes focused on Anthy, intently watching her every move. She noticed that the knife was now strapped to the belt around her waist. It was an odd sight but then again everything was. Her “normal” life had been turned upside down and thrown back into the past. Sure, there were quite a few differences but ultimately the game felt the same.

They were in the dark, uncertain and unsure of what was to come next. It was frustrating but at least they had some direction and soon she’d hope to be on a plane and looking for new clues that would lead them to Wakaba and the others. She finished off her drink, crushing the can between her palms and tossing it into the nearest trashcan before stepping closer to Anthy and checking on her progress with the tea.

The light fresh soothing fragrance of the green tea soon filled the kitchen. Utena took in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, enjoying its great scent. “That smells good.”

Anthy eyed her through her peripheral, a smile spreading on her lips, “I thought we could all benefit from some green tea.”

A whistling sound emitted from the kettle announcing that the tea was done. Anthy turned off the stove then poured herself a cup of tea, holding it appreciatively between her hands. “Would you like a cup?”

“No thank you, maybe—” A buzzing sound coming from her pants pocket distracted her from the conversation. She reached into her pocket and noticed it was a text from Juri, telling them that the coast was clear and that everyone could go back to their rooms but that she’d prefer them to sleep two to a room just in case.

“Is it Juri?”

“Yeah, she says we should be safe to go back to our rooms. Guess the guards didn’t find anything new or dangerous.” Utena replied to the mass text and waited until everyone else responded before slipping the phone back into her pocket.

“You heading back to your room?” Anthy asked before taking a short sip of her tea.

“Juri said she’d like us to stick to groups for safety. So, I’ll wait for you to finish up.”

“She’s still worried about another attack?”

She shrugged, uncertainly, “Probably but she has a point. We don’t know what could happen next.”

Anthy hummed in agreement, taking another sip of her tea.

Utena’s mind wandered back to Juri’s text, they would definitely be safer in groups but the thought of sleeping in the same room with Anthy made her feel a bit nervous. It was a weird feeling especially since it was more directed at the fact that they might have to share a bed. She tried to push the thoughts out of her head but it only made things worse. Bringing memories of them sleeping together and holding hands.

A pink blush slowly covered her cheeks and she could feel her nerves fluttering around in her stomach. The emotions made her feel frustrated and confused, she wasn’t sure why they would be surfacing now, during the most inconvenient time ever.

“Utena, are you ok?”

Anthy’s concerned voice pulled her out of her reverie. She looked up to notice that Anthy was standing right in front of her, eyes filled with worry. Utena blinked slowly, “I…uhh—yeah!” She choked out, clearing her throat. “I’m fine, why?”

Anthy furrowed her eyebrows, noticing Utena’s odd behavior, “You just look a bit flushed.”

She shook her head vigorously from left to right, “Nah, I’m ok. It’s probably just the…um…energy drink.” Utena noticed the uncertain gleam in Anthy’s eyes and she tried her best to smile reassuringly. “Really I’m fine. Are you almost done with your tea?” She changed the subject, hoping Anthy would take the bait and move on.

Anthy turned her attention from Utena to the tea in her hands, the liquid was practically gone. She brought the cup up to her lips and finished it off. “Yes, I’m done.”

“Good,” Utena said happily, glad that Anthy hadn’t continued to pry. “let’s start heading back up. I’m exhausted and sleep sounds amazing.” She faced the exit to the kitchen and started walking towards it, not waiting for Anthy to reply.

Utena stopped right outside of the door, listening to Anthy move around the kitchen. Anthy returned with a piping hot cup of tea in her hand. Utena furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at the teacup, “You needed another cup?”

“No, I thought you might need it. You seem a bit tense, this should help you relax.” Anthy held the cup up to Utena.

“Oh…uh thank you.” Utena took the cup and Anthy smiled up at her.

They both started making their way up the stairs. Utena walked cautiously up the steps trying not to spill any of the tea. It was a bit tricky but she managed to do it without wasting a single drop. Once they were in the hallway, she took a quick glance in Anthy’s direction before refocusing on the hallway a head.

“So…I’m not sure if you read Juri’s text but she kinda wants us to sleep either in a group or in pairs.”

“Mmhmm, I read it.”

“Do you want to head over to Nanami’s room…or…?”

Anthy chuckled, “I don’t think either of us want to sleep in Nanami’s room.”

A small laugh passed through Utena’s lips, “ _Yeah,_ I rather avoid that. I feel bad for Miki though, hope he’s ok.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Anthy stopped in the middle of the hallway, “Well my room is right here, why don’t we just sleep here tonight?”

Utena glimpsed over at the door to Anthy’s room, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, ok, that works.” She followed Anthy into the room. A stream of fading moonlight shone in through the large window, illuminating half of the room in a soft white glow. It was almost identical to the room she was staying in; the only differences were some of the decorations surrounding the walls and the location of the bed. Which was on the opposite wall to hers.

Utena glided her palm against the wall, attempting to find the light switch. While searching, her hand drifted on top of something soft and warm. The lights suddenly turned on and she realized her hand was on top of Anthy’s. Utena jerked her hand away, “Sorry,” she blurted out, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. “I was just…uh looking for the switch but you beat me to it.”

An airy giggle slipped through Anthy’s lips as she watched Utena’s reaction, “No need to apologize.” She casually strolled deeper into the room, stopping in front of the bed where she picked up the nightgown she had been wearing earlier and she started to remove her clothes.

Caught completely off-guard, Utena, openly stared for a brief moment before she turned towards the door, cheeks burning. This shouldn’t be so… _weird?_ She swallowed hard trying to get her emotions in check. Anthy changing in front of her really shouldn’t feel so unusual. They had undressed in front of each other countless times while they were at Ohtori, since they were roommates. She decided to blame her delirious behavior on the lack of sleep again.

“You going somewhere?”

Anthy’s curious voice took her out of her musings and she turned back to look at her, “I uh…yeah—” Utena’s mouth hung slightly open as her eyes took Anthy in. The black silk nightgown clung nicely around Anthy’s figure and the hem stopped above mid-thigh. It looked like the one Anthy was wearing earlier but she hadn’t noticed how good she looked in it. Utena could feel the blush on her face return and it was enough to get her to stop gawking at Anthy. “I forgot my pajamas, I’m gonna go grab ‘em.” She started to take a step towards the door.

“Juri brought some extra ones. You can take one of them if you’d like.”

Her steps came to an abrupt halt and she turned to look over her shoulder, watching Anthy step over to one of the dressers and pull out a set of grey pajamas. There was a part of her that wanted to just reject the offer and go for a walk to clear her head but she knew she wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving Anthy alone. So, with a resigned sigh she turned on her heels and walked over to her, taking the clothes with a grateful smile. “Thanks, this saved me a trip.” She said, checking out the cotton pants and shirt.

Utena propped the sword she was carrying against the nightstand next to the bed. Her fingers then hovered over the top button of her dress shirt and she hesitated for a moment. Thinking she should go change in the bathroom, but in the end, she found the urge ridiculous and just switched out of her clothes briskly.

They both slipped into the bed on opposite sides. Utena laid tensely on her back, staring up into the high ceiling. She had been looking forward to sleeping and thought she’d pass out as soon as her head hit the pillow. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, she was now wide awake and her imagination was running rampant, struggling to ignore the other person in the bed.

Thirty minutes passed before she found a comfortable position on her side facing the wall. Her eyelids steadily became heavy and she drifted off to sleep.

*

_Utena stood outside of the palace she had visited in her dreams just a few weeks ago, it stood tall and unmarred in the dead of night. She tried to turn her head and step forward but her body wouldn’t budge._

_“No good deed goes unpunished…not even those performed by gods.”_

_The distorted voice was exceptionally close, it sounded like it was right in her ear but she didn’t recognize it. She wanted to look to her left, but just like before, her body wouldn’t move; it was like she was trapped and her feet were welded to the ground._

_“They failed…”_

_The voice murmured, almost sympathetically and instantaneously the palace was engulfed in flames. Hundreds of people ran frantically in all directions trying to escape the fire while she was directed out of the city’s gates. She struggled to move once again but her efforts proved fruitless, she was viewing the destruction through someone else’s eyes._

_“Akshant!”_

_Utena was turned away from the gate and back towards the decimation, where she saw Anthy standing a few feet away, completely distraught._

_“What happened?” She asked, in a shaky voice._

_“The inevitable.”_

_Anthy’s shoulders dropped dejectedly, “Baetaal...” she muttered breathlessly with disbelief._

_Akshant chuckled mockingly and Utena could feel his self-satisfying amusement, like she was a part of him._

_“Nothing gets past you, dear sister.” He grinned wickedly as he stepped towards Anthy, stopping uncomfortably close to her. “Now, let’s clean this up. The solstice is nearly over and we have a new world to build.”_

_The image in front of Utena suddenly vaporized into black smoke and she was transported into a new memory; where she found herself on a white horse, one hand gripping the reins tightly while the other helped steady a girl sitting in front of her._

_They rode into the narrow street of an old town with overly crowded wooden buildings. Many of the structures were falling apart and most of the towns people were dressed in dirty smock’s and tunics. The horse trotted carefully through the cobblestone road, avoiding any incoming carriages or pedestrians. Within a few minutes they reached the gates of a deteriorating castle where they were met with ecstatic cheering and congratulations._

_“The prince is back!”_

_“And he saved the princess!”_

_“Thank the gods for their return!”_

_A group of black armored knights escorted them through the gates and into the throne room, they were greeted by the King and Queen._

_“You have returned my daughter to me as promised. Thank you, Prince Dios, you are welcome to stay in my kingdom for as long as you please.”_

_Dios bowed his head reverently, “Thank you, your majesty. That is very generous but other princesses need to be saved, so I will be taking my leave.” With that Dios left the small kingdom and through his eyes, Utena relived countless adventures; most of them were of saving princesses but he had a few happy ones with Anthy. She could feel the pride he felt in helping others and how much he enjoyed being the prince everyone could count on._

_As the memories piled on, she noticed that neither he or Anthy ever aged and that there was never a shortage of princesses to be saved. She didn’t think the cycle would ever end, until one day when she felt completely drained and delirious._

_Dios rode to the cabin that he and Anthy called home, almost collapsing off the white horse when he tried to dismount. Anthy quickly came to his aid, helping him into the cabin and laying him down on a pile of hay to rest._

_Utena struggled to breathe along with Dios, he was fighting to stay awake and through the delirium she could hear the furious chanting of an angry mob outside of the cabin, demanding Dios’ help._

_A door slammed abruptly and Anthy’s small voice could be heard outside, slowly being muffled by the mobs hate filled words, which quickly turned to violence as they plunged their pitchforks and swords into the defenseless girl. Anthy’s tortured screams were enough to push Dios back onto his feet, the cacophonous sound of metal grinding against metal reverberated within the cabin as he got closer to the door and finally pushed it open._

_Anthy laid in a pool of her own blood, body pierced through by multiple weapons._

_Utena shared in Dios’ sheer terror and sadness as he fell to his knees next to Anthy, cautiously cupping her face in both of his hands._

_“Please forgive me…” He muttered mournfully, placing a gentle kiss on Anthy’s forehead._

_That memory soon faded and changed into her sitting on one of the white couches in the planetarium. Across from her was Anthy, sitting demurely in her Ohtori school uniform, her eyes focused on the floor._

_“Come here, Anthy,” Akio said with his hand extended out to his sister and in that moment Utena realized she was still trapped behind Akio’s eyes._

_Utena’s stomach tightened with dread as Anthy obeyed, stopping right in front of her brother. Akio reached up and jerked Anthy down, slamming her back into the couch. He rabidly pulled and yanked at the uniform shirt until it was a tethered mess on the floor._

_A sick feeling grew in the pit of Utena’s stomach in anticipation of what was to come next. She wanted to look away, to stop what was happening in front of her but all she could do was stare and experience Akio’s growing need to hurt Anthy._

_Akio wrapped a hand around Anthy’s throat, slowly applying more and more pressure. A sinister smile spreading across his lips as he watched Anthy struggle to breathe. He enjoyed having power over his sister and watching her suffer, but this act wasn’t solely for pleasure, it was to prove his dominance and superiority to keep her under his control._

_Disgust quickly turned to anger as Utena continued to watch what was happening. She tried to stop it, to move, to scream—anything to end the horrible nightmare she was being forced to relive through Akio’s eyes._

_And after one final attempt her mind finally pushed her out of the nightmare._

Utena gasped for air as her whole body jerked itself awake, she sat up and struggled to calm her haphazard breathing. The nightmare was still clearly etched into her mind, rattling every fiber of her being and taking her back to that day where she was just as helpless as Anthy. Her body shook while she struggled to find an anchor to ground her into the present and away from the past.

A gentle hand glided soothingly against her back, the motion made her stomach drop and she jerked away. Defensively turning her body towards the the person touching her. It took her eyes a few seconds to adjust and see Anthy.

“Utena…are you ok?” She asked, concerned.

An overwhelming sense of relief washed over Utena and she unconsciously wrapped her arms around Anthy, pulling her into a tight hug. She was glad that she had only been dreaming and that Anthy wasn’t in any danger. But the nightmare brought back the horrible realization of Anthy’s tortured past and all the horrible things she had experienced throughout the years. The thought made her heartache to the point of tears. She tried her best to reign in her emotions but her resolve crumbled and tears started to freely stream down her cheeks.

Anthy returned Utena’s embrace, tenderly massaging her back in an attempt to alleviate her worries.

Several minutes passed before Utena was able to restrain the insistent tears and compose her breathing. Finally allowing her to gradually pull away from Anthy and knuckle away the remaining tears on her cheeks.

Embarrassment slowly replaced the ache in her heart when she noticed Anthy’s sympathetic eyes on her. Utena cleared her throat and averted her gaze to the sheets between them, “S-sorry…” she whispered unsteadily, “I didn’t mean to unload on you like that…” Being vulnerable in front of others wasn’t something she was comfortable with. It was just easier to keep everything locked up inside and out of the light. Away from prying eyes that wouldn’t understand, it had always been easier this way. So why did she break down? Why couldn’t she hold it back like before?

The thought of holding Anthy suddenly popped in her mind and heat rose to her cheeks as she remembered how comforting it felt. The hug was spontaneous and she hadn’t given it a second thought. She just jumped on Anthy, like it was the most natural thing to do, like there wasn’t a hundred-thousand miles of pain and betrayal between them.

Anthy placed her hand on top of Utena’s and smiled warmly when she noticed Utena’s attention was back on her, “It’s ok.” She paused, a bit hesitant to continue, “I’m here if you need someone to talk to. I know how terrifying nightmares can be.”

The genuine sincerity and concern in Anthy’s words inadvertently brought a small smile to Utena’s face, “Yeah they suck sometimes…but I don’t want to keep you up. I’m sure Juri’s a morning person and will have us up at the ass crack of dawn.” She glanced at the nearest clock and groaned in minor annoyance when she noticed it was already five in the morning. The night had gotten away from her and the nightmares only made her feel more exhausted then before. Sleep just wasn’t going to be an option anymore. She felt a light tug on her hand and she turned to look at Anthy.

“I really don’t mind staying up and talking.”

Utena sighed, “Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad…it’s not like that nightmare is going to let me get anymore shut eye anyways.” She adjusted her back up against the headboard of the bed and leaned into it.

Tranquil silence fell between them while Utena thought back on the various phases of the dream she had had. It felt a bit scrambled now that she had been awake for a while; she wondered why her mind would create such elaborate scenarios. Nothing about the nightmares seemed cohesive, especially not from the start. Both Akio and Anthy looked older at first, even older than they were now, later they were kids and then they were the age she remembered them from Ohtori. Her brow creased as she tried to unscramble the meaning behind the dream but ultimately, she decided to drop it and focus on retelling what she could remember.

“The dream was really weird…and all over the place. Some stuff is already a bit hazy but there was this older city at first. One I’ve dreamed about before.” Utena clasped her hands together and twiddled with her thumb. “The people in the city look like they are from somewhere in India and the first time I dreamed about it…I uh saw you or I think it was you…the person in my dream looked older…” She took a quick glance up at Anthy and she sensed a bit of tension in her. “Older then you do now. Anyways I saw a palace, guards, and even someone who looked like Akio. Everything seemed to be going fine then suddenly the whole town was on fire and Akio was leaving but you stopped him and you said something that made him laugh and he said you had to clean things up and start over.”

Anthy turned to face the wall across from the bed, expression now serious. Utena watched her carefully, waiting to see if she was going to say anything but she didn’t, so she continued to explain the rest of the dreams until she came to the last phase of the nightmare and abruptly stopped. She didn’t want to explain that part of the dream and decided then not to continue.

“Weird right? Wonder if they mean anything.” She eyed Anthy through her peripheral, fidgeting uncomfortably on the bed when she noticed the other woman sitting unnaturally still. Utena couldn’t even tell if she was still breathing, only making her feel more uneasy. Had she said something wrong? Or did the dreams trigger something in Anthy’s past?

“Those are some truly odd dreams.” Came Anthy’s quiet and apathetic reply, “Humans have always tried to find meaning in them but most of the time they don’t mean anything at all. So, I wouldn’t worry too much about them.” A small grin took over the serious look on her features as she faced Utena.

There was a disconnect in Anthy’s smile, it was subtle but Utena had caught it. Part of her wanted to pry but another part of her thought it wasn’t any of her business. “Yeah…I guess you’re right.” She stretched her arms above her head and yawned. “I’m surprised no one has come to wak—”

A knock at the door interrupted their conversation, she turned to the door and pursed her lips inwardly, “Come in!” She called out and the door opened to reveal Miki, already dressed. A blush crawled onto his cheeks as he observed them together on the bed.

“Sorry to disturb you ladies, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m heading back to Los Angeles and that breakfast is ready. Juri and Nanami are already downstairs.”

“Man, I had no idea all of you were morning people.” Utena quipped a bit surprised.

“Well to be honest, Nanami and I couldn’t sleep and I don’t think Juri slept either…she seems a bit irritable this morning.”

“ _Oh great_ …” Utena muttered to herself.

“Well, I’ll be off then. I will meet up with everyone later tonight.” Miki waved goodbye and they waved back before he closed the door.

Utena eyes stayed glued to the door, “Breakfast sounds good.” Anthy gave a small nod in response then shifted towards the edge of the bed and Utena followed her lead; standing up and gliding her feet into a pair of slippers before sauntering towards the door.

The bathroom door closed sharply, startling Utena into glancing over her shoulder. The room stood empty telling her that it was Anthy who had entered the restroom. A calming huff exhaled through her nose and she rolled her shoulders; relaxing her overactive nerves. The tension from last night still lingered but there was no reason to worry now, their enemies had fled and she doubted that they’d attack during broad day-light. With one final glance at the bathroom door she turned back to the exit, quickening her pace out of the room and to the top of the stairs. All the while thinking about how odd Anthy had acted after she had talked about her dream. The thought badgered at her mind, demanding an explanation but that required questioning Anthy, which wasn’t something she was willing to do. She would have to ignore her curiosity for now.

An attendant met Utena at the foot of the stairs and escorted her to the dining hall in the mansion. Juri and Nanami were sitting at the far end of the table, breakfast laid out in front of them. They stopped their conversation to peer over at her as she approached them to take a seat across from Nanami.

At a glance, the two women looked just as tired as her. Juri was dressed in a casual black suit and she had light make up on but that did little to hide the fatigue she carried on her shoulders as she took a sip of her coffee. Nanami looked bitterly miserable compared to Juri, Utena supposed she wasn’t a morning person and the lack of sleep wasn’t doing her any favors.

“Please, help yourself,” Juri motioned at the delectable food displayed on the table. Utena nodded and stood back up to retrieve a plate, piling it up with a generous amount of food before taking her seat.

Nanami watched Utena, a question obviously burning in her eyes. Utena sensed Nanami’s gaze on her and she stopped shoveling food into her mouth to acknowledge her.

“Where’s Himemiya?”

“Up in the room.” Utena answered, picking up the cup of coffee and bringing it up to her lips. “She should be down soon.”

“What were you two doing in there?”

Utena furrowed her eyebrows and regarded Nanami with a confused expression, “Huh?”

Nanami sighed impatiently, “Miki rushed down stairs looking a little flustered. Did he catch you two—”

Utena’s eyes widened and she almost choked on her coffee, “W-what?! No!” She cleared her throat, an embarrassed blush on her cheeks “I mean we were both in bed when he came in but we weren’t doing anything. Why would you think that?” She asked defensively.

The blonde shrugged nonchalantly, “Mmm, no reason,” she took a bite from her food, turning her attention to her phone.

A small amused smile curved onto Juri’s lips but she covered it by sipping her coffee. She placed the mug down and glanced at Utena, “I haven’t heard anything from my team in Japan. Which isn’t a surprise considering the fact that the police are going to want to hold off on the details until they have everything figured out.”

“Are—”

“With that said,” Juri interrupted Utena, “I have arranged travel for you and Himemiya. The flight leaves tonight, giving both of you enough time to gather your things and show up to the airport.”

* * *

At the start of their flight they mainly stuck to small talk, which suited Utena just fine but as the hours passed, she became more and more restless. Ohtori was only a matter of hours away and she wasn’t so certain about facing it anymore. Her leg bounced rhythmically against the floor while her eyes stared out into the dark sky beyond the small window.

After a few more silent minutes Utena stole a quick glance at Anthy; she was sitting perfectly still and calm, her eyes fixed on the television playing _The Secret Life of Pets_. Utena watched the screen for a few minutes then waved her hand in front of Anthy.

“Everything ok?” Anthy asked, pulling the headphones out of her ears.

“Yeah, what about you? Everything ok?”

Anthy regarded Utena with skepticism but the doubt in her expression disappeared when she smiled at her, “I’m fine. You must be excited to revisit Japan after so long.”

A nervous smile appeared on her lips, “Uh-huh…excited. When’s the last time you visited?”

“I haven’t been back since I left. So about 15 years.”

“Same here…”

“Are you nervous?”

Utena’s eyes widened at the question and she swallowed, “N-no,” she answered abruptly, “Juri said the place is surrounded by cops, so I doubt we’ll have too much to worry about.”

“That’s true.” Anthy paused, lacing her fingers together, “But revisiting the past has its dangers.”

She glanced down at Anthy’s fingers and noticed the tension between them. Anthy was anxious, just as anxious as she was, and here she thought the trip wasn’t phasing her at all. “Guess this isn’t going to be fun for either of us, hopefully it’s not a wasted trip.”

Anthy shook her head in agreement, “I’m sure we will find some clues, Akio was never very good at cleaning up his own messes.” Her voice held a tinge of resentment.

Utena’s hands balled into tight fists at the mention of Akio, “Bastard…I’m going to break his face in when I see him.”

“Utena, I understand your anger but please don’t be reckless. He still holds some degree of power and influence over some of the students. We can’t afford to be rash.”

An embarrassed blush appeared on her face as she thought of her oversight, “I know…I was just saying.” She muttered, straightening her back up against the seat and crossing her arms over her chest.

Anthy giggled while watching Utena, who regarded her with a puzzled look, “I’m sorry,” she said, composing herself.

“What’s so funny?”

“ _Oh_ nothing.” Anthy waved a dismissive hand before turning her attention back to the movie in front of her.

Intent blue eyes searched Anthy’s face, looking for any signs that would give away the reason behind her laughter. A small pout appeared on her lips when her search came up empty, “That didn’t seem like nothing…” she muttered, letting her eyes stray away from Anthy and down to the compact control panel situated on the armrest between them. There were three small buttons used for the volume and to shut off the television. Curiosity poked at her thoughts, guiding her finger to the shut off button. She wanted to know what made the other woman laugh but mostly she wanted to keep talking to Anthy since it made her feel more at ease.

With a quick click she turned off the T.V. and removed her hand, she pretended to look out of the window when Anthy glanced in her direction. Utena looked towards the blank screen after Anthy looked away, “You didn’t like the movie?”

The screen suddenly turned back on and resumed playing, “Actually, I’m quite enjoying it. The animals and story are very entertaining.” Anthy answered, eyes focused on the television and a small amused smile pulling at her lips.

Surprise covered Utena’s features as she watched the screen flick back on. It didn’t make any sense; how did it turn back on? She waited a few minutes before reaching for the off button again, the button clicked but the screen stayed on. Puzzled she clicked it again—nothing—so she clicked a third then a fourth time—still nothing—until she went to click on the button a fifth time.

“Ow!” Utena yelped, jerking her hand away from the button after a mild jolt of electricity pricked at her finger. The sudden outburst caused unwanted attention to her and she blushed furiously embarrassed. She pushed her back into the seat trying to hide herself away from the other passengers.

The initial shock and embarrassment subsided after about a minute of silence, allowing her to chance a glance at Anthy; who chuckled as soon as she noticed Utena’s eyes on her. She scowled half-heartedly at Anthy and cleared her throat, “Was that you?” She asked a little irked.

With a slight shrug of her shoulders, Anthy turned to face Utena, “Was what me?”

Utena huffed mildly flustered, there was no way that was all coincidence, “You—the shock and T.V. thing.” Her eyes narrowed, intently assessing Anthy for a reaction.

“Hmm,” Anthy tilted her head thoughtfully to the left, “The wiring must be faulty.” She offered with an innocent smile.

Utena scoffed, “ _Yeah…sure_ it’s the wiring…” she said sarcastically, eyes still watching Anthy carefully.

“Did you want to talk?”

“Huh?”

“Well, you were going out of your way to get my attention. Did you want to keep talking?”

A tinge of pink appeared on Utena’s cheeks, “I wasn’t—I mean I wouldn’t _mind_ talking if you want to but I can wait after your—” her cheeks reddened when Anthy brushed her fingers over her hand.

“We can talk.” The screen to the movie suddenly went black and Utena’s confound gaze jumped from the screen to Anthy and back to the screen. Utena was about to say something but Anthy regarded her with a playful wink and coy smile, effectively rattling her thoughts; which made it easy for her to steer the conversation in another direction.

**

A light blanket of snow covered the streets of the town bordering Ohtori Academy when they arrived at the hotel from the airport. The rest of their plane trip had been filled with interesting conversations mostly about how they had spent the last fifteen years.

Utena had her reservations when it came to trusting Anthy at first but over the course of the last few days things had changed and Anthy had gained some of her trust. Which brought some simplicity to their estranged and complicated relationship.

Their paths couldn’t have been more different after Ohtori, she had fallen into the mundane routine of normal life, while Anthy traveled the world and experienced all it had to offer. Sure, the traveling wasn’t all for fun but she was glad to hear that Anthy had had a good time and even managed to get a handle on her fear of crowds. Although she did mention having bad days but that wasn’t out of the ordinary, everyone has their bad days and Utena understood that better than most.

The water in the shower shut off, bringing her out of her reflection and guiding her attention over to the bathroom door; they had just arrived to the hotel about two hours ago and they were both exhausted, ready to shower and catch a few hours of sleep before entering Ohtori. Unfortunately, only one room had been provided for them to share and so there was only one shower.

Utena slid onto one of the two queen beds once she realized Anthy wasn’t coming out just yet. She had let Anthy shower first partially out of cordiality but mostly because she wanted a few minutes to herself. In order to get a hold of her anxieties concerning Ohtori and to calm her misguided feelings; which were only adding more stress and confusion to her plate.

“I’m all done in there.” Anthy called out as she stepped into the room with nothing on but a white bathrobe.

“Awesome—” She started, stopping abruptly after noticing what Anthy was wearing. Green eyes soon focused on Utena and she couldn’t help but look shyly away, refocusing her eyes to the clothes sitting on the bed. This was getting ridiculous, she felt like a schoolgirl with a crush around Anthy now that some of her initial apprehension had faded. But that wasn’t a complete surprise; she had been attracted to Anthy back at Ohtori and the years had only added to her allure. A deep blush settled on her face as her mind wondered further into her thoughts of Anthy and she had to shake her head in order to force herself out of those feelings. She reminded herself that they were here to investigate the academy and nothing else mattered, plus she had no way of knowing how Himemiya felt or even if what she was feeling was real. It could all just be a response to all the stress and just wanting something or _someone_ to take her mind off of everything.

Utena composed her thoughts and picked up her clothes before hastily disappearing into the bathroom, she kept her face down hoping Anthy wouldn’t see her blushing.

The shower was just what she needed, it effectively calmed all her wild thoughts and grounded her for the first time since they had arrived back in Japan. Now that she felt better, exhaustion quickly settled and she passed out before her head hit the pillow.

-

A sudden pressure to her chest startled her awake, it took her eyes a few seconds to adjust to the darkness in the room. She glanced over to where Anthy was sleeping soundly then leaned up against the headboard and stared into the ceiling. Utena could tell she had been having a nightmare but she couldn’t remember a single thing about it. She sighed quietly in frustration, letting her head loll forward so that her eyes were looking at the bedsheets.

Three light taps knocked at the balcony window and adrenaline instantly ripped through her veins, shocking her system into action. She jumped off the bed and grabbed the sword leaning up against the nightstand between the beds.

The noise woke Anthy up and she was immediately focused on the sliding door that led to the balcony. With a quick glance and nod Utena started to inch her way cautiously to the balcony, fingers tensely wrapped around the hilt of the arming sword. Her heart beat thunderously in her throat making it hard to swallow but that did little to slow her ascent forward.

Three more taps collided with the window and this time they were more aggressive, like the person standing outside was become impatient. Utena positioned her back towards the wall as she reached the sliding door. The curtain kept both them and the intruder from being able to see what was happening on either side. Carefully Utena folded her fingers around the heavy cloth, taking one final look at Anthy who jutted her chin forward in understanding.

With that, Utena pulled back the curtain, instantaneously assuming a defensive stance. Her forehead creased when she caught a glimpse of a large black crow perched on the metal railing of the balcony. The crow jerked its head from left to right as it watched her. Its beak held a round object but she couldn’t quite tell what it was. She took a step forward and the crow dropped the object onto the balcony, cawing loudly before taking flight.

For a second neither of them knew what to do; the weight of the sword soon became heavy and Utena let her arm drop to her side. She flicked one of the light switches on and noticed the object on the ground looked like an apple. She unlocked the sliding door and stepped out onto the balcony, she was just about to reach for the fruit when Anthy came up behind her and grabbed at her shoulder. Pulling her arm gently away from the fruit.

Utena looked curiously at Anthy and she shook her head in response, “You don’t want to touch that. It’s a beach apple.” Anthy moved passed Utena and retrieved the fruit.

“A beach apple?” Utena looked at Anthy with a completely puzzled expression.

Anthy turned the fruit in her hand, intently studying it, “This fruit grows on the most dangerous tree on earth.”

“It doesn’t look dangerous,” she said unconvinced, keeping her eyes on Anthy.

Anthy looked from the fruit to Utena, “This can cause skin to blister just from touch, and consuming it could be lethal.”

“Blisters? Why the hell are you holding it then?”

“It doesn't effect me,” Anthy mentioned as she stepped back into the room to retrieve one of the knives they had brought with them. Utena’s eyes were glued to all of Anthy’s movements; Anthy sensed her watching, “My abilities make me immune to things like this.”

“Really?” She stepped over to the table Anthy had settled in with the knife and fruit. “Sounds useful, can you hook me up with that ability?” She said half-joking.

“Unfortunately, it’s not something I can pass on.” Anthy placed the knife above the fruit and gradually cut into it.

“Why not? Doesn’t magic usually let you put spells on people or things?”

“It was more an accident of birth then magic.” Anthy paused and Utena was just about to ask another question when Anthy continued, “I’m not exactly…human…but I’m sure you already knew that.”

“Yeah…I guess…” Utena had always known that Anthy was different but she never viewed her as anything other than a person with special abilities. The new revelation about her identity seemed more incredible then just accepting magic existed in the world. But then again Anthy had told her she’d been alive for more than a century.

A sense of discontent washed over Utena as she realized that she knew close to nothing about Anthy. She had gotten snippets of who she was by the stories she had revealed and the time they had spent together; but none of that truly gave her a real idea on who Anthy truly was. The thought of her distant dreams roamed into the forefront of her mind and she remembered how Anthy reacted to them. Her lips parted to ask Anthy about the dreams but she abruptly shut her mouth when her blue eyes honed in on the ring Anthy was pulling out of the fruit.

“Wha—is that…”

“Yes, it’s a rose signet ring.”

“Why?”

“It’s an invitation...and warning.”

Neither of them were able to sleep after the odd turn of events following the crow. Anthy mainly sat in bed and observed the ring, while Utena paced anxiously around the room. Stopping periodically to check the clock or peer out the window for any signs of trouble.

The dawning rays of the sun slowly engulfed the darkness and they decided then that it was time to get ready to venture to Ohtori. Juri had given them detailed instructions on where to meet her informants so that they could lead them through the police line and into the academy.

Thirty minutes passed and they were fully dressed, Utena chose to wear a black shirt, grey tactical style pants with enough pockets to conceal some gear and a thick black jacket. Anthy wore comfortable black jeans, a dark purple shirt and a sweater.

They arrived at the rendezvous spot within the hour and contacted Juri’s informants. A man and a woman made their way to them on foot; introducing themselves as detective’s Maeda and Takeda. They gestured for them to follow; the two detectives were dressed in police style uniforms and had badges wrapped around their necks. They looked very official and Utena wondered how Juri could get them to break protocol and allow them anywhere near a crime scene.

The officers told them that the police had completed their initial sweep of the premises and had posted two officers at the front of the academy while the rest of the team left to evaluate the evidence they found. They told them that the investigation would resume later in the afternoon giving them about four hours to roam the rubble at Ohtori.

Takeda split away from the group and headed towards the bridge that connected the park to the front gate of the academy. They stood out of sight waiting for the two officers to walk away from the entrance before walking across the bridge.

“You only have four hours, ideally we want you out of here before that. We are risking a lot, so don’t cut it close.” Maeda’s voice was serious and stern as he spoke to them. They nodded in understanding, thanking them for their help.

Utena stared up at the broken gate and the sudden sense of déjà vu overwhelmed her consciousness; rooting her feet to the fractured concrete below. The image before her was just like the one she had had during one of her most vivid nightmares. She could feel her stomach drop and her throat constrict while the dream played back in her mind. Fear gripped at every inch of her being, successfully derailing her grit and paralyzing her to the spot.

It wasn’t until Anthy intertwined their fingers together that she broke her gaze from the fallen remains of the academy. Utena tightened her hold on Anthy’s hand and managed a shaky smile; silently thanking her.

Utena took in a deep breath, steadily steeling her nerves while her eyes stared up at the place she swore she’d never see again, the place that shattered her childish dreams and opened her eyes to the harsh realities of the world.

Her nightmares felt like they were slowly materializing, every one of her instincts told her to turn around and run. But she couldn’t do that, not while Wakaba and countless others were caught within Akio’s venomous snare.

Anthy took the lead, helping Utena take one cautious step after another, and hand in hand they stepped through the gates, breaking the promise she had made to herself so many years ago.


	9. Missing Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, finally got around to finishing this chapter. It took me a little out of my comfort zone and I did a lot of research both in writing and other topics that are a part of this chapter. Hope the work shows.
> 
> ***This chapter has a section pertaining to suicidal ideations.***

Dark grey clouds suppressed most of the sun’s rays hovering over the remains of Ohtori Academy. The schools once pristine marble buildings were now marred with breaks and cracks that wrapped around like common ivy vines. Black speckles of ash gently flowed between the buildings, carrying the scent of burning embers all throughout the academy.

Utena and Anthy carefully made their way through the rubble, trying their best to find an easy route around the destruction. The school’s walkways were badly damaged and some parts were obstructed by large slabs of jagged concrete that had fallen off of the surrounding buildings.

“Man, this place looks like a war zone…” Utena observed a bit anxiously, squeezing her way between a broken pillar. Anthy just hummed in agreement as she followed close behind Utena, her emerald eyes cautiously observing what was left of the academy.

The hallways echoed eerily with nothing but the sound of their footsteps crunching over the fallen debris. It was too quiet, and the silence was unsettling Utena to the core. There should’ve been an attack by now or a trap laid out, yet, so far all they had found were empty buildings.

Utena took a few clumsy steps and almost rolled her ankle, embarrassed she glanced over her shoulder and noticed Anthy wasn’t behind her. Minor panic tightened around her chest but released as soon as she caught sight of Anthy standing a few feet away, peering into a building through one of its shattered windows. “What is it? Do you see something?”

“It’s nothing.” Anthy answered casually, stepping away from the window to rejoin her on the walkway.

Utena eyed her curiously, patiently waiting for Anthy to talk about what she had seen; but Anthy just shook her head dismissively and walked passed her. Utena didn’t like being brushed-off but didn’t care enough to ask again so she let it go and trudged forward with a relenting sigh.

Silently they resumed the search until they reached the quad and noticed that the central tower had very little structural damage.

Utena regarded the building with disdain, she wished it had come down like most of the other buildings. But instead it stood tall and menacing among the chaos, bringing back vivid images of the past that continued to haunt her. She took in a deep breath and then exhaled steadily, steeling her nerves, fidgeting with the sword harness strapped across her shoulder. “You ready?” She asked and Anthy replied with a nod, stepping towards the tower.

Warily they entered the building, their senses heightened and eyes darting around, looking for any signs of danger. Utena wrapped her fingers tightly around the swords grip, vigilantly approaching the elevator doors. She could feel her heart pounding with anticipation as her finger stretched towards the up arrow on the wall.

“We should take the stairs.”

Utena dropped her hand and turned to face Anthy, giving her a puzzled expression, “ _Why_?”

“It’s safer, follow me.” Anthy briskly made her way to the stairwell and Utena followed reluctantly.

“I fucking hate stairs…” She grumbled, looking up the stairwell to watch Anthy make quick work of the stairs by taking two to three steps at a time.

They finally reached the top floor after what seemed like hours to Utena. Her thighs felt a bit tight from the climb, reminding her of the dueling arena and all its godforsaken stairs.

She scanned the area beyond the stairwell and honed in on the planetarium door that was partially ajar. She glimpsed over at Anthy who brought a finger to her lips and motioned for them to proceed with caution.

The air inside the building now felt stagnant, creating a tight knot in her stomach. Everything was too quiet and she was getting really tired of the amplified silence. Utena stepped in front of Anthy protectively when they arrived at the door, she eyed Anthy one last time before kicking it wide open. Its hinges creaked loudly under the momentum and the doorknob slammed hard against the wall.

They both stood in the doorway, expectantly awaiting an attack, but it never came. The room stood empty, there were no signs of Wakaba or the others. Still they were cautious when they stepped inside to get a closer look. Anthy busied herself by checking out one corner of the room, staying as far away from the couches as possible.

Utena regarded her with a sympathetic expression, she wasn’t surprised by Anthy’s reaction to the couches, they held nothing but torturous memories of her subjugation. A part of her wanted to walk over and comfort her but she decided it would be better to finish their sweep of the room and exit as soon as possible. The planetarium wasn’t exactly her favorite place either.

As they searched, Utena realized that most of the objects within planetarium seemed overly worn, like it had been abandoned far longer than 12 years. She stepped over to a wooden desk and rummage through the drawers for anything useful. Unfortunately, all she found was a bunch of useless paperwork. Frustrated, she tossed the sheets of paper carelessly on top of the desk then turned to Anthy, hoping she was having better luck. “Find anything?”

Anthy ignored her question, completely engrossed in studying a severely damaged painting that was hanging up on the wall. Utena placed her sword back into its sheath and wondered over to Anthy, stopping beside her to observe the painting further.

“What is it?”

“It’s not important,” Came Anthy’s abrupt reply as she turned away from the painting and started for the door, “we should search the rest of the school.” She continued flatly, exiting the room.

“Wait, Himemiya!” Utena called out, a bit irked because her questions had been ignored once again. Anthy had descended down two flights of stairs by the time she had caught up. She placed her hand around Anthys shoulder, stopping her from taking another step. “What’s wrong?”

Anthy made no attempt to get away or reply, she just stood still, eyes focused on the stairs in front of her. Utena waited patiently for her to answer but soon realized it wasn’t going to be that easy. Determined to get a response, she stepped in front of Anthy. “Look if it’s too personal just say so, but I’m kinda in the dark here and I have a feeling that Wakaba and the others aren’t here anymore. So, can you tell me what we are looking for, so we can find it and get the hell out of here?”

Anthy looked honestly perplexed to hear that Utena was able to sense that Wakaba and the others weren’t around. She wrapped her right hand around her left elbow, gazing thoughtfully into blue eyes. “It was a family painting.”

“Family? Like you and Akio?”

“Yes…and our human parents.” Anthy’s voice was low and mournful, “It was the last reminder we had of them…”

Utena’s expression softened, “Himemiya, I’m sorry.” She offered sympathetically, reaching for Anthy’s hand and holding it reassuringly.

“It’s ok.” Anthy tried her best to give Utena a smile, but it wasn’t long before the tears welled up in her eyes, revealing how she truly felt.

Utena hesitantly stepped closer to Anthy, gaging her reaction before placing her arms gently around her in an attempt to comfort her. Anthy instantly buried her face deep in Utena’s chest and sobbed weakly.

At first Utena couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward as she did her best to console her. She understood how important it was to have pictures of her own parents. Especially on those days when she wanted to dwell on the good times and remember their faces more clearly. The awkward feeling soon faded and she held Anthy closer, tenderly stroking her back until she was able to calm herself down.

Despite her curiosity, Utena didn’t press Anthy for any further details on the portrait, it was clear from her reaction that it wasn’t something she’d probably be ready to discuss.

They exited the tower and entered one of the buildings towards the back of the school. Anthy told Utena to look for anything that seemed out of place, which she thought was overly vague. But she didn’t complain and just searched for anything that caught her eye. The deeper they ventured into the school the more she found it odd that Akio had left it unguarded.

Countless theories swam in her head about the reason behind that and she became so consumed by them that it took her a second to realize that Anthy had left the classroom they had been searching through. Utena walked out into the hallway and glanced down to the left of the hall, then the right. Anthy was nowhere in sight.

“Himemiya…? Himemiya?!” Her voice echoed loudly down the corridor, steadily making its way to the end of the hallway, where it was finally swallowed back into the silence. Impulsively, she followed the echo, yelling out Anthy’s name every few steps. Dread coiled around her senses as she checked one empty room after the other. Eventually, she stopped in front of the last door in the hallway and reached for the doorknob. Her fingertips had hardly grazed against the door before she was shoved from behind and into the room. Utena stumbled forward, losing her balance and skidding to her knees.

The sound of a blade cutting through the air kick started her adrenaline and she dodged to the left, barely missing the incoming attack. The Katana clashed hard against the ground with exceptional force, creating a small crater right underneath the tip of the blade. 

Utena staggered to her feet bumping into the blackboard behind her, where she was forced to evade two more incoming swings. Her assailant was wearing an all-black uniform just like those who had attacked them back at Juri’s mansion. The man rabidly swung his Katana at her, making it impossible for her to reach for her sword.

The duelist was becoming more and more agitated with every missed strike and Utena knew she couldn’t avoid his attacks forever. She desperately looked around the room, trying to think of anything that would help her situation.

The man’s wild swings caused him to make a split-second mistake, giving her the chance to jump over one of the desks and kick it directly against his hip. Stopping his attacks long enough for her to unsheathe her sword and run out into the hallway.

She didn’t even have a second to think before a female duelist rushed her from the left. Sparks bounced of their blades from the sheer ferocity of their swings. The new duelist wasn’t very skilled and she knew she could break through her defenses, but she needed to wait for the right opportunity.

Utena parried an incoming attack, lunging forward to hook the tip of her blade into the knuckle guard of her opponent’s sword. She then swung her sword in an upward ark, successfully disarming the duelist. The blade hit the ground with a loud clang that rang down the hallway.

The duelists raised her hands up, bracing herself against Utena’s incoming blade but her attack was interrupted when the male duelist approached her from behind, forcing her to turn around and block his Katana. She parried the following few swings, back stepping away from the frenzy while she searched for a weakness.

Utena was finally given an opening after feigning a few sword swings and was just about to lunge forward with a counter attack when the female duelist thrusted a kick into her ribs. The impact to her side sent her barreling to the left and into a wall. The duelists wasted no time in continuing their blitz, finally slashing Utena’s left bicep.

She could feel the blood trickle down her arm and was glad she had moved out of the way just in time to avoid any serious injuries. Regardless, her situation was dire, she was at a disadvantage and the narrow hallway was making it difficult to dodge both attackers.

She deliberately maneuvered around the duelists until her back was facing the center stairwell. Outnumbered she fled towards the stairs, trying to find some cover so she could pull out the handgun she had concealed in one of her pockets.

She reached the top of the stairs but was then kicked from behind, the momentum took her to the bottom of the first flight of stairs. Shakily she sat up, taking advantage of the distance by pulling out the handgun and firing off three rounds. Two bullets penetrated the male’s chest, killing him instantly, but the final bullet missed the female completely.

The woman took cover behind a wall and Utena cautiously got to her feet, keeping the gun aimed at her enemy. She picked up her sword placing it back in its sheath before sprinting down the rest of the stairs and exiting the building.

She knew she was vulnerable out here in the open but there was no way of knowing if there were more duelists hiding inside the building. She stopped to look around then noticed a second pair of duelists heading towards her from the center tower.

With her options limited she started to run to the dueling arena. Her heart pounded violently in her chest and her lungs burned from overexertion, but she had to keep going. There was no way she could take on all three duelists at once, not even with a gun, she just wasn’t that confident in her aim.

Fear covered Utena’s face when she peered over her shoulder and watched the three duelists rapidly gaining on her.

_Fuck!_

She turned back around and lengthened her stride, trying to push her body to its limit. She reached the forest gate and tried to pry the door open but it wouldn’t budge. Frantically, she searched through her pockets until she found the rose signet ring they had received back at the hotel. The ring slipped flawlessly onto her finger and she opened the door.

Utena stared up at the winding staircase and swallowed hard, she had a feeling this was a trap and exactly what Akio wanted. But there really was no other choice, she had to ignore the warnings in her head and climb up the stairs.

She got about halfway up the staircase before she was completely exhausted and had to start walking. She glanced over her shoulder, half-expecting to see the duelists, but they were nowhere in sight, giving her a second to relax and catch her breath. The adrenaline in her body gradually eased up and she examined the surroundings.

Torches lined the path up to the dueling arena platform and were the only source of light now that the sun had gone down. The torchlight danced around the marble walls as Utena stepped closer to the dueling arena’s entrance gate. She stopped right underneath the gate and tried to adjust her vision to the dim lighting. Unfortunately, there weren’t enough torches to encompass the whole arena; leaving most of the structure in complete darkness.

Attentively she stepped into the arena, tightly gripping the gun in her right hand. She kept her eyes busy, searching for the enemy she was sure lurked within the shadows. 

A sound to the left surprised her and she quickly brandished the gun in its direction. She fixated on the darkness, impatiently waiting for her target to appear but all she was greeted with was more silence.

Her chest rose and fell with trepidation, finger trembling eagerly on the trigger, ready to fire.

Footsteps sounded behind her and she faced it, abruptly pulling the trigger when she saw something move. The gunfire pierced blaringly through the unnatural silence of the arena, effectively breaking her concentration and allowing an unknown enemy the chance to kick the gun out of her hand and knock her down to her knees.

Utena could hear multiple steady footsteps prowling at a distance, she had more than one person to worry about. She reached for her sword and unsheathed it just in time to block an attack from an incoming broadsword. The force of the strike made her knees skid across the floor. Her attacker pulled back his sword and she jumped to her feet, ready to counter the next strike but the enemy had retreated back into the shadows.

Ringing footsteps sounded from her right and she turned to face her foe, parrying their attack. The attacker quickly vanished back into the darkness and she gripped her sword awaiting the next lunge. Everything stood still for several unnerving seconds and then the onslaught started again. The attacks became more coordinated and she soon saw a pattern in them.

They were attacking her in a clockwise sequence which told her she was completely surrounded. The longer the fight went on the more she realized she couldn’t see anything but the enemy’s swords.

She tried to break the pattern by launching an attack in a counter clockwise direction, her sword hit its mark. Metal clinked against the arena floor and Utena caught sight of a rapier on the ground, blood slowly swallowing the blade.

The rapier was identical to the one she used in the past, but she was sure Akio had shattered it during the last duel. A small ache started in her heart and soon it spread across her body, intensifying with every second that passed. The pain was becoming unbearable and she could hardly keep herself from dropping to the ground.

Thousands of voices started to whisper incoherently around the arena, ricocheting from one end to the other. Her eyes searched the arena for the source of the now ear-splitting sound but she could see nothing. The darkness still covered most of the stage and the searing pain was making it hard to concentrate on anything at all.

Soon Utena was on her hands and knees again, no longer able to withstand the mind-numbing agony coursing through every fiber of her being.

This all reminded her of her countless nightmares: the pain, the school, the voices, they were all the same. Had she somehow passed out? Was she dreaming now?

At this point she wished it was nothing but a dream and that she’d wake from it soon.

She pressed her forehead hard against the concrete below, trying to alleviate the blistering headache that hammered at her skull. The cold ground managed to give her a second of relief, clearing her mind long enough to hear multiple footsteps tapping against the ground. Step by step the enemy inched closer, she jerked her head up and watched luminescent green eyes surrounding her on all sides.

Six duelists in all black garb encircled her, swords brandished and ready to strike.

Unsteadily she raised her sword in a futile attempt to protect herself. One of the duelists stepped forward and kicked her arm hard enough to dislodge the blade from her hand, sending the steel skidding across the floor and out of reach.

Gradually, every duelist lifted their swords in an almost ceremonial stance. Utena watched them and knew she should be afraid, but all she could feel was pain. Pain that was slowly boiling into anger and frustration.

This was all too familiar and she couldn’t help but feel disillusioned; she thought she had become stronger over the years and that things would be different. But she was _still_ too weak -just like back then- she was _still_ going to fail -just like back then- it was all the same and nothing had changed.

Her hands tightly balled into fists and she gritted her teeth, letting that realization sink in deeper and deeper, until all she could feel was rage.

Without warning the duelists’ swords simultaneously flew through the air in a downward arc, hungrily reaching for their target.

Utena’s muscles tensed in anticipation and she shut her eyes when a surge of splintering pain pulled at her skin. Time slowed down and the anguish continued to build until all her senses went numb.

A loud ringing in her ears kept her from hearing anything but the beating of her own heart. Its rhythmic pattern echoed uninterrupted and was only broken by the thunderous echoing of metal clamoring to floor.

Utena slowly raised her head and her eyes froze when she saw the carnage in front of her. Five of the duelists struggled to free themselves from their individual tomb of swords that held them up right, their gargled screams of torture drove a trembling chill down her spine; freezing her to the ground. 

The scene evoked the memory of Anthy being consumed by the swords of hate and Utena almost felt bad for them. That sentiment was soon pushed out of her thoughts when the remaining duelist rushed her, bringing her back into the fight.

His uniform was drenched in blood and some of it dripped onto the floor with every move he made, she couldn’t believe that he was still standing.

Utena evaded her foes attacks, playing defense until she managed to grab hold of one the swords that had been thrusted deep into the fallen duelists. She ripped the blade out of the body, and she had to duck to evade being hit by her enemy’s sword, which ended up cutting into the chest of the lifeless body she was standing next to. The blood splattered against her face, temporarily obstructing her vision and giving the duelist the chance to slash her left forearm.

She staggered back, wiping the blood off her face before she continued to parry and dodge his attacks. Her strength was waning, and she felt extremely tired, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this up.

Utena tried a counter-attack but it failed, leaving her wide open. The enemy wasted no time in taking advantage of her mistake and went for the opening, his sword aiming straight for her heart. She braced herself for the inevitable. Then suddenly the duelist was pushed back by an invisible force, hurtling his body straight into the far wall.

_What the hell…_ Utena took a step back, her throat going dry as she watched Anthy appear in front of the duelist. Slowly, Anthy brought her hand up and the duelist’s body followed until he was hovering a few feet above the ground.

Anthy’s violet hair fanned out around her as if she were hovering underwater and her skin almost appeared luminescent, giving her an unnaturally dark glow.

Even from where she was standing, Utena could feel the dark aura emanating from her. It took her a second to shake off the shock and finally rush to Anthy’s side.

The duelist coughed, his arms and feet flailing around as he attempted to escape.

“Where is Akio?” Anthy demanded.

Utena drew back from the intensity in her voice. It was now a deeper huskier tone that boomed and echoed with the authority of a higher power. She sounded vicious and very impatient.

“I…don’t…know...” He choked out, fingers scratching at his throat trying to pry himself away from the invisible force.

“Lies!” Anthy jerked her free arm to the left, simultaneously breaking his left leg. He screamed and yelled in anguish. “Now, tell me where he is.”

“Fuck...you…!” Anthy’s grip tightened around the man’s neck, causing his face to gradually turn blue and his eyes to bulge slightly out of their sockets. She brought him back down and pushed him against the wall, stepping closer so that their eyes could meet. “I’ll only ask one last time,” she glared menacingly into his brown eyes, “where is he?”

Despite him struggling for air, he still taunted Anthy, grinning wickedly at her, “Not…here… that’s… for...sure…” he rasped mockingly.

Unsatisfied with his answer, Anthy went through with her threat, thrusting her palm against his forehead and pressing her fingers into the top of his head.

“Wha—what are you doing? No, stop!” His voice pleaded, “I’ll tell you! I’ll tell you!” Slowly the panic in his voice gave way to complete hysteria and he begged for his life.

Utena watched in horror as blood started to spill out from the man’s eyes and ears. She swallowed hard building up the courage to step closer to Anthy. “H-hey…he said he’d tell us, you can stop.” She waited a few seconds, but Anthy didn’t even flinch. “Himemiya? Hey, are you listening?” Utena reached for her hand and that finally got Anthy to acknowledge her.

Anthy’s eyes shone with an ominous violet light, which completely unnerved Utena, but she held her ground and gently caressed her hand with her thumb.

“Himeimiya—Anthy let him go, we need him.”

The luminescence in Anthy’s eyes steadily faded away, revealing her emerald eyes. She regarded Utena with an apologetic stare before turning away and safely guiding the duelist to the ground.

***

The plastic cover on the steering wheel crunched under the pressure of her fingers flexing and unflexing around it. Something about the sensation kept her eyes open and safe from drifting off the road as it stretched out endlessly in front of her.

Her eyes drifted to the rear-view mirror, catching a quick glimpse of the looming tower above Ohtori. She was still having a hard time wrapping her head around what she had witnessed there and wanted to bombard Anthy with countless questions. But her curiosity would have to wait until after they arrived back at the hotel, since Anthy had fallen asleep in the car.

Periodically she would glance over at her, checking for any signs of distress. The school and interrogation had completely drained her and Utena couldn’t help but worry about her condition.

Their journey back to the car had been a difficult one because Utena had to carry Anthy for more than half of the trip. She remembered how frail and pale Anthy looked in her arms and it made her stomach twist with dread.

A hospital sign came into view and she thought about pulling over but decided against the idea. She had suggested the hospital back at Ohtori but Anthy had argued against it. Insisting that she’d be fine after some rest.

Utena rubbed her eyes and inhaled sharply, trying to refocus her attention on the long winding road ahead. The streets leading back to the hotel were empty, yet, somehow the trip felt like it was taking forever. Which she supposed was in part due to her exhaustion and desire to be as far away from Ohtori as possible.

The car steadily moved along the road, while she tried her best to ignore all the questions swimming around in her head. But despite her best efforts Utena couldn’t keep her mind from wondering back to them.

She replayed their experience with the man they had questioned and she tried to decipher his confusing riddles. Which were only made more cryptic by the use of different languages.

_Lost within the beginning…trapped inside…unmoving…split and incomplete…_

It didn’t make sense and the more she lingered on it the more her head felt jumbled. He had spoken at least three languages, she couldn’t understand. One she recognized as Latin but the other two she was unsure of, she hoped Anthy might have some better insight.

All her muscles tensed up when her peripheral caught sight of Anthy fidgeting uncomfortably in the seat next to her. She honed in on her every move until Anthy settled back down and continued sleeping, letting her ease back into the seat and continue driving.

Thirty minutes passed before they finally arrived at the hotel, Utena parked the vehicle then made her way over to the passenger side to help Anthy.

She held the car door open, “Feeling any better?”

“A little.” Anthy murmured, unbuckling her seatbelt and taking Utena’s hand to assist her out of the car.

“You ok to walk?” Utena closed the door, attentively watching Anthy in case she needed any help.

“I should be fine, thank you.” She said weakly.

Utena nodded in response and they both walked steadily into the hotel lobby. They received a few concerned looks from the staff but Utena waved a dismissive hand and smiled. Keeping the staff from getting any closer and asking questions.

They reached their room uninterrupted and she was glad to finally get a chance to rest without having to look over her shoulder. Utena took a seat on one of the available chairs and kicked off her boots, doing her best not to watch Anthy but it didn’t take long for her to get caught.

Anthy smiled politely at her from the bed, “I’m ok.” She offered reassuringly.

Utena rubbed the back of her neck and instantly winced when pain surged up her bicep from the injury she had sustained at the academy. Anthy’s smile faded and she started to get up, but Utena gestured for her to sit and relax. “It’s just a minor cut.” She stood up, removing her jacket to reveal the bloodied bandages covering both her bicep and forearm. The concern on Anthy’s face grew but Utena dismissed it with a grin, “I’m gonna go take a shower and clean this up.”

With that she escaped into the bathroom, not giving Anthy enough time to do anything other than nod.

In the privacy of the bathroom she let the grim reality of their situation settle. This trip to Japan was supposed to answer questions not create new ones, but that’s all it did. Which in hindsight should’ve been a given. Nothing involving Akio and Anthy can ever be straight forward, she should’ve known that going in.

She let out an exasperated huff and cleared the troubles out of her head. There was no point in hanging onto these vexations, they would only cloud her mind further and right now that was the last thing she needed. She refocused her efforts around her injuries, they needed to be cleaned up and she was sure that the one on her forearm needed stitches.

Utena gripped the bottom of her shirt and slowly brought it up over her head, taking great care not to lift her injured arm up to high. She discarded the shirt on the ground and carefully started removing the bandages. After the bandages were off, she realized that the wounds were nothing but minor cuts, but that didn’t make any sense. She was certain the duelists swords had cut deeper into her skin and the blood-soaked bandages proved that. _Great…just another mystery to add to the list._

She rubbed her eyes and decided to shove those unanswered questions to the back of her mind; compartmentalizing them to be solved another day. She hopped in the shower and rebandaged the cuts after changing into a comfortable grey t-shirt and black sports shorts. Anthy was still sitting on the bed when she reentered the room.

“Hope I didn’t take too long, I’m sure you want a shower too.” Utena smiled at Anthy and she returned it, slowly standing from the bed and walking towards her.

“Yes, a shower sounds lovely.” Anthy disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door gently behind her.

Utena occupied her time by laying down on her bed and playing on her phone. She knew she should text Juri and the others about what had happened but she also didn’t want to explain everything through text. Plus, she didn’t exactly have the whole story, she still needed to ask Anthy about what happened to her after they got separated and what was going on with her at the dueling arena.

The bright screen on the phone irritated her eyes after about 15 minutes of use and she put it down on the nightstand between the beds. She really wanted to take a nap but her curiosity kept her up, patiently waiting for Anthy to finish up with her shower.

Another 10 minutes passed before the showerhead in the bathroom turned off and Anthy returned into the room wearing a comfortable pair of black pajamas. Utena glanced at her once then trained her eyes on the ceiling above, extending her arms above her head in a long stretch.

“How was your shower?” She asked, still staring up at the ceiling.

Anthy took a brush to her hair, “It was nice, I’m feeling better.”

“That’s good, I was a bit worried.”

Anthy took a seat on her queen bed, face slightly downcast towards the sheets and hands still working at the knots in her hair, “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

Utena turned to regard Anthy with a confused expression, “Why are you apologizing? It’s not like you can control what I feel.”

“It’s just a habit I suppose…” She murmured.

Utena sat up on the bed crossed legged, body facing Anthy, “Yeah guess it’s hard to break old habits huh?” Anthy only offered her a nod in response, keeping her hands occupied with her hair. Utena watched the comb bristles vanish in and out of purple curls; remembering just how much upkeep was needed to have long hair and feeling glad she didn’t have to deal with that anymore.

She cleared her throat when her curiosity returned, “Hey…so I was wondering if you knew what languages that guy spoke. I like understood what he was saying in Japanese and English but couldn’t keep up when he switched it up.”

A minute passed silently between them, then Anthy placed the comb down on the bed and looked up at Utena. Her eyes were dark and serious, revealing her displeasure with the topic change.

“Arabic, Latin and Hindi.”

“Could you understand him?”

A reluctant sigh escaped Anthy’s lips, “Yes, but it was a bit…cryptic.”

Utena’s lip quirked into an unsatisfied smile, “It can never be easy, can it?”

Anthy nodded in agreement, “Nothing involving Akio ever is.”

An unintentional sneer appeared on her face at the mere mention of Akio but it faded into a soft grin when Anthy chuckled at her reaction, “You think you can figure it out?” She asked trying to steer the attention away from her not so subtle hate towards her brother.

Anthy nodded, “It’ll take some time, but yes.”

Utena rubbed the side of her face, thinking of how to word the next question. She shifted her weight on the bed, rocking a bit forward and back. Anthy watched her, expression slowly turning solemn; like she knew what Utena was going to ask next. “What—"

She averted her eyes, “It’s complicated.” Her tone was short.

Utena furrowed her brow, “Um, ok.” She extended her legs off the bed, straightening out her back, “Can you at least try to explain it?”

Anthy stood up and walked to one of the nearby windows, eyes attentive to the world outside of the hotel.

She rubbed her temple and shook her head, before exhaling loudly, “What happened to being up front?”

“It’s just magic,” She clasped her hands in front of herself, “nothing to be concerned about.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” What she had seen at the dueling arena was obviously connected to magic but there was something else there, something...malicious, that Anthy had trouble controlling. Utena leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees, she debated on how to proceed. She had been tolerant of Anthy’s deflections, doing her best to give her space but it didn’t seem like that was going to get her very far. “You really aren’t making this whole trust thing easy.”

Anthy looked at Utena’s back through the reflection on the window but said nothing.

Utena snickered, “We really are nothing but strangers, huh?”

That remark got under Anthy’s skin, causing her to finally turn around and face her. Anthy’s lips parted to speak but then closed, thinking twice about what she was about to reveal.

Feeling Anthy’s gaze on her back, Utena, glanced over her shoulder, observing how timid and harmless she seemed. It almost made her think she had imagined everything she had seen back at the dueling arena. Because that Anthy looked nothing like the person in the room with her now, that Anthy was a completely different being; one that exuded immense power and authority.

A spine-tingling sensation passed through her at the thought and she had to turn away, rubbing her arms to stop the goosebumps from spreading.

“Are you afraid?”

“Why…should I be?”

Anthy stepped away from the window and took a seat next to Utena on the bed, “I don’t want you to be…” she laid her hands on her lap, her fingers smoothing out the fabric of her pajama pants.

Utena followed Anthy’s fingers anxiously work at the invisible wrinkles on her clothes. It was clear that whatever was going on in her mind was weighing heavily on her heart.

“but…I can’t—I mean I wouldn’t…” Anthy let out a frustrated sigh and pinched the skin between her thumb and forefinger. She started to pinch so tightly that her nails nicked at the skin, creating two small cuts. Utena watched as Anthy continued to tweak at the skin despite the cuts, compelling her to reach over and hold her hand. Anthy flinched at the unexpected touch then wrapped her fingers gently around Utena’s hand, “I’m sorry.”

Utena caressed Anthy’s hand with her thumb, “It’s ok—”

“No, it’s not,” she met Utena’s gaze, her eyes revealing sadness and regret, “I’ve been lying to you…” She looked down at her lap and focused on their hands.

“About what?” There was a hint of disappointment in Utena’s voice but she didn’t let go of Anthy’s hand. This conversation was doomed to go smoothly from the very beginning and she had become so accustomed to being let down that this hardly came as a surprise. She was honestly more surprised at the fact that Anthy was actually opening up to her.

“Looking for you all these years, I knew exactly where you were the moment you left. I even visited you when you were at the hospital…I was the one who told the doctors who you were and how to get a hold of your aunt.”

“That doesn’t make any sense you said you couldn’t use your magic when you first escaped Ohtori, how could you’ve known where to find me.”

“The swords.”

“The swords?”

“Yes, the swords connect us,” Anthy took in a short breath, “that’s how I found you so quickly.”

Utena thought back on her stay at the hospital, she had always assumed the staff had found an I.D. or other information on her that led them to her identity and contacting her aunt. But now that she truly thought about it, the hospital never returned any personal items after she was discharged. She continued to linger on the past, recalling any moments that didn’t quite add up and she remembered all the time she spent talking to Aurora at the end of almost every party she attended during college. “That was you…”

Anthy regarded Utena with a bit of confusion, unsure of what she meant.

“I always had a feeling, but I couldn’t prove it and I was always so drunk that I just decided I imagined it. I wasn’t with Aurora during those nights in college, that was you…wasn’t it?”

Anthy nodded.

She laughed dryly, “Well, that makes me feel a bit less crazy.” She furrowed her eyebrows, her eyes clear and inquisitive as they stared back into Anthy’s, “Why did you wait 12 years to reveal yourself?”

Anthy broke their eye contact, “That wasn’t by choice…the swords kept me away. If it had been up to me, I would’ve been by your side when you woke at the hospital.” She squeezed Utena’s hand a little tighter, “You were in a stable condition when I first visited you in intensive care but your health drastically deteriorated the longer I stayed. It was then that I realized that the swords were reacting to my presence. So, I had to stay away.”

Utena didn’t believe or understand what Anthy said at first, but it didn’t take long for her to put the pieces together. The rage, the nightmares and the scars were all symptoms of the swords and its curse.

Fate had once again dealt her a losing hand and she had inherited the curse she had worked so hard to free Anthy from.

Utena couldn’t sit still after all the new information she was given so she stood up and started pacing near the foot of the bed. “Ok but what does this have to do with what happened in the arena?” She stopped her pacing and faced Anthy who sat calmly on the bed.

“The swords heighten strong thoughts and emotions, usually causing very impulsive decisions that eventually become violent and self-destructive. The only reason why it didn’t affect you as much, initially was because you escaped Ohtori. The further you are from a magical source the more deluded its effects become.” Anthy shifted uncomfortably in the bed. “My link to magic helped me keep the swords influence at bay but I still had to have self-restraint. I couldn’t let myself feel a single thing or I risked unleashing them, which is what happened to you at the arena.”

“So, what you’re saying is that I killed all those duelists?”

“Yes.”

Utena swallowed hard and returned to her pacing, if her unhinged emotions could cause that much damage what else was she capable of? Was this something she’d be able to control?

An uncomfortable pressure started to build in her stomach and she felt like she was going to be sick. This curse was dangerous… _she_ was dangerous.

_I can’t go home_

That devastating realization destroyed the only fragment of normality she had held onto all these years. Her friends, her family and the town she had latched onto for support was no longer something she could count on. Involving them meant willingly placing them at risk and that just wasn’t an option.

Her skin ran hot and the room started to feel too small, she needed a break, this was all becoming too much. Utena walked over to the sliding door leading to the balcony and stepped outside. The cold winter breeze nipped aggressively at her skin but she didn’t care, it was better than standing inside a cramped room.

She rested her palms against the metal railing of the balcony, which was covered with a small layer of snow. The snow melted underneath her hands and she watched the liquified ice travel down the banister.

This whole situation felt hopeless, how was she supposed to help anyone when she could hardly help herself? When a curse threatened to end not just her life but the life of those around her?

Pins and needles pricked at the bottom of her bare feet as they gradually became numb. She looked over the edge of the balcony, watching some people walking on the sidewalk 10 feet below.

Her eyes glazed over as she surveyed the scenery, the streetlights steadily blurring together with all the other details on the street. It would be so easy to climb over this railing and just jump; leaving all her troubles behind and never worrying about hurting or disappointing anyone ever again. It really would be so easy…

Utena’s grip tightened around the railing as those dark thoughts threatened to swallow her whole.

_-“Do it!”-_

_-“Coward!”-_

_-“You won’t do it, you’re too selfish and only care about yourself!”-_

She gritted her teeth, bracing herself against the loud voices echoing inside of her head. Their threats and insults weren’t any less maddening now that she knew they were real and not just a manifestation of her imagination.

The freezing temperature outside eventually numbed her whole body, effectively severing the ties she held with the current reality. Rationality was no longer at the forefront of her priorities, giving the voices free range of her thoughts.

_-“Jump! It’ll be easy”-_

_-“You’re doing everyone a favor.”-_

Utena sighed, her breath creating a cloud of smoke in front of her face as she pressed her stomach against the railing. An unexpected feeling of warmth brought shivers down her spine, freeing her from the curse’s demented maze inside her head. She glanced over her shoulder to see Anthy embracing her from behind.

“Please don’t listen to them.” Anthy laid her forehead gently on Utena’s back.

The pleading concern in Anthy’s voice helped her relax, easing her grip on the railing until her arms fell to her side.

Anthy slowly guided her away from the balcony and back into the hotel room, where they both took a seat back on the bed.

“Can you still hear them?” Utena asked, looking somberly into emerald eyes.

Anthy shook her head side to side, knowing that she was asking about the voices, “No, but I can sometimes sense your distress. It’s part of the connection and I’m very familiar with the signs.”

Utena’s shoulders fell and she slouched forward. This situation made her think of the time she had narrowly saved Anthy from jumping off the top of the central tower in Ohtori. It seemed like they were repeating the same mistakes from back then, but with minor role reversals like this one.

The universe sure enjoyed torturing them.

Utena coughed and it sent goosebumps throughout her body, coaxing her to wrap her arms around herself in an attempt to keep herself warm. Anthy noticed her discomfort and stood up, pulling at the bed sheets to bring them around Utena’s shoulders.

Utena cleared her throat and pulled the sheets closer to her body, dipping her chin down so that the blanket partly covered her face. Embarrassment had now replaced the misery and she couldn’t help but scold herself for ever letting things get so far. This wasn’t how she wanted to live her life, she didn’t want to be ruled by a curse that would chip and break at her soul until she didn’t recognize herself.

Things needed to change and that change had to start now or she wouldn’t be able to save anyone, not even herself. She needed to push past the heavy scars of her past.

She swallowed hard, already struggling to form the words she needed to say, “There has to be trust between us,” Her tired eyes looked pleadingly into Anthy’s, “No more lies, no more half-truths.”

Anthy brushed a lock of hair out of her face, pinning it behind her ear. She was uncomfortable, these types of conversation had never been easy for her and after a century of pretending she had no emotions really stunted her ability to communicate honestly.

Utena’s look softened after noticing the hesitation in Anthy’s body language, “Anthy, I’m sorry, for the way I acted when we first met up at the park and for the way I treated you after you had opened up to me. I know how hard it is to let someone in and I acted like a complete asshole to you.” She released the hold she had on the blankets, letting her hands drop to her lap, “For twelve long years I blamed you for everything that ever went wrong in my life. At times I even convinced myself that I hated you more than Akio, just so that I could ignore how I really felt.” She drew in a long breath, her throat dry and constricted. “The truth is that not one day passed without you crossing my mind…” a soft blush appeared on her face and she averted her eyes, too nervous to continue looking at Anthy directly.

A fluttering feeling tickled Anthy’s stomach and her fingers flexed, yearning to bring their hands together, “I thought a lot about you as well.” She took in a short breath, her demeanor unsettled as she put her thoughts together, “Dios and I…come from a long line of powerful beings that were descended from some of the oldest gods. We are neither human or god, and our purpose in life was to help watch over the prosperity of life on Earth.” She paused, gently pressing her tongue between her teeth.

Utena’s eyebrow quirked, she already had a handful of questions but she replaced her incredulous expression for a neutral one; patiently waiting for Anthy to continue.

“As part of our training we were paired up with a human family in order to understand their customs and assimilate among them. We both became very attached to the family and loved them dearly. They were the ones in that painting…Dios made it for me after noticing how much I missed them.” A reminiscent look appeared on Anthy’s face while she fondly thought back on those simpler times. She shook her head softly, pulling herself out of her reverie, “Once we were old enough, we left that town and traveled country to country, indirectly influencing leaders so that their kingdoms would flourish. Regrettably, overtime, this comfortable existence crumbled because of human nature and as retribution for our failure the gods abandoned the world. In their absence we did our best but our power just wasn’t enough…”

Utena watched her closely, listening with rapt interest.

Anthy’s fingers curled around the edge of the bed and she focused on the door leading out of the hotel, “The failure consumed Dios, and in his despair, he made a deal with a dark entity known as a Veatala. It granted him power in exchange for its freedom and we used his new acquired abilities to help towns reestablish themselves amongst the chaos. Unfortunately, the Veatala’s power had negative effects on Dios and it corrupted his soul until it was split in two. In a sense both pieces were identical, the only difference was that one was obsessed with perfection and the other with power.” She glanced over at Utena, “At first Dios was able to control Baetaal but over time his obsession with perfection and saving everyone weakened his capabilities and he became very ill. I stepped in between him and those who abused his kindness in an attempt to save his life and I was cursed for it.” Anthy’s throat constricted and she could feel the warning sting of tears building behind her eyes, “Dios disappeared from the world then, leaving me and his other half behind. I followed Baetaal around the world in search of a way to bring Dios back. We changed our identities from city to city and the longer we searched the deeper his anger and resentment became for everything and everyone.” She sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that defiantly streamed down her face, “He ceased to be any part of the Dios I once knew but I couldn’t leave him…he was all I had left.”

Utena reached over and clasped Anthy’s hand in hers. She didn’t like seeing her cry and wished there was an easier way to do things.

“He still meant so much to me and I didn’t care how much he hurt me as long as we were still together.” Anthy tightened her fingers around Utena’s hand, “After years of searching we finally figured out a way to reach Dios but couldn’t do it on our own and that’s when the duels were created. They took place at different schools all round the world.” Anthy reached up to rub the stray tears from her cheeks and tilted her head forward. The fierce sympathy burning in Utena’s eyes made her feel vulnerable and she was afraid of how she would respond to everything she had just confessed. Still, it was too late to take it back now and she was sick and tired of hiding behind a mask. “What you witnessed back in the arena is a part of me…”

“Do you struggle to control it?”

“Normally no, but I was reacting to the swords and you.”

Utena furrowed her brow, “Because of the connection?” Anthy nodded in response but kept her face down. She pressed her lips into a tight line, it was more than clear that Anthy was scared of being shunned for who she truly was. “Anthy…” she paused, hoping Anthy would finally look at her but she didn’t. “A lot happened back at Ohtori…things I didn’t understand…things that scared me.” She felt Anthy start to let go of her hand but Utena held on a little tighter, not letting her pull away. “But I get it now and know that the fear I felt was misplaced.” Utena’s heartrate increased, was she really ready to say this out loud? To admit her feelings not just to herself but to Anthy? She swallowed hard, “I want you to know that I’ll be here for you no matter what happens because I…I…” she stumbled over her words, trying to find the right way to convey her feelings. Anthy glanced up at Utena quizzically, her eyes asking why she had stopped speaking mid-sentence. Utena only then realized how close their faces were and peered down at Anthy’s lips. What she was feeling was difficult to put into words and she had always been better at showing rather than telling.

Without giving it a second thought Utena leaned in, closing the distance between them and gently pressed their lips together. Her heart was thundering in her chest when she tried to pull away but Anthy wrapped her arms around her neck, locking her in place.

The touch of Anthy’s soft lips gliding against her own was euphoric, making the drumming in her chest intensify with every caress. She hadn’t expected her advances to lead them down this path, and her logical side was trying to get her to pull away; to remind her that she still had plenty of questions left unanswered. But she couldn’t bring herself to care about those problems right now, not while Anthy’s entrancing lips pressed so firmly against hers.

Anthy then nibbled at her lower lip, gently asking for entrance and Utena allowed it. Their tongues met for a moment, sliding over one another and the sweet sensation coerced a soft breathy moan out of Anthy.

The sound melted some of Utena’s anxieties and hesitations, encouraging her to deepen the kiss and slowly guide Anthy down onto the mattress. Entangled in each other, they adjusted themselves a little closer to the center of the bed, keeping their lips stubbornly glued together, neither of them willing to break apart.

Utena stayed propped up over Anthy, her hands and knees pressed firmly against the mattress below as they continued to kiss. This moment was something that had crossed her mind hundreds of times, it was something she had denied herself from daydreaming about for over 12 long years. And now that it was happening, that she had finally given into the need and the longing, she wished it could’ve happened sooner.

Having Anthy this close somehow made her feel happy, safe and…excited. The thought brought a blush to her cheeks, the warming sensation gradually traveling down to every inch of her body. Causing subtle goosebumps to rise down her spine.

She wanted to get closer, to feel Anthy’s body against her own and breathe in the intoxicating scent of her caramel skin. But she stopped herself, uncertain of how much was too much and if Anthy even wanted to take things any further.

Anthy, taking note of the shift in her behavior, slipped her hands off her neck and placed them by her hips. Wrapping her fingers around the fabric of her shirt and pulling it down towards her; urging her to come closer. It took a few more affirmative tugs to convince Utena to finally reposition herself between Anthy’s legs, who wasted no time in wrapping her legs around her hips and pulling her in.

Utena wasn’t expecting the sudden shift and let out a surprised hum as she braced her arms on either side of Anthy’s head; trying not to drop her full weight on top of her. Anthy chuckled softly against her lips, obviously amused by her reaction and Utena took the chance to part their lips and catch her breath.

Utena cleared her throat, “I uhm—was that ok?” she asked suddenly, instantly embarrassed by how dumb her question sounded. It was clear that Anthy was ok with what happened, but some of her insecurities and doubts still lingered.

Anthy smiled coyly at her, “It was _more_ than ok,” she purred, glancing down wistfully at Utena’s lips before settling back on her blue eyes.

A sheepish smile appeared on Utena’s face along with an intense pink that spread across her cheeks, “Oh, good. I wasn’t sure if it was, I wouldn’t want you to—” she was cutoff mid-sentence when Anthy pecked her lips and smiled reassuringly up at her.

“Believe me, you would’ve known if I wasn’t ok with it.”

Utena nodded dumbly, her senses and thoughts a bit scattered. She was having a difficult time concentrating on anything other than the need she had to continue kissing Anthy. After a second or two of thinking she tilted her head down, deciding to give into the need. Their lips were just about to touch, when the buzzing of one of their cellphones vibrated loudly on the nightstand.

An annoyed groan sounded in the back of Utena’s throat, but she stood up and retrieved the cellphone anyways.

The caller I.D. read, “Miki” and she quickly picked it up. Miki asked them if they were ok and if they had found any clues at Ohtori. She skimmed over most of the details letting Miki know that she’d explain things in more detail when they got back to the states. He then asked if they had received Juri’s text about their flight home.

Utena put Miki on speaker while she flipped through her recent text messages.

“5AM! That’s like less than two hours away!”

“Juri said she sent you that text a few hours ago.”

“Shit…ok we kinda lost track of time. I’ll talk to you later Miki, we have to get our things together.”

“Of course, we’ll see you when you land.”

Utena hung up the phone and both her and Anthy started packing their things as quickly as possible. Getting stranded this close to Ohtori wasn’t something either of them wanted, so they had to make sure they made that flight.


	10. Books and Their Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***This chapter has NSFW content towards the end***

A wintery breeze brushed uncomfortably against Utena’s face as they both stepped out of the airport and onto the sidewalk, looking for any signs of Nanami and her car. After a few minutes of searching the road, Utena turned to look at her phone. There were no new messages or notifications, that would indicate any issues so she supposed the Los Angeles traffic was just making their ride late.

The exhaustion from the trip had seeped into every muscle in Utena’s body making her miss her bed. They had spent most of the plane ride wide awake, mainly because she had asked Anthy every question that was jammed up inside her head concerning the swords and the likelihood of her controlling them. Luckily, most of the news was positive, the swords only had real power when surrounded by other magical sources or when the host lost complete control of their emotions. They would basically react as a deadly extension of her fight or flight response. Which seemed like an advantage until it backfired and destroyed rational thinking, plunging the cursed into a spiral of chaotic and self-destructive decisions. That would ultimately end in death.

Keeping her emotions in check seemed like an easy enough task, but she knew there were other factors that she had no control over and even Anthy warned her to be vigilant. _The swords are a powerful curse, one that was never meant to be carried by a human._

Anthy’s warning echoed through her mind, she wondered if her survival so far had all been a fluke or if fate and intelligent design had had a hand in it all. Either way she felt played and used and was ready to take a quick break before starting on the hunt for Akio Ohtori.

Screeching tires on the road jolted her out of her musings, she furrowed her brows and squinted her eyes while she stared into the dark tinted windows of the Porsche Cayenne. The driver eventually pulled the passenger window down.

“Why are you two still standing there like statues, you coming or what?”

Nanami’s condescending tone grated, and Utena had to squeeze her fingers tightly around her luggage in order to suppress an irritated reply. The drive back to Juri’s was over an hour away and she didn’t want to spend that time arguing with the driver.

“Thanks for coming to pick us up,” Utena strained through practically clenched teeth, “can you pop the trunk?”

Without another word Nanami did as she was asked then dove all her attention to her phone screen.

Utena and Anthy made their way to the back of the car, and arranged their luggage in a neat pile before Utena slammed the trunk door.

“Be gentle with her you brute!”

“My bad,” she called up apologetically but grinned to herself in satisfaction.

“You did that on purpose.” Anthy jokingly reprimanded, and Utena just shrugged her shoulders before they both got into the Porsche.

Anthy sat up in the passenger seat while Utena took the seat behind Nanami. The drive out to the freeway was a bit nerve racking, especially since Nanami had an extreme case of road rage. Utena could feel her hand shake from the pressure she was applying to the handle hanging above the window. Her hand finally eased up once Nanami got into the carpool lane and away from other vehicles.

Utena idly watched the traffic flow on the opposite side of the road and let her body slouch lazily against the seat. Through the mirror she could see both Nanami’s and Anthy’s reflection, both of them wore an apathetic expression. Within the silence of the car, her mind veered back to the intimate moment she had shared with Anthy at the hotel.

The kiss had been an unexpected decision, one she was sure she wouldn’t have made if she was thinking more clearly. Sure, it had felt right in the moment but now that her emotions had settled, she was second guessing her choices. Their relationship was already complicated enough before the kiss and romantic pursuits were the last things she wanted to deal with.

Utena decided that the kiss was just a lapse of judgment brought on by a stressful situation and nothing more. She also decided to steer clear of the conversation as long as Anthy didn’t bring it up. There were other more important things to figure out. She let her head loll back into a comfortable spot on the seat and closed her eyes for the rest of the trip.

They arrived back at Juri’s mansion at a little before midnight. Utena took her luggage straight to her Honda and packed it into the trunk before heading towards the house. Anthy had left her luggage untouched and had disappeared into the mansion long before Utena and Nanami walked inside.

Once inside, Utena walked over to the living room and waved hello to Miki. He waved back at her, sitting comfortably on the couch sipping on a cup of tea.

“Glad you guys made it back in one piece. I’m excited to hear what you discovered back at Ohtori.”

A disheartened sigh slipped through Utena’s lips at the mention of Ohtori, she hoped Anthy would explain the story but she was nowhere around. She let her body drop dramatically into the seat next to him, “There really isn’t much to say, the school was wrecked and we were attacked by a group of duelists but that was about it.”

He shifted in his seat, “Did you see my sister?”

Utena shook her head, “No, we only saw the duelists and none of them looked familiar. Most of them weren’t even Japanese.”

He furrowed his eyebrows then put the teacup down on the coffee table, “Hmm…that’s strange.”

She shrugged nonchalantly, “I guess, but they were all wearing similar uniforms and we know they all work for Akio.”

“Did you interrogate any of them?” Juri’s authoritative voice seeped into the living room as she approached them.

Utena cleared her throat and sat up straight, “Well…we tried…but the guy we talked to didn’t make much sense to me. But I think Anthy can figure that part out for us.”

“Let’s hope so, or we are back to square one.” Juri stepped to the couch across from them and sat down, “Did Nanami mention what happened on the car ride over?”

“I didn’t tell them,” Nanami intruded, leaning up against one of the nearby pillars, “I received a letter just like Miki. It says that I need to willingly give myself up to the duelists or else my fiancé will pay the price.”

Juri took in a sharp breath, “I also received a letter, hand delivered by one of the duelists.” She noticed the question on Utena’s face and pointed to the coffee table, “All three letters are there, you can take a look if you want.”

Miki glanced at Utena then at the letters, “We already studied them; they were all written in Japanese but there are a few weird lines at the bottom that are identical in all three letters.”

Utena reached over and picked up one of the letters to investigate it further. She soon noticed the strange writing at the very bottom of the letter. They looked like letters from many different languages and alphabets. She crumpled the paper slightly between her fingers, “Fucking asshole is toying with us.”

Nanami scoffed, “ _Really_ , you just figured that one out?” Utena gave her a warning glance and she smirked in response, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s clear to everyone here that he is orchestrating a new stupid game to get what he wants and it’s obvious he needs all of us in order to make it work.” She pushed herself off the pillar and positions herself between the two couches, both of her hands on her hips. “I don’t know about all of you, but I’m tired of playing by his rules. We need to even the playing field.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?” Juri raised an eyebrow, all her attention centered on the blonde.

Nanami cleared her throat, “Capture and interrogation—”

“Anthy and I tried that, it didn’t really get us anywhere.” Utena chimed in, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Maybe you two didn’t try hard enough,” Nanami countered.

Utena chuckled cynically, “Yeah, because breaking someone’s leg and making them bleed from their eyes isn’t trying hard enough.” Nanami grimaced, while Juri regarded Utena with a curious look and Miki shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“The duelist are a dead end,” Everyone in the living room turned to face Anthy as she stepped into their line of sight. “Akio has complete control over them and most of them are not completely corporeal beings.”

“What does that mean?” Nanami spoke up, asking what everyone was thinking.

“They are strong projections of spirits tethered to their individual swords and Akio. Many of them were killed during his failed attempts to reclaim Dios’ power.”

“Why didn’t you tell us this earlier?” Juri’s tone was tinted with minor irritation.

“I wasn’t sure that was the case, but after revisiting Ohtori I can be certain. Which is why I’m telling you now.”

“Does knowing this help us in any way?” Miki asked, picking up the cup of tea he had abandoned at the beginning of their conversation.

“Yes, because the duelists and swords are connected to Akio, I can use them to help track his location but it won’t be exact and I need time to figure it out.” Anthy walked over to the table and picked up the letters on the coffee table, giving each a quick once over. “The phrases written at the bottom of these letters are similar to the message the duelist gave us back at the dueling arena.”

“So, it’s all part of the game.” Juri said with a half-repressed sigh.

A silent and tense minute passed through the room before Anthy took in a short breath, “Yes, and there’s more than one way to play this game.”

***

Wine wasn’t exactly at the top of Utena’s list when it came to drinks but it was all Anthy had offered her after she asked for something stronger than herbal tea. Idly she spun the liquid in the glass, watching the liquid form a small cyclone.

They had ended up at Anthy’s home after the long conversation back at Juri’s. They were currently stuck at an impasse that only Anthy could steer them through. Every waking moment without progress brought her emotions closer to the edge. Wakaba was in the clutches of a complete sociopath while she was sitting safely in Anthy’s living room with a glass of wine. She gripped the glass a little tighter in her hands before finally taking a sip.

The cool liquid coated her taste buds with savory hints of black currant, subtly quenching some of her thirst. It tasted a lot better than most of the wines she had ever tried but that wasn’t surprising, most of the stuff she had experience with came from a box. She looked over her shoulder and to the hallway leading to the rooms in the house. She spotted Anthy walking back to the living room, a stack of books in her arms.

Anthy placed the books into a neat pile on top of the coffee table situated in the center of the living room next to the two large couches that formed a large L-shape. Curiously, Utena studied the books but made no move to get closer.

Utena took another sip of the wine, “What’s with the books?”

Anthy sat down across from the pile of large bodied tomes on the coffee table, picking up the one sitting at the top. The pages in the book were a bit brittle and the paper had a yellow tint to it. She placed it on her lap before turning to face Utena, “These books hold the history and secrets of kingdoms long forgotten.” She flipped through a few pages studying all the details. “They were written by those who came before Akio and I.” She paused; her attention fully consumed by an excerpt in the book.

Slowly, Utena got to her feet and wandered over to the opposite side of the table to investigate the books further. A brown leather book was now sitting at the top of the pile, it had strange symbols and runes etched into the cover. “How is that going to help us?”

Without looking up from the page, Anthy answered, “Magic was once an everyday part of this world, but after the gods left, they took most of it with them. These books have detailed instructions on how to cultivate magical energy.”

Magic was one of the last things Utena wanted to put her faith into, it had brought nothing but pain and misery into her life. Yet, deep down she knew they had no other choice. They were completely in the dark and outnumbered. Still, she had her doubts and questions, “What do you plan to do with it?”

“Weaken or destroy the bond between Akio and the souls.” Anthy skipped a few pages, her eyes glued to the writing.

“Is it safe?”

Subconsciously, the muscles underneath Anthy’s skin tensed, the same way they tensed before she plastered on a fake facade. “Yes.”

Fascination and curiosity had clouded some of Utena’s senses as she stared at the book and she only half-listened to Anthy’s answer. She reached over and glided her finger tips over its cover. She gripped its spine and picked it up into her hands, opening up to the first page “Can I help?”

Anthy looked up at Utena then at the book she was holding, “None of these books are written in a language you’d understand.”

Utena turned through a few pages, the words made no sense and the pictures did little to help her figure out the books hidden secrets. “Yeah, I can see that…” she tried one more page before giving up and placing the book next to the others.

“Why don’t you go rest? You seem exhausted.”

“I doubt I can sleep,” she picked up her wine glass and took a generous sip.

Pots rattling in the kitchen pulled their attention away from their conversation, Utena walked closer to the kitchen and noticed Chu-Chu trying to pry a cookie out of a glass jar. Anthy set the book down and walked into the kitchen, she took a cookie out of the jar and handed it to the hungry marmoset. She then turned on her heels and faced Utena, “Would breakfast help?”

At the mention of food Utena’s stomach grumbled, it had been several hours since their last meal and food sounded amazing. “Breakfast sounds great.” Chu-Chu squeaked in agreement after scarfing down the cookie he was given.

Utena sat herself down on the bar chairs facing the kitchen while Anthy prepared their breakfast. The smell of eggs, sausage and toast soon enveloped the kitchen, making her mouth water. She had initially been a bit skeptical about Anthy preparing the food but those doubts were slowly fading away. There was no way something that smelled this good could ever taste horrible.

Chu-Chu sat on the counter next to Utena, equally enthralled by all the great smells surrounding the kitchen. The little marmoset decided to get a closer look and scurried closer to the stove. Within seconds Utena noticed him try to reach into the hot pan. “Chu-Chu stop!” She rushed to the stove and reached her hand over to stop him.

The hungry marmoset dodged her hands and she lost her footing, stumbling to the left and bumping into Anthy. She braced her arms on either side of the counter to stop herself from falling, pinning Anthy between her and the counter.

Heat rose quickly to Utena’s cheeks as she stared down at Anthy’s surprised expression. Their faces were close enough that Utena could feel Anthy’s breath. She swallowed hard and stumbled back a few steps, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—it was Chu-Chu he got close to the stove and I didn’t want him to get hurt.”

A small smile crept to Anthy’s lips and she nodded, “It’s ok, he has a bad habit of doing that.” She stepped over to the stove and stirred the food around before shutting off the flame. “Foods ready, help yourself.”

They both sat contentedly on the couch after their meal. Even Chu-Chu lay happily snuggled up in Utena’s lap, enjoying the brush of her fingers on his fur. Anthy reached for the next book in the pile and inattentively searched its contents, something else was clearly on her mind.

“What’s wrong?” Utena asked, her focus now concentrated on Anthy.

Anthy smiled halfheartedly up at Utena before staring back at the pages of the book on her lap, “Nothing.” she flipped to the next page, her finger tracing the words she read.

Unconvinced, Utena reached over and took the book from Anthy’s lap to look at what she was reading. There was nothing on the page that she could discern as concerning, but she also couldn’t read a single damn thing on the pages. “This plan doesn’t require a sacrifice, right?” Her tone was joking, “If it does, I volunteer Nanami’s Porsche…or Nanami.”

Anthy’s eyebrow lifted slightly then she laughed, “No it’s not that type of ritual.” She reached over to take the book back, but Utena held it tightly.

“So, we’re performing a ritual?”

“ _I’m_ performing a ritual; you and the others just need to be ready.”

“Juri has us covered; she has enough weapons to arm a battalion.”

“Modern weapons will not be very useful once we cross the nexus between this world and Akio’s hidden city.”

Confusion covered Utena’s face, “Ok, now you’ve lost me. How do you know Akio is in a city?”

Anthy sighed, placing her hands into her lap, eyes concentrated on the coffee table across from her, “The duelist showed me.”

“Showed you?”

“Yes, I saw it when I invaded his memories.”

Utena thought back on the events at the dueling arena and the image of the duelist screaming with blood streaming down his eyes invaded her mind. “So that’s what was happening…” she pushed the image from her thoughts, “Do you know where it is?”

“Not yet, the binding magic used to enchant the sword is powerful.”

“Have you been to that city?” The short hitch in Anthy’s breathing gave Utena her answer. “What’s the name of the city?”

A quiet minute passed between them, Anthy’s body became rigid and still. Her statue like state made Utena uneasy, the question had obviously touched a nerve but she couldn’t stop now, she needed to know the answer.

Chu-Chu jumped off of Utena’s lap now that he wasn’t receiving any attention. He climbed down the couch and perched himself near the stack of books on the coffee table.

Utena reached for Anthy’s shoulder and she gently wrapped her fingers around it. The small pressure got Anthy to react and turn to look at her. Hauntingly green eyes stared deep into hers, revealing an intense sorrow that pierced straight through Utena’s defenses. The strong pull to protect and console Anthy instinctually brought her closer; arms gently cradling her into a comforting embrace.

Anthy welcomed the hug, wrapping her arms tightly around Utena. Consuming misery enveloped her thoughts, causing her eyes to sting with emotive memories of the past. She inhaled deeply, desperately fighting to keep control of her emotions. To reign them in and cage them behind the barriers she built over the years. But things weren’t that easy, not anymore, not sense she had escaped from the coffin that shielded her from the outside world.

Without pulling away from the hug Anthy shifted in Utena’s arms, nuzzling into her neck. Utena swallowed hard, her cheeks reddening with each gentle brush of Anthy’s skin against hers.

This was starting to feel a lot like the experience they shared back at the hotel. Utena could feel Anthy slowly relax into her arms. Letting go of some of her apprehension and regaining her composure. She waited patiently for Anthy to give her an answer.

“The names not important, the city I was shown is an illusion, a copy of the original which fell to war and greed thousands of years ago. It was the last place Akio and I were with Dios.” Anthy closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of Utena’s body against her own. She hadn’t thought about that city since Utena had brought it up after the nightmare she had back when they slept together in Juri’s mansion. Hesitantly she continued, “It’s the place you’ve been seeing in your dreams.”

“That place is real?”

“It was…once, now it’s just a pile of ash and ruins.”

“So, what I was seeing were—”

“Memories.”

“Am I seeing them because of the connection you talked about?” Utena felt Anthy nod against her shoulder, “Wow…you’re a lot older than I thought you were—I mean it’s not like there’s anything wrong with that. You look amazing for your age.” She shut her mouth abruptly, knowing that she was digging herself deeper into a hole.

Anthy laughed and between her mirth she said, “You really do have a way with words.”

Utena chuckled, her embarrassment slowly subsiding, “Yup, that’s how I get all the girls.” The words tumbled out of her mouth unthinkingly and she bit her tongue in an attempt to stop herself from saying anything more humiliating.

“ _All_ the girls?” Anthy tone was teasing, she ended their embrace and sat up to look at Utena; whose cheeks were becoming redder by the second. A coy smile spread across Anthy’s lips, “Have you been with a lot of women?”

Utena cleared her throat and she averted her eyes towards the coffee table, where she watched Chu-Chu climbing to the top of the book pile. She scrambled to form the right answer but her mind and body were too distracted by Anthy’s presence. “I guess that depends on your definition of _a lot_.”

Anthy hummed in agreement, lacing her fingers around Utena’s hand, bringing blue eyes to meet hers again, “I’m not surprised, especially not after the kiss we shared.” A mischievous twinkle shined in her eyes and her lips twisted into a sardonic grin as she watched the look of embarrassment spread across Utena’s blushing face.

The memory of the kiss brought another wave of heat to Utena’s face, making her feel a bit dizzy. She focused her attention on their hands, hoping that the lack of eye contact would help her think more clearly. “You’re a really good kisser…” she murmured, rubbing the back of her neck.

Anthy traced her fingers down Utena’s jaw, gently tilting her head up to meet her eyes. She glanced down at Utena’s lips, leaning in slightly before stopping and peering up at her, silently asking for permission. Utena inched closer and they met, their lips tenderly tangled while their hands eagerly brought them closer together.

Anthy climbed on top of Utena’s lap, her knees settling on the couch cushions on either side of Utena’s hips. Utena placed her hands on Anthy’s thighs, they were warm and smooth to the touch. Anthy’s arms wrapped around her neck, fingers weaving into her pink hair.

Anthy’s scent was intoxicating, it made her mind feel hazy and euphoric, she boldly guided her hands up higher to grasp at her hips and pull her closer. Earning her a soft moan from Anthy’s lips, who’s mouth then opened hungrily around her own.

The need she had deepened, urging Utena to press her lips more daringly into Anthy’s, pushing the kiss to become something more intimate. Anthy welcomed the ardent passion with a soft whimper that resonated in the back of her throat.

The sweet sound of Anthy’s moan encouraged Utena to lean into her, guiding them down to the couch, all the while making sure their lips never parted. Utena’s body hovered close to Anthy’s, but she propped herself up on her palms and knees keeping their bodies from truly connecting.

Anthy’s breath hitched and she let out a soft moan when she felt Utena’s tongue drift down her neck and towards her collar bone. “Utena…” She murmured breathlessly, wrapping her arms tightly around her.

Utena could feel the rising heat of desire with every kiss and touch they shared. The doubt of indecision and control, faded into the back of her mind and she allowed her longing to take hold, willingly following it back to lick and tease at Anthy’s neck.

Anthy’s body desperately arched up, “Utena, please…closer.” She pleaded and Utena obeyed, lowering her body. Before long they both decided to move things to the bedroom, they climbed onto the bed and Anthy pulled Utena’s face to hers, bringing their lips together again. She kissed Utena with a little more urgency than she had shown while on the couch. She could feel the soft tenderness of Utenas lips pressing into her own and couldn’t help but entangle her legs around Utena’s waist to sit on her lap.

Utena lowered her hands beneath Anthys shirt and reached for the back of her bra. She snapped the clasps off, fervently reaching for the bottom of Anthy’s shirt and quickly pulling it off along with the bra.

Anthy gasped in surprise but was thankful to have less clothing on. She craved to feel Utena’s warm body rub against her skin, but she didn’t want to rush things so she leaned back grinding her hips into Utena’s lap.

Utena leaned forward, taking one of Anthy’s supple breasts into her mouth, her tongue moved in slow soft circles around her nipple. Eliciting low breathy moans from Anthy as her hips rocked more vigorously against hers.

She nipped at the tip of her nipple before sucking on it, inviting sounds of want from Anthy. Once satisfied, she removed her mouth and replaced it with her hand which continued to massage Anthy’s now sensitive skin.

This gave Anthy a moment to breathe and recover. Utena watched her, a mischievous grin pulling at her lips as her mouth made its way to her neglected breast. Anthy licked her lips feeling heat flare deep in her belly as she looked into Utena’s wanting eyes. Her back arched and her hips rocked hard against Utena’s lap, once she felt her mouth wrap around her nipple. Utena nipped, sucked and licked Anthy’s breast until it was raw and tender.

Utena placed soft kisses between her breasts then carefully laid Anthy on her back. Her hands skimmed the top of Anthy’s thighs, slowly making their way to the bottom of her skirt. Anthy’s hips moved slightly off the bed, her body eagerly waiting for Utena’s touch to finally reach her.

A charmingly coy smile spread over Utena’s lips once she reached Anthy’s silk panties and noticed they were already soaked through. “You’re so wet.” Utena’s tone was sultry and seductive. She rubbed Anthy through the thin layer of silk, and her body writhed, hips swaying impatiently against Utena’s fingers.

“Please…Utena…” Anthy tried to beg through the torturous touch, but found it difficult to create a coherent sentence. She could feel the pulsing in her intensify with every sway of her hips. This was starting to drive her mad, she needed more. “Touch me…” She managed to choke out after feeling Utena’s fingers slide down, below her clit.

Utena decided to end Anthy’s torment and reached for the top of her panties slowly pulling them down. Anthy eagerly lifted her hips helping Utena slide them down her thighs before she tossed them carelessly to the side of the bed.

Utena drank in the sight of a now topless Anthy beneath her. She leaned into her, pressing her lips softly below one of her breasts, her mouth teasing and nibbling her as she made her way down Anthy’s body. Utena’s fingers moved confidently down the inside of Anthy’s thighs and she gave them a light squeeze. Asking Anthy to open up a little wider, which she did readily. Utena then positioned herself between her legs and continued to tease her by pressing faint kisses on her inner thighs. Anthy arched her back and groaned impatiently as Utena drew closer to her.

Anthy could feel Utena move excruciatingly slow, adding more tension to her already throbbing wet center. She was both loving and hating the amorous attention Utena was showing the rest of her body, but she needed and wanted her between her legs _now_. “Stop…teasing me,” she gasped out, struggling through the onslaught of small tremors, being induced by Utena’s touch. But her plea went unheard and Anthy let out a frustrated groan before reaching down, to run her fingers through Utena’s short hair and pulling her gently towards her.

She let Anthy’s hand guide her to her core and she leaned in, her tongue creating short circles around Anthy’s clit. She could hear Anthy’s breath hitch as her hips rose up to meet her tongue.

Every sensual sound that escaped Anthy’s mouth, made Utena flick her tongue with more intensity. Anthy tasted sweet and she wanted more of her, she slipped her tongue below her clit, exploring her deeper.

Anthy responded by bucking her hips rhythmically to the touch, following Utena’s lead. She could feel a rising pressure and yearned for release. Utena’s experienced mouth rose back to her clit and both of her hands shot to the bedsheets below, her fingers death gripped the sheets and her hips pushed up hungrily against Utena’s tongue. “Utena…Utena…don’t stop…” She commanded, through heavy panting, her body shuddered and shivered at every little swipe of friction to her clit. Her head was now spinning and her body felt like it was about to explode. She couldn’t take much more of this; her body jerked as she tensed up and was finally pushed over the edge. A melting sensation mingled with complete and utter extasy as her body finally relaxed back into the mattress and she fought to catch her breath.

Utena laid down beside Anthy, taking her into her arms. A confident smile crossed her lips, she felt happily satisfied with what she had just done to her.

Anthy laid her head on Utena’s chest, it was becoming increasingly difficult to think of anything other than the pleasure she still felt in the aftershocks of her orgasm, but the one thought that lingered in her mind was how much she cared about Utena.

They laid together in bliss; their bodies entangled comfortably within the bedsheets, and for the first time in a long time they felt completely and utterly happy, like the world wasn’t trying it’s hardest to keep them apart.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave comments and Kudos, I love hearing what readers think of the story :D


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